Archives for beliefs

Are You Impacted by the #1 Cause of Suffering?

Part 9 in the MindValley Reunion=Mind Blown series, which continues next week


After years of personal development study and practice, I was amazed that I could be made aware of a truth so obvious, and so fundamental, yet never realized its prevalence and the vast impacts that it has on so many lives. It is why Marisa Peer is the most quoted expert in Vishen Lakhiani’s book, Code of the Extraordinary Mind, and among my blogs.

There is a reoccurring automatic thought (some experts call them ANTs – Automatic Negative Thoughts) that many other thoughts can be traced back to. And if you have felt as though you have fallen short of your personal goals, or that your life is not living up to a par you have established, even if by most standards your life is good, this is often the thought responsible for that feeling.

As a world-renowned hypnotherapist who has worked with youth and the destitute as well as the rich, famous, and even royal, Marisa has seen this thought play out in so much needless suffering. This thought causes marriages to fail. It causes emptiness even when resources are full. It causes people to hurt others. It causes suicide. It causes addiction.

This thought is, “I am not good enough.”

Can you see anywhere in your life where this thought, which by now is most likely a belief, impacts your decisions, which impacts your results?

Have you ever shied away from speaking with someone? Have you ever decided a goal was “too big?” Have you pushed love or friendship away because you felt at some point it would go awry?

When you look in the mirror, what is your internal dialogue? When you see someone with an outfit, haircut, or career you admire, does it make you feel good, or worse?

If you are reaching for really big goals, why? Are you doing it for you? Are you hoping that by achieving big goals you will feel like you are doing enough? Are you hoping that it will make someone proud, perhaps someone who never seems fully satisfied with your efforts?

When you do experience success, do you feel ease or do you feel something else – anxiety, pressure, fear?

A couple other common pervasive and limiting beliefs are “It’s not available to me” and “I am different, so I cannot connect.”

Really take a look at this, because converting these thoughts and beliefs into positive supporting thoughts and beliefs will change your life for the better.

Here is a simple pattern that we can observe easily:

A thought, especially one that is reinforced with evidence or one that recurs, becomes a belief. Beliefs drive our decisions, which become our actions or inactions. These actions or inactions become our results.

Neuroscience has helped us understand better how our brain operates, and how neural pathways are formed that make certain things automatic, and they become habits. Habits are behaviors that we don’t think much about – we just do them. This is supposed to be helpful to our survival, except that this is how bad habits are formed.

Chances are that if you have identified this thought at work in your life, it has been at work for a very long time – since you were a child.

The traditional treatment for this is therapy. Marisa points out, however, that it is still highly inefficient and based on the fact that some people spend years in therapy without vast transformation in their lives.

Newer discoveries in neuroscience have found that we are more capable of changing our brains than once believed, and that it doesn’t have to take years to do it, and to see results from it. Hypnosis has been scientifically proven to be effective in accelerated, even instant, resolution of bad habits.

Marisa has been working with some of the top neuroscientists to develop a program called Rapid Transformational Therapy, and at the MindValley Reunion in San Diego in August, she brought us through 4 of the 7 modules of this program, which is based on practical neuroscience and teaches you to be your OWN healer.

If you have ever tried to change before, you know how hard it is, and this is also thanks to our brain and its tendency to want to protect us. When anomalies in patterns or our environment occur, our brain naturally fires synapses and releases hormones that we experience as unease or even anxiety – our heart rate increases, our breathing gets short, our muscles tense up, our palms may sweat. This can feel uncomfortable, and depending on the level, can even feel painful. If we do nothing to intervene with these responses, we will naturally be inclined to avoid things that create these responses. We may even use our logical brains to validate our need to avoid them.

By becoming mindful, we can choose to be more conscious than subconscious about our reaction. We can ask questions that our mind will naturally answer, such as, “Is my life being threatened?” We can also manipulate our physical response by choosing a slower breath and relaxing our muscles. If we can make this a practice, we can create new responses to change, and even associate positive change with good feelings, and release dopamine instead of cortisol, which will make us crave change and the good feelings we have started to generate. The thing is, this practice still takes significant time.

What Marisa has done is leveraged what we understand now about the brain to build neural pathways in ONE short session.

Here is the GREAT news > Right now MindValley Academy is offering a FREE 30-minute Masterclass so that you can experience this for yourself! I have no idea how long this will be offered, so do not hesitate to sign up now!

 

In the meantime, if you feel brave and see how it can serve others, share with us in the comments what you discovered about how these common thoughts and beliefs have impacted your life.

P!nk – Don’t Let Me Get Me

P!nk’s official music video for ‘Don’t Let Me Get Me’. Click to listen to P!nk on Spotify: http://smarturl.it/PSpot?IQid=PLMGM As featured on Greatest Hits…So Far!!!.

