Changing life experience

New Meanings to “Never Forget” 9/11 for Younger Generations…and Me

9-11 WTC Memorial

9/11 impacted me more this year than last, thanks to my students.

You might think that 18 years later the impact of an event like 9/11 would fade. Actually, I realized in reflection this year that the trajectory of my life shifted significantly because of that day.

As I was planning this semester’s coursework and assignments, I saw that I had class on 9/11, and I didn’t think much about it. Even the weekend before when I saw that 9/11 was Wednesday, I made what seemed like an insignificant mental note and refocused on my to-do list.

On most days my to-do list feels like a bunch of obligations I feel compelled to take care of, and the sense of responsibility outweighs pride and joy I might otherwise take in my to-dos.

Class starts with 10-15 minutes of a mindfulness and/or self-awareness journaling exercise. When I lined up each exercise with each class during the summer, I was mostly thinking of progression and pairing with class topics.

On my way to class that morning the DJs on the radio were recalling where they were when they heard the news. The female DJ shared that her mom woke her up that morning and told her to turn on the news. She was annoyed. But once she realized the severity of the situation, she felt awful for being annoyed by her mom calling.

She was in college at the time and went to class, because she didn’t know what else to do. She tried carrying on as though things were normal, but they were not. The professor told her to go home, call her mom. Then another student showed up and she told that student to do the same thing. “No one knows what to do right now.”

I had thought that I would let the day slide by without mentioning it, until I was on my way to class listening to the DJs recall their thoughts and emotions, forcing me to recall mine.

*****************************************************************

No one knew what this meant, if we would ever feel safe again, or if we were just watching the beginning of the end of life as we know it. We knew that civilians and first responders were dying in scary and awful ways.

Many of us thought about people we knew living or working in New York City, or those we knew were supposed to fly somewhere that day. My brother was flying to the west coast that day. I was frantic until I heard from him that his flight was grounded in Pittsburgh. I was at work.

I was a young professional, finally having found my path in recruiting, eager to get to the next level and interface with client and candidates. It was taking too long. I was starting to get bored. I was wishing for change, and asking for change, but I wasn’t doing much more about it, like looking for a different job.

I loved my boss and the other women in my office. I was sure I would eventually learn new skills from them if I stuck it out, but I was more excited by my lunch break run than by the work I was doing.

Then one seemingly average, beautiful day, a call came in. It was the managing director’s parents. I heard her voice sounding shocked. My first thought was that something terrible had happened to one of her parents, but then she came in shaking with tears in her eyes and told us that a plane just crashed into the World Trade Center, and they think it was on purpose.

I can hardly remember what happened next. I know that we had dropped everything to search for news online. I might have found a live stream. The managing director went out to buy a TV to bring it into the office.

I had been working on a call list of management consultants in the DC area at that moment. There was no chance I would be reaching anyone now.

I know I called my brother. I called my mom, dad, and boyfriend.

Another plane hit. We knew for certain now it was a terroristic attack. Fear and shock left us bewildered.

What do we do? What can we do?

By 11 AM we were told that we could go home if we wanted. I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t want to take my run in a national park. Who knew what kind of targets they had. Eventually, I went home and tried to process what was going on.

Returning to work felt strange. I had called candidates who were working on the exact floors where one plane hit. How could work ever seem important again for me or them?

There was a universal sentiment – what we thought was important may not be that important.Everyone thought twice about what they were doing with their time. Everyone assessed what was really most important in their lives.

Armed Forces enrollment spiked, as did people quitting their jobs, even in the midst of impending economical impacts of which we could not yet predict the severity.

*****************************************************************

By the time I got to campus, I was in tears struggling to compose myself. I thought for sure that I should make mention to my students of such a significant day in our country’s history, but also wondered how I could keep from ugly crying, which I felt like doing at the time.

As class begun, I assessed my composure and decided I would introduce that day’s journal exercise by talking about 9-11, and it wasn’t until I spoke that the synchronicity of the events, to me being there with them in that moment, and what I was dedicating my career to doing, and the journal entry clicked. And the tears came, but I didn’t fight them.

