Archives for wmmr

Taking out the (head) trash!

Head by Fimb on Flickr

Head by Fimb on Flickr

There are many phrases for it, many of which I’ve heard recently. This leads me to believe that there a personal message about this personal growth rite of passage meant for me to notice and use in my life. “Going to the fire.” “Being on the field instead of in the stands.” ” You can’t go around it you have to go through it.”

For the most part I have prided myself on taking epic leaps in my life for the sake of personal or professional expansion. My comfort zone is much more vast than the 8-year-old me would have even imagined. Since being that scared, intimidated, self-conscious little girl, I have made it a mission to prove to myself what I’m capable of. However, in my quest for personal and professional development, I am confronted and very haunted by things from my past – stories that I have inherited, stubborn self-limiting beliefs that remain, and bitterness and resentment that resurfaces during moments of weakness.  While I know, logically and consciously that these beliefs are just reoccurring stories that my brain made up and have very little truth in them, my subconscious believes them.  They continually redirect my life to align with the self-limiting beliefs rather than the identity I have been striving to create for myself.

 

Why do I have so much to prove to myself?

It is the answer to this question that is, fundamentally, the reason I hold myself back. I’ve tried various methods of ridding myself of this belief –  EFT, The Sedona Method, meditation, affirmations, declarations, incantations, etc. I still believe that all these methods have tremendous application to my life, but for this one reoccurring story, they have not done the job of ridding me of it.  (This Brainathon event on Saturday looks promising, but still…)

In my practice of being present, I notice signals that are meant to prompt me into appropriate action. I do believe there is no such thing as coincidence. I believe that there is an energy that is common among all of us, that if we tune into it, all of our questions and qualms are answered. I believe that this is how we achieve a self-actualized life. The message that I have been getting loud and clear lately from various sources, including Eddie Vedder‘s interview with WMMR, a speaker that I had for a social media subgroup that I run, my intern, and various books and articles that have been passed my way in the past couple months, is this:

I need to stop avoiding the source of the story and deal with it directly.

This means potential conflict with someone that I love. That means that there’s the potential that I could, by bringing this to light, cause a rift that could impact not just my relationship with this person, but other people’s relationships as well. I’m resolved that I have done everything possible to overcome this story without assuming such a risk. It will eventually become part of my new story. But I have to resolve the old one first. I’m sure if you have read this far, you probably want to know what that story is and who I’m implicating as being the cause. I assure you – the cause is me – I created the story. I know this, and I know I can create a new story. But I have to walk through the fire. There’s no more thinking I can get around it. The story reoccurs unless I put it to rest with this individual now.

I know I make it through it. I know the other person will make it through it as well. And when I share with you my new story you will get all the juicy details of the old one. Until I have the opportunity to share the story with the individual who inspired it, she will remain anonymous.

I fully anticipate someday that I will revolutionize careering and hiring. Someday, I will by a sought-after keynote speaker and visible spokesperson for career empowerment. I know that there are many people out there who have similar or smaller dreams and are stopped by head trash. If you don’t have any trash, or even if you do, and you live an actualized life, you may see other people who are inabile to succeed up to their own standards as lazy, weak leeches who would rather be supported by the government and others’ hard work than go out and help themselves. I see that head trash is an epidemic – it is a toxin that has poisoned the minds of too many people who have amazing potential. Someday, I will tell my story and help other people take out the trash, transcend their pasts, and write new futures. So, if I’m going to “call out” this person in a very public forum someday anyway, I’d rather tell them now about the stories that I made up about them and about me.

 

Stay tuned and wish me luck.

Eddie Vedder’s Recent Words to Live By

Wild horse passing by Inyucho on Flickr

Wild horse passing by Inyucho on Flickr

Artists, musicians, actors, speakers and politicians wield an amazing power to captivate and inspire us. Any time I imagined being in the public eye, even if it was as a highly recognized thought leader in careering as opposed to a rock star, I have always been very intimidated by this power. I feel that such a delicate balance must be maintained in order to do the optimum good and not be intoxicated by it, both as the wielder and the recipient.

 

Compared to many of my friends, I would be considered a Pearl Jam fan by default. While I enjoyed grunge music when it emerged in high school, most of my friends and I were much more into hip-hop and R&B. It took me a couple years after it was pervasive to adopt an appreciation for grunge. It took until I met my husband to be a fan of it. We had recently been debating about what defines a true “fan,” a conversation spurred by the recent airing of an exclusive interview between Pierre Robert, Nick McIlwain and Matty Cord at WMMR (93.3 FM Philadelphia) and Eddie Vedder, lead singer for Pearl Jam. For the sake of this blog, we will consider a fan to be someone who attends at least 5 concerts (though I know my friends will say 10, 20, 50…)

 

My husband had been dubbed “the biggest Pearl Jam fan alive” by some of his friends, a title that was recently resurrected at a 90s party we attended last weekend. I know that there are A LOT of extremely zealous fans who would refute that, and he has no interest in defending the title. He’s lost count of how many shows he’s been to, though. Before kids, he would travel internationally to see them. There is no comparison between us; he is the “true” Pearl Jam fan.

 

However, between us, I may just be the bigger Eddie Vedder fan. Yes, I like his solo music, but I am talking more about the person. I don’t claim to know him; I know from my New Kids On The Block days (don’t judge) that I should not delude myself with that fantasy. What I do know of him, however, and what I continue to learn about him impresses me and deeply inspires me.

 

From where he has come, he is unequivocally emotionally intelligent. He is witty and a compelling storyteller. He uses powerful analogies that make poignant points, that don’t just resonate, but linger.

 

For instance, in the WMMR interview, Eddie was asked by Nick, another “biggest Pearl Jam fan alive,” if he is cognizant of the energy that is ever-present between the band and their concert attendees. I have been to a lot of concerts for all types of music, but there is definitely something unique about how unabashed a Pearl Jam crowd is to sing every lyric back to the band at the top of their lungs, some for the whole show  – every word…unabashed! A sea of this. There’s also a LOT of hugging and high-fiving, and I’m talking guys and girls, both known and strangers!

 

Eddie said, “It’s not always there and you can’t predict it.” Then he compared this energy to a horse. Paraphrased from memory:

 

It’s bigger than you. You have to respect it and know how to handle yourself around it, especially if you want to ride it.

 

This was a thought that hung in my brain all day, as I instantly recognized this as the same sentiment I have in regards to the respect I feel must be given to the greatness that is within all of us. If we could harness it, and ride it like a horse (or a wave), we would live exhilarating, fully actualized lives, but only if we were able to maintain awareness and appreciation that we are (all) great because of something greater than ourselves.

 

I can’t help but be in awe of Eddie’s ability to tune into this great energy to create life-altering music (a collaborative effort for which I’m sure he would not want sole credit), produce amazingly inspirational interviews, and engage a crowd like no other I have seen.

 

As a performer, Eddie gives me something to strive for. I would love to have an impact on people’s lives through music (or spoken word) like he has had. Check out the ESPN story on Steve Gleason.

 

Another quote about life in general that worth sharing:

 

“It’s not getting around the fire, it’s getting through it.

It’s about looking out for everyone on the planet.”

 

An aside: I am ecstatic that Eddie recognized WMMR. I decided to leave radio in 2000, when DJs were being replaced by computers, while a former classmate took the reigns as Producer of The Preston and Steve Show, which was then on Y100 (100.3 Philadelphia.) The show moved over to WMMR in 2005 and I am very happy for the show’s as well as the station’s success. Philadelphia is very blessed to have WMMR and XPN on our dial!