Step 2 to Career Happiness

Happiness by Goutier Rodrigues of Flickr

 

Some people grow up believing that they can do anything. Some people have parents that reinforce this belief. When you grow up under these conditions, you develop a very friendly perception of the world. You perceive very few limits and are attuned to identifying and leveraging resources to achieve goals. You are apt to try things that other people would never attempt, simply because you have an ingrown faith that success is inevitable.

Many would consider you blessed, even charmed, and they may be resentful. Just as it is hard for them to understand why you are so lucky, it can be more difficult for you to empathize with people who suffer from career and financial shortcomings. To you, it looks like a choice.

You are not wrong, however the choice is not a conscious one.

We all run on programming that we developed at critical, impressionable stages growing up. Even two people growing up in the same household can develop very different beliefs with a different meaning they ascribe to the same event.

Last week, my challenge to those who identify a recurring, automatic belief that success is for others was to imagine yourself in your current circumstances, but in the flow. The flow is a state of being in which you feel that just by being your fabulous, highest self, things are working out perfectly.

Perhaps your commute to work has green lights all the way. There is a parking spot right up close. Nobody comes to talk to you for 15 minutes while you evaluate and plan out your day. The meeting you dreaded has been rescheduled. That person you’ve been trying to reach has returned your message. The challenge that you were working through last week has a viable solution. The week you requested off has been approved. The project you and your team successfully completed has received high accolades and has been noticed by key players in your organization. Your boss now wants to talk to you about growth opportunities. Everyone you speak with is picking up on your positive vibes and returning them with friendly gestures and offers to help. You end your day having satisfied your list of tasks, and even made headway on some strategic initiatives that will help you gain even more visibility and credibility. On your commute home, your favorite song comes on the radio, and you sing like no one is watching, even though they are. You get home to a peaceful, clean house or apartment and your favorite meal, courtesy of someone you love. After spending some time engaging in a favorite pastime, you excitedly take a look at your day ahead, and rest easy knowing everything is as it should be.

Have you ever had a day like this?

If not, or if it has been a while, the first step is visualizing your day to go exactly as you want it to.

Practice it every night and or morning for a week, and then start this new exercise:

Visualize your ideal day with the circumstances you perceive to be ideal.

Perhaps you no longer commute, and instead work from home or from anywhere. Perhaps instead of speaking with grumpy customers all day who complain about a poor product your company makes, you are onboard and supporting clients who love what your company has helped them do. Perhaps instead of having a boss who rarely offers support and guidance, you are working underneath one of the most brilliant minds in business and she invests an hour or two each week to coach you on how to get to the next level. Maybe instead of following someone else’s rules that do not make any sense, you are architecting the best practices and standard operating procedures that are helping your organization run über efficiently and effectively.

Sometimes we think that we envy someone else’s situation, and then we put ourselves in it and realize there are things about their situation that we would not want.

I have a client who thought his ideal employers were in the city, which would have been an hour or longer commute every day, after running a company from home for many years. He took a job in the interim that was still a significant commute, but much shorter than the city. He realized in the first week of having that job, and not having seen his three-year-old for several days in a row, that working for those employers in the city would not have made him happy.

Now that he knows this, he has a greater peace and empowerment around his choices. He can more confidently invest his time and energy into a next step that will make him happy at home and at work.

His homework is the same as yours – once you have spent a week visualizing yourself in your current circumstances in the flow, spend a week visualizing ideal circumstances, from wake up time to sleep time.

The best time to do this is in the morning when your conscious and subconscious mind are still closely connected. You may also choose to do this as you go to bed, though sometimes I can get myself so excited that I do not sleep as well.

This exercise alone does not stop those recurring beliefs that success is for other people. You will still want to notice them, and when you do, go back into your visualization, but affirm for yourself that this is possible for you.

 

If that feat is very challenging, ask yourself why it isn’t possible for you.

Are these answers truth, or story?

 

3 of 7 Methods of Overcoming Self-Limiting Beliefs for Career Breakthrough

Breakthrough by 4rank of Flickr

Last week I challenged you to find out who’s really making decisions – is it you or your subconscious belief system?

If you found that like most people, including myself, somewhere in your past an event happened, and you made it mean that there are limits to how successful, happy, loved or wealthy you can be, I want to gift you some methods that you can experiment with to determine what is the most effective way for you to overturn and overcome the limits imposed by these beliefs.

Just so you know how much I can relate to you, I have identified 20 different beliefs about money and influence that have prevented me from achieving the growth goals I set for my business in its first 10 years. It was in my second year of business that I started becoming more aware of the influence of these beliefs.