This particular day I challenged the students to think about Brules that they were following – BS rules made up by someone else about how to be successful and happy that aren’t authentic or in alignment with what would really make them successful and happy.

I told them how a good percentage of my clients come to me after or in the middle of successful careers because something is missing – some joy, some impact, some contribution that hasn’t made the time that they spent building their career as meaningful as they thought it was at one time. I urged them to make sure they were defining their own happiness and success. What they were learning would help them make sure that at any point in the future they can reinvent themselves and their definition of success.

These students were just kids when 9/11 happened. Some of them may have no memory of it because they were too small, and the older ones probably weren’t old enough to be told the truth of what had happened. Surely, at some point as they got older, they learned about these events from a 3rd party observational perspective.

Today, though, I wanted them to tune into that universal sentiment – If it all, life as we know it, our financial model, our sense of safety and responsibility, changed today, what would really be important for you to do with your time? What beliefs that you adopted from others could you let go of now and replace with what serves you and your own definitions of success and happiness?

My mission of making work a worthwhile way to spend time away from what’s really important was solidified by 9/11 the day and the aftermath – the recession, my layoff, my struggle to land meaningful work again, my realization that I no longer wanted to reject candidates, I wanted to help them.

*****************************************************************

Fast-forward four years…

I was only 27 when I started Epic Careering. Credibility was something I had to fight to establish, but I knew that I didn’t want to waste another year making a handful of placements while hundreds to thousands of candidates stayed stuck and disempowered.

I knew that, like my parents, there were working parents everywhere coming home exhausted, overworked, and stressed out, wanting to have the energy to engage at home, but needing to disengage just to recover.

*****************************************************************

Even the best work is going to present challenges. Innovation and progress can’t happen without those challenges. However, if people are going to spend their time away from their families and loved ones, at least that time can be meaningful, fulfilling, and well compensated.

If 9/11 hadn’t happened, I would probably not have been laid off, and I may not have had the personal experience of long-term unemployment that made me understand and help people through the emotions of that experience. In fact, I may continued to go through the motions of a job I was growing bored of, waiting for a chance to learn and do something more.

And if it hadn’t happened:

  • Would I still feel called to this mission?
  • Would I have gained such insights about what great talent craves if I had not gotten to know them as clients, only candidates?
  • Would I be consulting to companies on how to be better employers for sustainable, conscious growth?
  • Would I be teaching emerging students how to navigate the job market and become conscious leaders?
  • Would I volunteer my time to nurturing young entrepreneurs in an effort to spark future economic growth and innovation?

Likely not.

My to-do lists are mostly things that I GET to do in support of my mission. I am seeing that now more clearly, and I am grateful that my time, my energy, and my efforts are making a difference that is meaningful to me and others.

Coincidentally, my students were awesome at sharing their realizations. They went deep. They brought their emotions to the surface, and learned that this was okay.

I hope for them now 9/11, a day when too many tragically died, has birthed new vision of how they can apply what they are learning in college to craft careers that make the world a better place and work a better way to spend their time.

This blog is dedicated to my students, Cabrini COM Cavaliers, social justice warriors!

 

Van Halen – Right Now HD.flv

one of the best videos eveR……..wud remain true for any decade i guess

 

Karen Huller, author of Laser-sharp Career Focus: Pinpoint your Purpose and Passion in 30 Days (bit.ly/GetFocusIn30), is founder of Epic Careering, a 13-year-old leadership and career development firm specializing in executive branding and conscious culture, as well as JoMo Rising, LLC, a workflow gamification company that turns work into productive play. 

While the bulk of her 20 years of professional experience has been within the recruiting and employment industry, her publications, presentations, and coaching also draw from experience in personal development, performance, broadcasting, marketing, and sales. 

