Archives for self-empowerment

America’s Birthday: How many are left? That’s up to us

I had never been very interested in history or current events as a kid. A few things stuck out as pivotal – the spaceship exploding, the Gulf War starting, the fall of the USSR, and the attempted assassination of Reagan. My dad was active politically, campaigning for guys from his neighborhood. I remember our basement full of campaign signs, buttons, and styrofoam hats.  I remember being brought to a campaign event on a sunny day. I was bored.

It’s probably not surprising what changed that – a teacher. Much like how Dr. Wickersham brought Greek Mythology alive at Ursinus College, when Mr. Kozol taught history and civics in 11th grade, a lot of dots connected for me that planted seeds that steered me in a completely different career direction. He was also just so nice. He didn’t take crap from students but didn’t get much, either. He would turn a smart-ass comment swiftly into a burn even the smart-ass couldn’t refute was funny. He was the first teacher who made me believe college was a possible future for me. I really hadn’t been encouraged before then by my parents or my guidance counselors. He inspired me to own my decision, and so I looked further into his inspiration for clues as to a possible career path that might make me happy, because a corporate life looked pretty awful. My mom was overworked and underappreciated and my dad was forced into early retirement and I resented his company for it when he sold the house I grew up in to move into a tiny apartment with a closet-sized room for me.

Some things that stuck out from Mr. Kozol’s lessons:

“He won da war” –  a phrase he repeated throughout the course, referring to the trend of presidential candidates who won elections because they… well, won a war.

I really hadn’t cared one bit about political parties before this class, but he made me see just how influential a two-party system was and how, when a 3rd party tried to emerge, all it did was split the vote and make one party dominate an election. I was surprised to learn, then, that Lincoln was a republican and the democrats of the time were actually for slavery, and how the parties flipped by the time FDR was president.

I hadn’t decided what party I was and really despise being labeled, be it for my clothing, grades, race, gender, socioeconomic status, family status, hair color, hobbies, talents, athletic abilities, group of friends, musical tastes, my NAME (thanks, 2020 – the gift that keeps on giving), etc., etc.  One of the highlights of my high school career, in fact, was when the infamous Mr. Beech said, “Hollinger, I just can’t figure you out.”  That’s right. Try as you may, you won’t.

In fact, I was registered independent from the time I first registered to vote until my friend and someone I had worked alongside was running and wanted my support in the primary (primaries in PA are by party.)  I have since enjoyed exercising my voting rights in primaries and have remained registered as one party, and do lean that way (full disclosure), but I have mapped it and I’m not far from the middle. Even as a kid I resisted leaning way into trends. I don’t have tattoos (though I know of two things I would/will? get.) I hold on to clothes way past they’re out of style because they’re functional. I put signs on my yard, but they include democratic and republican friends.

“Speak softly and carry a big stick.” Wow. What an image. This certainly wasn’t original to my teacher. It wasn’t even original to Teddy Roosevelt; it was a West African proverb.  To me, it seemed like an honorable guide to diplomacy that worked for him at that time. It also seemed like many leaders, corporate, government, and otherwise, have bastardized this phrase and adopted it to use extreme intimidation in leadership. If that had worked in the past, data shows that leadership has had to adapt a lot to be effective in garnering performance and loyalty among younger generations in the workforce. I wonder if there is a modern-day version of the proverb that can be applied today or if there is a novel model that needs yet to be created and applied. Do we integrate or disintegrate old systems and create anew?

Checks and balances – Our whole system was designed to make sure that men, who our founding fathers knew could become easily corrupted, did not usurp the power of the people. A free press was a fairly unique development in the world at the time. Our mother country considered it seditious to speak against the king.  Considering one of the forefathers claimed by Philadelphia, Benjamin Franklin, was one of the drafters of the Constitution who advocated for a free press, I felt an affinity for this right, very closely associated with free speech, and thought, perhaps, this was my calling. Holding leaders accountable seemed very noble to me. I suppose it still does.  I wrote my college application essays on the premise that I would someday be a journalist. That changed, as did the press itself, by the time I was deep into my major courses, Media Criticism, in particular. My visiting professor for Media Crit went by Tony (or Tom? I’ve tried confirming this to give him proper credit, and will correct this if I am able). In that course, a few things stood out, and one thing, in particular, changed my career course completely – the modern media mogul.