  1. There is not enough to do what I want (but there was, I had to fight to get it)
  1. I am selfish if I want it
  1. I already have too much; I am a spoiled brat
  1. More for me means less for someone else
  1. I should not have more than bro/mom/dad
  1. Money is an exchange; I have to give something
  1. It is hard to earn
  1. I have to hunt it down
  1. I should not hold on to it; it goes to others before me
  1. It is not there when I need it
  1. It goes away; it does not last
  1. I should not be trusted with it
  1. I cannot have influence without it, and I resent that
  1. I need it to be included, yet I resent that
  1. I need it to create, and I resent that
  1. What I want is silly, wrong
  1. I should only want what I need and nothing more
  1. It is a weapon
  1. It causes problems/fighting
  1. It is not safe with me, or safe to have – it makes me a target

I have tried MANY methods over the last nine years. The key to my breakthrough, which finally began last year, has been consistency – as in, habit/ritual. I work to reinforce a healthful belief system several times a day now, though it started out as experimenting, then spurts/sprints, then I would only research and incorporate new practices when I was at a point of desperation, then I started doing a Miracle Morning and began to start my day every day with a routine that brings me into a state of peace, faith, intuition, and high performance. It feels so good now, and the results are so reinforcing, that I will take many moments throughout the day to recognize, appreciate, heal and strengthen a belief system more in support of my highest good and highest success.

Once you find something on this list works well for you, I encourage you to incorporate it into a morning ritual for 30 days. Keep a journal and record your thoughts, even your doubts, as well as results.

 

Visualization

Visualization is not synonymous with positive thinking, which many people have tried and found it failed them. The difference is that you are not replacing a negative thought with a positive thought. You may notice negative thoughts – doubts, skepticism, even cynicism – arise. Just let them float by like boats on the water. The point is to tap into your imagination to mentally experience the utmost outcome, and bring the full spectrum of emotions and senses into your experience. Learn to harness and apply this power to create a life by design, simply by creating a vision that excites you each waking day. It is much easier to be PULLED into doing what needs to be done, than to PUSH, or motivate yourself, to take action.

Studies show that your brain does not distinguish between a memory, a real event, or an imagined event. The more you can create a positive experience that releases feel-good chemicals, like dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin, the more addicted you will be to that positive experience, and the more you will be compelled to recreate that experience.

One shortcoming that some human performance coaches will point out about visualization is that the negative beliefs do not completely go away – there is pain associated with that belief and many believe that the pain, or the wound, needs to be healed before it truly disappears.

 

Hypnosis

If you think hypnosis is quackery, you would be ignoring science and history. Evidence of hypnosis was found in prehistoric days, and it was applied during the Civil War as pain relief for amputations and other painful procedures when medical pain relief resources were in short supply. Many people use it to successfully quit smoking, lose weight, relieve pain, sleep better or overcome crippling fears.

I personally and successfully used it to naturally give birth twice. With my first daughter, I endured five days of labor (my water did not break), complete with back labor, which was the most painful part, and finally delivered her without drugs, without tearing, and without intervention. In fact, we came home with her just hours after I delivered her. It also got me through breastfeeding complications.

While hypnosis may be the most expedient method of releasing and replacing belief systems that do not serve you, it may not be instant. In many cases these belief systems have layers upon layers, and reinforcement is necessary. The self-study course that I took, Hypnobabies, was a six-week long course that I actually continued with for the rest of my pregnancy, so another six months.

I was so impressed by hypnosis, in fact, that I have entertained becoming certified myself to help my clients achieve even greater levels of success.

There is a fee associated with hiring a hypnotist, and there are also free hypnosis tracks on YouTube. You may find that it is more effective to be in the serene setting of a professional’s office, putting your mental welfare into the hands of a professional, or you may opt to start where you are most comfortable, at home.

 

Peace Process/Instant Miracle/The Sedona Method

Different variations of this have been used by various teachers throughout my journey, but I will give you the basics. Theses methods are based on the mind-body connection brought into mainstream awareness by Deepak Chopra, then Wayne Dyer, in the 80s through the new millennium, but it was “discovered” centuries ago and has been the primary way to treat maladies in eastern medicine. Basically, you can recognize that your emotions cause a physical reaction in your body, and more prominent, traumatic or prolonged emotions will tend to cause a sensation that may manifest as pain or discomfort in a particular part of your body.

  • Think about the stimulus that causes anxiety, stress, depression, etc. For job seekers, it could be interviewing, networking, the change of landing a new job itself, or asking for a better compensation package.
  • Close your eyes to block out visual stimulus and be present to sensations in your body.
  • Where does your body experience this emotion?
  • On a 1-10 scale, how do you rate the sensation?
  • Get fully in touch with the sensations there for 90 seconds – allow yourself to feel them, without any suppression.
  • Send it love and acceptance while breathing in deeply with mouth closed and breathing out sharply and forcefully with mouth open, pursed lips.
  • Repeat until the sensation rates 0 (absent) on the scale.

 

These are just three of the many methods I can share, and I will cover four more next week, but this is a good start. I encourage you to start tomorrow – the sooner you start to defeat these defeatist thoughts that lead to defeatist action (or non-action), the sooner you can start to craft a life by design.

Please share any revelations or results that you experience.