Karen was one of the first LinkedIn trainers and is known widely for her ability to identify and develop new trends in hiring and careering. She is a Certified Professional Résumé Writer, Certified Career Transition Consultant, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with a Bachelor of Art in Communication Studies and Theater from Ursinus College and a minor in Creative Writing. Her blog was recognized as a top 100 career blog worldwide by Feedspot. 

She is an Adjunct Professor in Cabrini University’s Communications Department and previously was an Adjunct Professor of Career Management and Professional Development at Drexel University’s LeBow College of Business  She is also an Instructor for the Young Entrepreneurs Academy where some of her students won the 2018 national competition, were named America’s Next Top Young Entrepreneurs, and won the 2019 People’s Choice Award. 

A Day in the Life of You, Average 2019 American Worker / By Karen Huller / Labor Day 2019

 

This morning, after a long weekend,

You fight traffic

Dodging rushing drivers

To not get docked or dinged

For being late or seeming like

You can’t be reliable.

 

Another disgruntled shooter

Showed up at work this weekend.

You wonder about the people

You were relieved to see go.

Are they really gone?

Not from your mind.

 

Living paycheck to paycheck,

Hoping no emergencies occur.

Ignoring the pain, but

Is it a serious symptom?

How long do you have?

You know you don’t know.

 

Your boss believes you’ll rest

At home, on the weekends.

Though you get emails and texts

While you shuffle kids around,

Tending to their needs,

Warding off tantrums (sometimes),

And solving household mysteries.

 

30 minutes on hold with

insurance companies.

Sorting mail, doing laundry,

Scrubbing toilets, washing cars,

Mowing lawns, grocery shopping.

Other to-dos that don’t.

 

Not even sleep is restful.

Vacations are never long enough.

You rush to tie loose ends.

You return to catch-up work.

Lunches are rushed.

Even windows stay shut.

 

Dinging notifications,

Relentless robocallers,

Merciless collectors,

Technical difficulties,

Imaginary or possible conflicts

Disrupt peace and creativity.

 

You feel pressure to perform,

To keep up, stay skilled.

More money would help,

But more effort seems impossible.

Your plate overflows.

You don’t feel like enough.

 

When can you reflect, dream,

Make plans for the future?

How can you innovate,

Keep up, let alone get ahead?

What more could you be?

How long can this go on?

 

If you stay, are you a fool?

If you go, will it be worse?

Can you pull it off?

Will you have regrets?

Change isn’t worth the trouble.

 

And we wonder…

Why mental health declines,

Why chronic diseases flourish,

Why engagement is elusive,

Why drugs seduce,

Why suicides and shootings abound.

 

This model’s not sustainable.

Your wellbeing is critical.

The future needs you.

Your loved ones need you.

Companies need consciousness.

You need to demand it.

 

I’ve heard you.

I’ve been there.

I’m reaching out my hand.

A better tomorrow awaits,

Though I am not waiting.

I am FIGHTING!

 

Science is in our favor.

Stress can be managed.

Health can be restored.

Consumers have power to

Protect people and the planet.

Your talent is power – USE IT!

Working Class Hero – John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band

John Lennon Signature Box contains 9 Albums, all the singles, a disc of rarities & a book from Yoko, Julian & Sean. Available on Amazon: http://bit.ly/JLbox & iTunes http://bit.ly/JLboxi Video from Lennon Legend DVD: http://bit.ly/lenleg JL Videos on iTunes: http://apple.co/2hIilCu Notes from Lennon Legend DVD: A new video, directed by Simon Hilton, filmed in Liverpool.

Karen Huller, author of Laser-sharp Career Focus: Pinpoint your Purpose and Passion in 30 Days (bit.ly/GetFocusIn30), is founder of Epic Careering, a corporate consulting and career management firm specializing in executive branding and conscious culture, as well as JoMo Rising, LLC, a workflow gamification company that turns work into productive play. 

While the bulk of her 20 years of professional experience has been within the recruiting and employment industry, her publications, presentations, and coaching also draw from experience in personal development, performance, broadcasting, marketing, and sales. 