This course delved further into concepts first brought to my attention by Mr. Kozol – yellow journalism and propaganda, which I had come to believe was a thing of the past, something we had evolved enough as a country to identify and rebuke. I learned from Tony(?) that I was very wrong, that even the media we were presented with then (1997ish) was slanted depending on the political leanings of the owners. He introduced us to [Noam Chompsky], a modern-day Benjamin Franklin, some might say, and also from Philadelphia. I felt that if I were to become a journalist, I would be forced to perpetuate propaganda at some level from one side or the other in order to maintain a career.  We were trained to identify bias, and I was very disillusioned at how much we identified.  (Shout out to Dr. Lynne Edwards who also taught me how to write unbiased, though this is not an example of the unbiased writing she taught me.) If you are curious if there is any unbiased news, I have yet to find any, but as someone trained to identify bias (not that I am not still inherently biased to some degree – I just have a greater awareness of it), I can disregard any information I find to be biased and lean on more fact-based reporting to form my opinions, which are still just my opinions and are still limited to the information with which I am presented without having conducted peer-reviewed research to test my theories adequately. I did this kind of research as one of Ursinus College’s first summer fellows, and, honestly, I didn’t cut the mustard. I was questioned rigorously by a penal of academic scholars and was denied honors for this research because I inadequately presented my case. I appreciate the rigor of peer-reviewed research, and yet, there are no fixed finalities in any research – only findings. There must always be room for more current information to influence opinion and inform policy.

Don’t let someone tell you what defines another group. This is a red flag for propaganda. Today we call it “othering.” Both sides do it. Rise above it. Call it out. Find out yourself what people are about, and do it on more than one level for more than one issue. Challenge yourself to find common ground with people. We are dynamic by nature, not flat. Yet, as we strive to feel belonging, we often lose those dimensions. We do not blossom to our full potential while our petals are being peeled and dimmed by the expectations of our communities. It takes something in these times to reach out beyond our communities to explore and define our full dimensions and realize our full potential.

Personal rights – My rights end where yours begin. This drives my view of everything for which our Constitution stands.  One person cannot disenfranchise the rights of someone else. At least, that is how it is supposed to be.

Nothing was meant to be absolute and unchecked– not our personal freedoms, not the power of the government, not capitalism, not even our freedom of speech.  The needs and wants of a few were not supposed to supersede the will of the masses. However, with such filtered funnels of information reaching people very differently, and people deciding, perhaps unconsciously, to remain in their echo chambers – on both sides – each side believes they are the majority, that they are “right.” Some are trying desperately to keep things as they are because it is benefiting them, while others are fighting for change to swing the pendulum of momentum the other way.  Our country is a powder keg.

With freedom, comes great responsibility – According to Ken Wilbur, 1% of the world population is operating in egocentrism. This is not “Thee” 1%, though you could certainly identify egocentrism among thee 1%, and with their wealth comes the power to manipulate the world to accommodate their desires, at a cost to whomever.

70% world operates in ethnocentrism, looking out for people who they consider to be “like” them somehow. The risks of ethnocentrism are scarcity vs. shared resources, which turns into wars and destruction of resources, much like a contentious divorce that decimates a family’s current and generational wealth, and the ones who lose the most are the kids – future generations.

This is (all) purely my opinion, but the world I want for my kids, my grandkids, and my great-grandkids is a world where people have compassion and care for one another – where they recognize that we are divinely kindred. One love. One heart.

On his podcast recently, Christopher King asked me with whom I was looking to connect, and I said anyone who wants to make the world a better place and who has an open mind; I am very skeptical of people who insist they have it right.

Without having run these topics through a rigorous consciousness screening process, I truly have no way of knowing what is in the highest good. I have my opinion based on my life experience, what I’ve learned from trusted authority figures in my life, and un-trusted authority figures in my life.  I know there is data, a lot more in the past 20 years of advances in capture and computation, and still, there is translation and dissention. There are still bound to be outliers and unintended consequences and unpredictable factors.

I am also very skeptical of religions and religious ideas that have little to do with the highest good here on Earth. A God wanting a chosen few to thrive while the majority suffer is in direct conflict with my beliefs. That is why identifying what is in the highest good aligns with what I believe will create a better world.

Yet, I do not want to surround myself with people who agree with me, who share my opinions, or who have the same life experiences as me (though we all thrive more when we aren’t psychologically isolated and know others relate to us – so, yes, I want those people, too.) I want to surround myself with people who are open to being wrong, who are in pursuit of truth, and yet who recognize that truth itself often evolves.

