I don’t know if I like April anymore. At all. Two years ago after the passing of my nephew on his 28th birthday, I urged you to take immediate action to make yourself happier and more fulfilled in the 40 hours you spend at work.
This week a 22-year-old and a 41-year-old were buried on the same day. While their short lives were celebrated, and we all are grateful for every second we were able to spend with them, we feel robbed. We have been robbed of future encounters, future moments, and future embraces. They have been robbed of all future possibilities. Everything we wanted for their future can no longer happen.
The day after these two young souls were buried, I learned that a friend has been suffering silently in a successful job. She is paid very well and her family depends on this income to maintain the standard of living that is important to them. Their kids are in one of the best school districts. She has been promoted. However, she is not inspired by her company’s mission, and because of her hours and commute, she has handed many of her “mommy” duties to her husband, for which she suffers much guilt. (I can, and most likely will, write a blog about the archaic corporate and societal expectations that are unfortunately alive and well and causing undue pressure for professional moms.)
She did not tell anyone how long she has been unhappy, and how much impact it was having on other areas of her life. She was embarrassed and bewildered by the fact that she did not have it all together. The discussion with her doctor to go on anti-anxiety and depression medication was surreal.
It felt silly to complain. She lives in a nice house in a great neighborhood. Her kids are actively involved in sports. She makes great money and she has a job for which many people vie. She thinks about how many people are not as fortunate as her, and then feels additional guilt for being unhappy.
She had been taking action to change her circumstances. She was applying to jobs and interviewing. It was time-consuming and heartbreaking. She would become excited about an opportunity only to learn that she was not offered the job. With little precious time to spend with her kids, she resigned herself to being stuck and unhappy.
Until yesterday…I hope.
In a 20-minute conversation with myself and another friend, we helped her create a new, inspiring vision for her future. At first she said she was not really sure what she even wanted to do. It turns out there is a mission for which she has a lot of passion. You see, she has learned quite a bit about how to brand yourself, to obtain buy-in, and to do more in less time as a woman in a male-dominated corporate world. Although her confidence is more than a bit shaky from the self-inflicted mental torture she has been enduring in silence, she knows that she can teach what she has learned, and it will make a huge difference for women striving to be seen, heard, noticed and rewarded equally. With her background, her chances of being successful in this new endeavor, whatever it happens to look like and whenever it happens to come to fruition, are very high.
She not only has created a vision that will pull her out of bed, but she has also created a new heart-centered possibility for her career. That vision will not only make her fulfilled in her work, but will also enable her to be the mom and wife that she wants to be. I am so excited for her and yet I’m still saddened by how long she had been suffering without my knowledge. I wish we had this conversation months ago, if not years ago.
If you see yourself in this story, please, please, please… ask me for help. This is why God put me on this earth (besides to have my beautiful children). It is why I sacrificed a handsome potential six-figure salary as a recruiter. It is why I don’t mind taking (some) time away from being a mommy to do career coaching and learning how to do it better. It is my passion and my gift.
Tomorrow doesn’t come for everyone. Live while you are alive. Change isn’t just possible; it is highly probable when you have me as your partner.
I expect to hear from you: Karen@epiccareering.com