Karen was one of the first LinkedIn trainers and is known widely for her ability to identify and develop new trends in hiring and careering. She is a Certified Professional Résumé Writer, Certified Career Transition Consultant, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with a Bachelor of Art in Communication Studies and Theater from Ursinus College and a minor in Creative Writing. Her blog was recognized as a top 100 career blog worldwide by Feedspot. 

She is an Adjunct Professor in Cabrini University’s Communications Department and previously was an Adjunct Professor of Career Management and Professional Development at Drexel University’s LeBow College of Business  She is also an Instructor for the Young Entrepreneurs Academy where her students won the 2018 national competition and were named America’s Next Top Young Entrepreneurs.

If You’re Robbing Yourself of Fun and Self-Care During Your Job Search, You’re robbing Yourself of Results (Prescription Within!)

 

When I was out of work for 10 months after 9/11, I was not only in between jobs but also in between living arrangements. I wasn’t officially a roommate to my boyfriend (now husband) and his roommate since I was not paying rent, and I could not continue to live with my bachelor father, because some things you can’t unsee.

I had moved back in with my dad after leaving a cheating boyfriend at the age of 21, met my husband four months later, and was laid off six months into our relationship.

I had student loans to pay and some credit card debt that I’d accrued while searching for my first job after college. I had also finally bought a brand new car, a Saturn SL2, after being stranded one too many times on the side of the road with a broken down car, so I had a car payment as well.

After being informed that cleaning and tidying were insufficient forms of rent, and if he (the roommate) were me he wouldn’t be doing pilates at 3 PM or hiking in the middle of the day, but hitting the pavement.  I felt added pressure to spend all my time either working doing anything so as not to be home when he was home, but also not spending my time on self-care. I walked to a business within walking distance, since gas was a luxury I couldn’t always afford, and worked for minimum wage doing menial tasks while neglecting self-care. My depression worsened, and interview anxiety manifested, whereas I’d never had interview anxiety before.

As an employee, I was known to be sharp, intelligent, forward-thinking, and organized. As an unemployed sponge, I was now considered a burden, a leech, and essentially useless. Even though some friends were helping me out, giving me referrals for jobs, I was not making them look good at all. I was showing up as the unemployed sponge, not the confident, value-adding, trend-setting, technology-savvy people person.

After the business down the street told me their business slump meant my minimum wage job was no longer, I went back to taking care of myself. Neglecting myself wasn’t working; it was backfiring. So was doing work well below my capacity and potential. Something else I realized – my husband and his roommate didn’t know how to land a corporate job. Hitting the pavement was not producing jobs that would position me to pay my bills and rent and sending online application after online application left me powerless and dejected. I had to go back to my network, which I avoided when I was depressed and doing demeaning work. I had to show up as the person who would add value

I went back to pilates and hiking regularly. I spent my transition time finding out who my network knew (this was before LinkedIn). I shifted my criteria to target GROWTH opportunities that required a college degree, whether in recruiting or not, and challenged myself to find ways to have fun that didn’t require spending a lot of (or any) money so I could remember why people wanted to be around me.

I landed, finally, and then was laid off again three months later, but landed again five weeks later, and then was promoted three months after that. I knew that eventually, I would teach people what I learned about making a job search effective AND fun, and how essential both are.

Nearly 16 years later, here I am with 13 years of experience doing just that under my belt and when my clients express to me that their emotions and thoughts are getting the best of them, I prescribe them fun and self-care. Now, after years of studying human performance optimization and neuroscience, I have an even better understanding of exactly why fun and self-care are essential to job search success.

Do you remember learning about Pavlov’s dog?  Reinforcement is key to learning positive behaviors and making them habits. Reward yourself for engaging in job search activities that are effective, but perhaps stretch your comfort zone, like attending networking events, asking your friends and contacts for introductions, inviting hiring managers to speak or meet, and calling to follow up. The more you associate these activities with a reward, the more motivated you will feel to do them.