The quintessential growth (vs. fixed) mindset.

Before we influence, as conscious leaders, we must do or, better yet, delegate (to remove personal bias), due diligence to ensure the decisions we influence will have the highest good outcomes. Also, no one is apt to be influenced by someone who believes they are elite.

What if we could really determine what is in the highest good in regards to the issues that divide us (the “United” States) most? And what if we could mitigate the impacts on populations who are sure to suffer in some way because of change?

What if we could come to a greater consensus about the topics that divide us most:

  • Gun control
  • Abortion
  • Universal healthcare
  • Immigration
  • Free and fair elections
  • Pandemic response
  • Civil Rights
  • Foreign relations
  • Government assistance
  • Church and state
  • Abuse of power/Corruption
  • Global warming
  • Non-renewable resources
  • Gender identity

Guess what! We can! There are members of the C3 community who I will be calling forth to provide input on my Conscious Decision Protocol, a process that I tested with remarkable results (only on a small scale so far) that can be applied to personal, community, corporate, and government decisions. If you want to be a part of these kinds of developments, join the C3 community now.

And, if these are decisions run through a conscious decision protocol and show that a particular pathway is in the highest good, will that reunite us? Not necessarily.

We will only reunite if we are not shielded from the findings and if there is a trusted free press that is accessible and visible to us.  There are less biased media to consult and compare to the biased media on both sides, especially before becoming so staunch that we feed our anger. We can all get better at recognizing fact from opinion and opinion from propaganda.

I see our anger and fears being weaponized, benefiting nefarious world forces who have wanted for centuries to see our country and our freedom fall.

United we stand; divided we fall, right?

I’m working on not vilifying people who are different-minded every day.  I’m not perfect, but I’m getting better at recognizing when I’m tempted to do this and refraining.

We cannot unify while we vilify. Contest ideas, not your fellow countrymen and women, and especially not your family!  Remember that people are more complex and there are spectrums on all of these issues. The people in your life and those you love are likely to fall on opposite sides of one or more of these issues.

I will not protest this 4th of July, though I have a lot of strong opinions about many recent events. I am aware these are my opinions. I am aware my opinions are filtered through the lens of my experiences, education, and authority figures in my life.  I am aware that I, like everyone else, have blind spots – I don’t know what I don’t know, and that’s most of what there is to know.  Conscious leaders prevent themselves from becoming elitists.

I will pray for my country and hold the intention that we will open the doors to civil discussions and each other, and commit to doing what is best for the majority, or we will surely meet our demise.

I spent time this holiday weekend blocks from where the Declaration of Independence and wondered who will be the founding fathers and mothers of a country that does the highest good for its people, for future generations, and for the world.

Want to join in the effort to co-create a more conscious world? Join C3 now.

 

Simon & Garfunkel – America (from The Concert in Central Park)

“America” by Simon & Garfunkel from The Concert in Central ParkListen to Simon & Garfunkel: https://SimonAndGarfunkel.lnk.to/listenYDSubscribe to the officia…

Karen Huller, CEO of Epic Careering, is the co-founder of The Consciousness Conference (ConCon) and the C3: Corporate Consciousness Co-op community on LinkedIn. She is the creator of the Corporate Consciousness Ripple Blueprint and author of Laser-sharp Career Focus: Pinpoint your Purpose and Passion in 30 Days. She founded Epic Careering, a conscious career and leadership development firm specializing in executive branding, talent-values alignment, and conscious culture, in 2006. 

While the bulk of Mrs. Huller’s 20 years of professional experience has been within the recruiting and employment industry, her publications, presentations, and coaching also draw from experience in personal development, performance, broadcasting, marketing, and sales. Her solutions incorporate breakthroughs in neuroscience, human performance optimization, bioenergetics, and psychology to help leaders accelerate rapport, expand influence, and elevate engagement and productivity while also looking out for the sustainability of the business and the planet.

Mrs. Huller was one of the first LinkedIn trainers and is known widely for her ability to identify and develop new trends. She is a Certified Professional Résumé Writer, Certified Career Transition Consultant, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with a Bachelor of Art in Communication Studies and Theater from Ursinus College and a minor in Creative Writing. Her blog was recognized as a top 100 career blog worldwide by Feedspot. 

Mrs. Huller was an Adjunct Professor in Cabrini University’s Communications Department and an Adjunct Professor of Career Management and Professional Development at Drexel University’s LeBow College of Business. As an instructor for the Young Entrepreneurs Academy, she has helped two of her students win the 2018 National Competition to be named America’s Next Top Young Entrepreneurs, to win the 2019 People’s Choice Award, and to land in the top 8 during the (virtual) 2020 National Competition.

She serves on the board for the Upper Merion Community Center, which she helped establish, and is an advisor to Florida International University for their Women in Leadership program. For her service as Vice President of the Gulph Elementary PTC, she received recognition as a Public Education Partner and Promoter from the Upper Merion Area Education Association. Mrs. Huller has also been the lead singer for Harpers Ferry, a rock cover band, for 20 years. She lives in King of Prussia, PA with her husband, two daughters, and many pets, furry, feathered, and scaly.

Empowering People – Answer the Call to Conscious Leadership

Happy 2nd Anniversary, C3!

Answer the Call to Conscious Leadership June 2022 – Empowering People, A 2nd Anniversary edition

I was attending my eldest’s academic awards ceremony this month, so I personally was not in attendance, but I had every confidence (zero trepidation, Lawrence) that my partner, Lawrence Henderson, was going to facilitate deep, meaningful insights from our panelists Dina Kelly, Senior Vice President of Sales and Marketing at American House Senior Living Communities, and Dr. Shané (“Doc Shané”) Teran, Executive Coach, Licensed Therapist, and Org Health Consultant from SP Consulting Group, LLC. I am appreciative that he did so that I could be present to my daughter to celebrate her hard work, though, in watching the replay, I wish I had been able to be there, too, especially because I just realized that this June event marks the 2nd anniversary of the C3 community and these Answer the Call to Conscious Leadership events!

We had attendees from Charlotte, Detroit, Atlanta, Baltimore, Philadelphia, and Delaware, while Dina attended from Nashville and Dr. Shané from Los Angeles.

Both panelists started out with massive wisdom bombs, Dr. Shané sharing, “Whatever is going on for you personally is going to affect you professionally.”

Dina defined empowerment as leadership that is about bringing up other leaders with you and helping them become autonomous. Let them make some moves on their own, even if you disagree, and let them prove you wrong.

The hour just continued to add immense value. Watch the replay in C3 now to find out what our empowerment powerhouse panelists said about the following:

  • What does empowering people even mean?
  • What makes a person feel empowered?
  • How do we get people to move in a direction where they start communicating their needs?
  • What is the conditioning that prevents people from building a trusting relationship with leaders?
  • How can you help people who are set in their ways evolve past this conditioning?
  • How do you decode and recode leaders to reach new levels of success?
  • How did the paradigm of “promote and try to replicate technical experts” hurt progress overall?
  • How do you make it so that every element of a business is being tended to with care?
  • How do you recognize when you are no longer evolving?
  • What must be overcome in an individual to not feel like they are giving something up by offering someone else the credit, the spotlight, the responsibility, the power?
  • How do you integrate empowerment into the employee journey starting with hiring and onboarding, especially with leaders to whom leadership does not come naturally?
  • What is the one thing that you can do today to start practicing empowering yourself?

As we move into our 3rd year, we want to continue adding people to the community who are out there making a real difference in conscious leadership and are committed to co-creating a more conscious corporate landscape.

Who do you know who would benefit from hearing or having these conversations? Whose example do you think would inspire us all and deserves to be promoted? Share this QR code and invite them to request membership today:

See you next month, though let us know if there is a topic you want to C3 to cover, we can and will help you make it happen in between our monthly events if the topic is not chosen by the C3 community for our next event.

SNAP! – The Power (Official Video)

Official music video for the 1990’s hit “The Power” by SNAP!Listen to 30 Years of SNAP! here: http://snapofficial.lnk.to/30-► LISTEN TO SNAP!On Spotify: http…

Karen Huller, CEO of Epic Careering, is the co-founder of The Consciousness Conference (ConCon) and the C3: Corporate Consciousness Co-op community on LinkedIn. She is the creator of the Corporate Consciousness Ripple Blueprint and author of Laser-sharp Career Focus: Pinpoint your Purpose and Passion in 30 Days. She founded Epic Careering, a conscious career and leadership development firm specializing in executive branding, talent-values alignment, and conscious culture, in 2006. 