And, once you get results this way, the shot of endorphins will further compel you to want to repeat them.

Make sure your self-care routine incorporates exercise AND restoration. Exercise is not just healthy for your body, but also has proven clinical impacts on your mental state, helps you feel more confident, and increases oxygen to your brain to make you smarter! Restoration and recuperation is key to preventing physical fatigue and brain fatigue, both of which can negatively impact your performance and mood. Making time for stillness and reflection is essential to seeing where and how you can improve as a human being, teammate, and as a performer.

To take this all a level up, identify and engage in activities that put you in the flow. The more you can put yourself in a state of flow, the better you intuitively, swiftly solve problems and make decisions. For me, being in the woods or out on the water, coloring, making crafts with flowers and plants, swimming in the ocean, sitting in my hot tub, dancing to live music, attending development-related classes and webinars, watching sports, and yoga put me in a flow state.

Make a list of activities that make you feel like you’re in the flow, and set time aside on your calendar each week for these. Steven Kotler, NY Times best-selling author on the subject of flow, recommends at least 15% of your time be allocated for this each week.

Also, don’t avoid people because you fear their judgment. Isolation is a confidence killer and anxiety inducer.  Invite the people who know and appreciate the “real you” to spend time with you at least once a week. There are plenty of things that you can do that don’t require spending money, such as a game of catch, card and board game potlucks, picnics, and gathering to watch your favorite show or team. Keep up your team skills while in transition. You can even invite them to volunteer with you.

Having trouble justifying this to the stakeholders in your job search? Tell them it is a prescription, professor’s orders, and show them this:

 

If you want additional emotional support and guidance (not just advice, which I give freely here) on how to spend your days to optimize your performance and results, schedule a free consultation.

Put The Lime In The Coconut

AND SHAKE IT ALL UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Karen Huller, author of Laser-sharp Career Focus: Pinpoint your Purpose and Passion in 30 Days (bit.ly/GetFocusIn30), is founder of Epic Careering, a corporate consulting and career management firm specializing in executive branding and conscious culture, as well as JoMo Rising, LLC, a workflow gamification company that turns work into productive play. 

While the bulk of her 20 years of professional experience has been within the recruiting and employment industry, her publications, presentations, and coaching also draw from experience in personal development, performance, broadcasting, marketing, and sales. 

Karen was one of the first LinkedIn trainers and is known widely for her ability to identify and develop new trends in hiring and careering. She is a Certified Professional Résumé Writer, Certified Career Transition Consultant, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with a Bachelor of Art in Communication Studies and Theater from Ursinus College and a minor in Creative Writing. Her blog was recognized as a top 100 career blog worldwide by Feedspot. 

She is an Adjunct Professor in Cabrini University’s Communications Department and previously was an Adjunct Professor of Career Management and Professional Development at Drexel University’s LeBow College of Business  She is also an Instructor for the Young Entrepreneurs Academy where her students won the 2018 national competition and were named America’s Next Top Young Entrepreneurs.

The Perfect Pass, and I Dropped the Ball

I was given the perfect opening, and I dropped the ball.

It’s really odd. I had my HR Summit presentation for the Greater Valley Forge Human Resources Association finished a couple months before I had to deliver it. I had plenty of time to learn it. I switched things around several times, including at the last minute because I learned something I had to pass on.

Then, I get into the groove, I was asked a question for which the answer aligned perfectly with the new juicy nugget I wanted to pass on, and not only did I totally whiff on delivering it then, I forgot to deliver it at all!

I shared it in last week’s blog, actually. But I was presented with the perfect practical application of that, which would have served as an eye-opening, a-ha moment for many, I just know it, and I didn’t deliver.

I told everyone to look up and follow Cy Wakeman. I’m sure I got that much out, and I mentioned her insights on open-door policies and a new communication training that if executives and employees alike were both trained in and applied it, careering would be epic on so many more levels. I just failed to demonstrate it when someone confronted me with a perfect scenario.