While the bulk of Mrs. Huller’s 20 years of professional experience has been within the recruiting and employment industry, her publications, presentations, and coaching also draw from experience in personal development, performance, broadcasting, marketing, and sales. Her solutions incorporate breakthroughs in neuroscience, human performance optimization, bioenergetics, and psychology to help leaders accelerate rapport, expand influence, and elevate engagement and productivity while also looking out for the sustainability of the business and the planet.

Mrs. Huller was one of the first LinkedIn trainers and is known widely for her ability to identify and develop new trends. She is a Certified Professional Résumé Writer, Certified Career Transition Consultant, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with a Bachelor of Art in Communication Studies and Theater from Ursinus College and a minor in Creative Writing. Her blog was recognized as a top 100 career blog worldwide by Feedspot. 

Mrs. Huller was an Adjunct Professor in Cabrini University’s Communications Department and an Adjunct Professor of Career Management and Professional Development at Drexel University’s LeBow College of Business. As an instructor for the Young Entrepreneurs Academy, she has helped two of her students win the 2018 National Competition to be named America’s Next Top Young Entrepreneurs, to win the 2019 People’s Choice Award, and to land in the top 8 during the (virtual) 2020 National Competition.

She serves on the board for the Upper Merion Community Center, which she helped establish, and is an advisor to Florida International University for their Women in Leadership program. For her service as Vice President of the Gulph Elementary PTC, she received recognition as a Public Education Partner and Promoter from the Upper Merion Area Education Association. Mrs. Huller has also been the lead singer for Harpers Ferry, a rock cover band, for 20 years. She lives in King of Prussia, PA with her husband, two daughters, and many pets, furry, feathered, and scaly.

Stefano Mini’s Epic Career Tale

Listen to Stefano Mini’s Epic Career Tale

Stefano Mini befuddled his family and countrymen and women by choosing to master eCommerce at a time when the internet wasn’t very prevalent in Italy. As with many success stories, this didn’t happen overnight, but within several years. Now Stefano has the freedom and flexibility he desires in his career.

The Last 2 of 7 Methods of Overcoming Self-Limiting Beliefs

Broken Wall by Mike Kruger of Flickr

 

Have you taken the 7-day challenge to identify who is REALLY in control of your career decisions?

Have you tried any of the first 5 methods I shared to overcome self-limiting beliefs?

I would be very interested in hearing if you did, what results you found, and if you have found one that works best for you.

This week I will share two more, but this list is by no means exhaustive. I have learned over 30 methods in the past nine years.

These last two are the methods I learned most recently, and they are extremely powerful. You will have to be brave to try them, and have a strong imagination. You may feel silly, but until you try it, you have no idea how much you had to release, nor how light and free you can feel by releasing it. The point is to make room for new, better things to happen in your life.

 

Re-parenting Yourself

As much as our parents loved us and had good intentions to raise us well, they are human. They come to the parenting job with their own “baggage.” By baggage, I mean belief systems that may have been limiting their own potential. Their world continually proves their beliefs right, and so it is hard to recognize that the belief started with a story, not a fact or a truth. They then pass it on to you, in hopes of saving you from pain, suffering, and disappointment.

Then, of course, now that we are adults, we are more aware of the pressure and stress that comes along with being an adult, and how that can impact our ability to be our highest self, to cope with the needs of others, and to respond instead of react. We do not always say what we mean, and we do not always speak from the heart. Actually, we can be downright hurtful, and in those moments can wound others, just as others wounded us. As I have heard, “Hurt people hurt people,” or, “Those who cause suffering are suffering.”

The way to stop this cycle is to heal your wounds and be the parent to your younger self that you wish your parents could have been for you.

The exercise goes as follows:

  1. First, know what you want to heal. Pick a limiting belief.
  2. Get into your highest self. While sitting, allow source energy to enter your vibration by being mindful of your breath, moving deeply in and out.
  3. Imagine a column of light coming from above entering through the crown of your head while also imagining your body as a conductor of light and energy, sending it down your chakras through your feet into the earth, where deep within it hits a mirror and bounces back up through you, up through your chakras, and back up.
  4. Feel all of your cells humming with the vibration of pure love.
  5. Go to a mirror and look into your left eye, imagining it is the eye of your younger self.
  6. Ask your younger self to tell you what happened – why you started to believe in limits.
  7. ALLOW the pain to surface – DO NOT stifle it. Keep breathing!
  8. Spend 90 seconds fully embracing the pain, breathing through it, looking into your left eye, and empathizing with your younger self.
  9. Breathe until you have shed all signs of the pain from your body, and the child in your eye shows you relief.
  10. Then tell your little one what he or she needs to hear – words of encouragement, unconditional love, the truth of how infinite you are, how powerful you are, and how deserving you are.
  11. Reassure your younger self that all will be okay, that you are there for him or her, and always will be.

Yes, you may feel silly doing this at first, but I am really excited to hear if you felt as I did – lighter, healed, open, expansive, and ready to take on anything! Send me a private message if you care to, but if you are brave enough to share, please do.

 

Sending Monster-sized Love

My first official coach, the one who helped me plan and follow the path to being a coach from my recruiting days, was the first person who shared with me that we have “gremlins.” Gremlins are our inner critics, the voiced that tend to speak up and discourage us from playing big in our life. Gremlins are the spokesmonsters of our limiting beliefs. They represent our fears and insecurities. You may have also heard them referred to as demons or glitches, as though you have a bug in your system that needs fixing.

In this method, you will repeat steps 1 through 4 from above. Then, follow the steps below. Like the method above, you will need to be brave and use your imagination. The objective is to disempower the gremlin, befriend it, and see it for what it really is while you see yourself for what you really are – infinitely powerful.

  1. Close your eyes and imagine there is a knock at your door.
  2. When you open your door, you see a monster, and this monster represents the thing that you fear, hate, resent – the thing you feel holds you back. It could be money, it could be career success, or it could be love.
  3. It is trying its best to scare you – showing you teeth and claws, making scary sounds, and seeming very angry. Don’t let it. Invite it inside to sit down.
  4. As before, focus on your breath, but also check in on your heartbeat, temperature, and muscle tension.
  5. While looking this monster in the eye, mentally manipulate your breath to be slow and deep, will your heartbeat to slow down and release all tension in your muscles.
  6. Reconnect with the light flowing through your cells, imagining a ball of light and love forming in front of your heart.
  7. Physically hold your hands around this imaginary ball in front of your heart. You may even slowly and slightly move your hands together and apart until you sense the energy of the ball.
  8. Draw even more light and love in to your body, filling all of your cells to overflow into the ball.
  9. When it feels full, send the ball to your monster and notice the surprise on your monster’s face. You can sense that it is starting to give up trying to scare you and is feeling love, while at the same time you are feeling happy to be with your monster, spending time getting to know each other.
  10. Imagine now how your monster feels, and empathize with how long your monster went without feeling love.
  11. If your monster could talk, what would it tell you?
  12. Reassure your monster that from now on, you are on the same team.
  13. Allow yourself to feel proud for confronting and converting your monster.

My coach had shared that she had her clients blow up balloons and draw their monster on it. Then they would yell at the balloon, tell it who was boss, and pop it. I once fell into an arrow on the soft part of my neck to break the arrow that represented a self-limiting belief of unworthiness. I have also burned the list of 20 self-limiting money beliefs that I had about money during a full moon ceremony.

 

There are a lot of things that you can do to break through barriers to a better life, and taking action to do so is almost always rewarded somehow.

Not all of these methods may resonate with you. Some are certainly more scientific, while some are more cognitive or spiritual.

I am indifferent as to which methods you try, but I encourage you to try at least one, and share with me what difference it made to you.

 

5 of 7 Methods of Overcoming Self-Limiting Beliefs for Career Breakthrough, Part 2

Stella 4 by Abir Anwar of Flickr

 

Don’t be too surprised to discover that there have been deep-seeded beliefs that have been making decisions for you. This is a blessing and a curse of our brain. The most important thing to realize is if these beliefs are serving our optimal growth or inhibiting it.

I shared 20 limiting beliefs that I discovered about money, wealth, abundance and worthiness. This was critical for me to uncover, because while I had a record year last year and feel I turned a corner in my business that will enable me to bring game-changing solutions into the world, I would have already liked to have these solutions into the hands of the people who need them to move forward in their career. Then they would already be making a bigger, more meaningful difference to the people they lead and the causes they move forward.

I also shared 3 of 7 methods I have learned from mentors, coaches, and even healers from over the past nine years to overcome limiting beliefs that direct our actions and become habits that run on autopilot unless we interrupt and replace them. We might as well start there:

 

Interrupt, replace, reinforce

Like a couple of the methods I shared last week, Dr. David Bach’s simple yet effective method incorporates the mind-body connection, but starts first with an awareness and manipulation of your physiology, rather than your mindset. His objective is to help us stay in the “zone,” or “flow” of high performance consistently, but it will start very gradually as you practice and become more mindful, building good habits as you go.

As his first volunteer, I was skeptical that I would find it so easy. I came to an event where he was speaking in a state of frustration and disappointment with me. At the time my daughters were three and four, and had tested my patience prior to leaving, making me late, which always makes me frazzled. My patience failed. I absolutely hate leaving my girls on bad terms. I was less interested in how to be a business superstar, and more concerned about being a nurturing, patient mom who did not inadvertently instill limiting beliefs in my daughters (though I feel at some level I am bound to – I already teach many of these methods to them).

He had me come up and reenact what I was like when I was the “ugly” mom, as I called it. There, in front of mostly strangers, I had to reveal how I am that makes me the most ashamed. For the sake of my daughters, and science, I bent over at the waist, pretending my knee and thigh high daughters were standing in front of me. My lips pursed, my eyebrows narrowed toward my nose, my pointer finger shook, and with a raised voice I asked a common question, “How many times do I have to tell you to do XYZ before you actually do it?!” I looked up at the 45-50 or so people there to find that they were looking at me just as my daughters do, a bit frozen and afraid. Face flushed and hoping for some mercy, I was very anxious to put an end to this horrifying display and be told the solution. First, he pointed out my body language, how I was standing, and my closed off, jerky movement. Then he asked everyone to notice my strenuous facial expression and tone of voice.

Then he had me reenact what I’m like when I am in the flow with my daughters. I had to remember a time when I felt like I was “winning” at parenting. Sadly, I realized that these moments were few and far between. I did recall, however, a time in the past week when I figured out how to inspire my girls to cooperate and complete a task joyfully by turning it into a game. I stood up straight, even leaning slightly back, I was talking with a smile, and my eyes, also smiling, were wide with excitement as I explained the rules of the game, as well as the prize, in a higher pitched, but softer voice. Again, he pointed out my body language, facial expression and tone. It was the same posture that I tend to embody when I am speaking, singing, or teaching – tasks that I enjoy and when I feel most in the flow.

For one last demonstration, he asked me to ask the same question of my daughters, with the same tone of voice, but while I was maintaining the body language and facial expression of the second reenactment. It made me giggle. It felt so unnatural. He pointed out that it was impossible to be both at the same time. I have since learned from other teachers that you cannot be in a positive state of mind and at the same time be in a negative state of mind. You can switch back and forth, but this is why when you are scared, if you think of something that makes you happy, the fear disappears, at least temporarily while you hold the happy thought.

So his technique is to notice and manipulate your physicality to mimic the same physicality you embody when you are in the flow, every time you notice you are not in the flow. Just like any new habit, it will take repetition to reinforce, and you may find it harder to practice under times of stress. You may even choose NOT to practice at times. Be forgiving of yourself, as feeling bad about relapses does not at all contribute to improvement in any way, but forgiving yourself (and others) has been scientifically proven to improve your body and mind chemistry.

The point is to gradually increase your awareness and practice until it becomes automatic. New habits will seem impossible at first, as your brain resists change, and there will be a stage where you will question your desire to continue, even as you start to see benefits. If you persist, however, you will eventually reach a stage where it just feels natural, and you no longer have to work to perform your habit. Hal Elrod broke habit forming into three stages – unbearable, uncomfortable, and unstoppable.

If you have anxiety or depression, while this is not a cure by any means, it is an exercise that will help minimize the secondary and tertiary physical repercussions of those conditions.

 

Timeline Therapy

If you identified beliefs, but have struggled to remember the moments and events that generated them, or you remember the moments, but they cause you great grief, trauma, or fear, you will want to find a certified or licensed practitioner of this approach (I am not, yet). There have even been successes using this method to alleviate and eliminate allergies.

Like I shared last week, many human performance optimization professionals insist that you have to confront the source of pain before you can really move forward and create a new future. Timeline therapy is like mental laser surgery where, while in a trance state, you float backward through your timeline to hone in on those moments you may have buried or find hard to confront to reframe the event and create a new belief that services your highest good.

Again, you will want to engage a licensed professional, especially if these moments are traumatic. Be under someone’s care. I will just outline some of the steps involved in timeline therapy.

  1. Close your eyes and, with eyes closed, look up slightly (this induces an alpha brain wave state)
  2. Take a deep breath in; without breath, visualize 3 three times; Repeat with 2, then 1
  3. Count down from X to 1 (depending on your experience with meditation)
  4. Without analyzing, imagine you are flying above your timeline and you have located the moment this anomaly was born
  5. Move to the time 15-minutes before it happened
  6. Think of three OTHER possible meanings or causes this event could have
  7. Choose one that serves you best and drop it, as if you are downloading it, into the timeline in place of the event that caused the anomaly
  8. TEST: Does this anomaly still resonate as true?

 

Next week I will share the two final methods of this series, but this is by no means an exhaustive list. In fact, I have a list of 30+ different exercises, some of which are meant to activate the Law of Attraction, though all are intended to help you achieve breakthroughs in your performance and results. I will eventually share them all, and I am currently deciding if I will share these in a second 30-day transformation e-book, if I will include them in a 30-day or 3-month online group course, or if I will hold local live events and focus on one method per event. I may wind up doing a combination. If this interests you, please share which venue you prefer.  Also share if you try any of these methods and your results or lack thereof.

 

Redefine Your Definition of Freedom

Peace Doves Alice by Popkorn of Flickr

Peace Doves Alice by Popkorn of Flickr

 

If you subscribe to enough newsletters by business coaches or perform enough Google searches on residual income, you will be bombarded by gurus selling the idea of products promising that financial freedom can be yours.

You know the ones…

“For 3 easy payments of $997, you, too, can achieve financial freedom.”

What an uninspired vision.

Do not get me wrong. I would love to be at the point in my life where an income was optional. Nevertheless, does financial freedom equal freedom?

The idea of being financially free sounds so ethereal, so evasive, like such a pipedream, but I’ve found that for every appealing fantasy, there are an equal amount of reservations of living with unlimited income:

Would friends and family presume you were somehow different and “too good” now?

How many people would come out of the woodwork with their hand out?

What kinds of new family drama might ensue because of this windfall?

Would it turn you into a miserable recluse afraid to trust anyone?

What if you could not walk the streets without feeling like a target for pickpockets or even more unsavory characters?

What if the success you achieve just adds to the pressure of living up to expectations you cannot possibly uphold?

 

Does that sound like freedom to you? Even the thoughts themselves serve as shackles.

If we are ever able to get our imaginations to stretch far enough to imagine ourselves without financial worry, a whole new set of worries tend to creep into our thoughts.

But what if we were free from those fears?  What if, no matter what our current financial situation was, we felt secure in our faith that all would be taken care of?

I honestly do not know that many people who possess and practice that level of faith, but let me be crystal clear – surrendering your fate to a higher power is still not freedom.

I don’t mean to say that you can sit back, relax, do nothing, and great things will come to you.  As a matter of fact, I mean the opposite.

I have shared with you before how the word “can’t” is forbidden in my house.  Not only is it forbidden, but it’s not even acknowledged as a thing: “There is no ‘can’t.’ Only ‘I don’t know how yet. ‘”

The concept of freedom that I want you to entertain and try is one in which anything you could want to do is possible – a world without limits. Limits have a tendency to stop us before we even reach them. Or, we let other people who have not even tried to reach them tell us that they are there and we take their word for it. That is certainly not freedom.

I did not write this article to define freedom for you; I wrote it because I want to encourage you to reevaluate your own definition of freedom and furthermore, assess how much effort you have really made to achieve it.

Do not give up on freedom. Do not assume it is not possible for you. Do not decide that there is nothing really all that fantastic about it, or you know right away that you have not discovered an empowering vision of freedom, and therefore it is not really freedom at all.

Here is my empowering vision of freedom:

I wake up every day certain about how I can be my highest self and what actions I can take to fulfill my highest purpose. I let my intuition guide me and trust unwaveringly that as long as I follow it, everything will turn out exactly as it should. I speak from a place of love, compassion and acceptance. Each moment is infused with joy and fun. I expect and therefore notice when something or someone has been put in my path to help me, and I openly receive this assistance. I go to bed each night knowing, with great peace, that I have done everything that was in my power to do, and tomorrow I will be even better.

 

What is your empowering vision of freedom?