So, this blog is a make up for my omission that you get to benefit from, as well.

The scenario presented (I’m going to keep this general so as to protect the person who shared,) was that a person was hired to work with leaders in promoting the company, but is not finding leaders participatory.

She was given the following advice, some from me and some from other attendees:

  • Go after the most willing convert
  • Get an influencer on board
  • Ease them in gradually
  • Do it all at once; rip off the Band-Aid

Any of this advice might be right, but the opportunity was not to give advice. Actually, it was to ask self-reflective questions to restore this person’s empowerment.

Things I should have asked her:

  • What do you know for certain?
  • What can do you to move forward?
  • If you were great in this situation, what would that look like? [Great, go do that.]

Instead, I commiserated. I actually said, “That sucks! I’m sorry you’re in such a tough position.”

I’m sure the validation made her feel a little bit better, but what would have felt even better was being able to see clearly what she could do and then being empowered and encouraged to do that.

There’s so much I have yet to learn from Cy, including her views on change management, which so far I discern are contrarian to what I see being implemented in corporate practices. Times are a-changing, though. We all NEED to be able to adapt faster.

This technique of switching from ego-self to higher self in an instant is just one of many potential mini-practices that stand to make a HUGE impact on the everyday work experience.

I know if I had more than a week to practice it, it would have felt like the natural response.

In spite of my regret not sharing it live at the event when the perfect moment presented itself, I’ll assume it worked out for everyone’s favor that I share it this way, and I’ll continue to practice it myself.

It’s what I know I can do, and it feels better to do what I can than to worry about not having done it already.

I also forgot to make sure everyone got my free gift, so click here for a report on Experiential Recruiting.

Bob Dylan The Times They Are A Changin’ 1964

TV Movie, The Times They are a Changing’ (1964) Directed by: Daryl Duke Starring: Bob Dylan

Karen Huller, author of Laser-sharp Career Focus: Pinpoint your Purpose and Passion in 30 Days (bit.ly/GetFocusIn30), is founder of Epic Careering, a corporate consulting and career management firm specializing in executive branding and conscious culture, as well as JoMo Rising, LLC, a workflow gamification company that turns work into productive play.

While the bulk of her 20 years of professional experience has been within the recruiting and employment industry, her publications, presentations, and coaching also draw from experience in personal development, performance, broadcasting, marketing, and sales.

Karen was one of the first LinkedIn trainers and is known widely for her ability to identify and develop new trends in hiring and careering. She is a Certified Professional Résumé Writer, Certified Career Transition Consultant, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with a Bachelor of Art in Communication Studies and Theater from Ursinus College and a minor in Creative Writing. Her blog was recognized as a top 100 career blog worldwide by Feedspot.

She was an Adjunct Professor of Career Management and Professional Development at Drexel University’s LeBow College of Business, will be an Associate Professor in Cabrini University’s Communications Department in 2019, and is also an Instructor for the Young Entrepreneurs Academy where her students won the 2018 national competition and were named America’s Next Top Young Entrepreneurs.

“Can You Teach an Adult Compassion?”

 

This was a question posed by a friend on mine on Facebook. Some were under the impression that you can’t.

My answer:

“You can develop emotional intelligence through mindfulness techniques, but that would have to be voluntary.

‘I tried to find a video I saw (I thought it was Samantha Bee) where they brought global warming deniers through a kind of fun house type of experience where they experience the devastating effects of climate change for themselves. The fear inspired by the special effects changed ~60% of their minds. [I still can’t find this, but I will continue to try. Maybe it was Tosh.O or Sarah Silverman.]

‘There are experiments going on right now with virtual reality. I believe this was either Jane McGonigal or her sister who did a VR experiment on compassion and conservation. [It was Jane who mentioned it, but it was not her experiment– here is the video.] Apparently, participants who cut down a sequoia tree in virtual reality were [more likely to recycle.] Fascinating! There is so much tremendous research going on right now and breakthroughs on the way.”

I also added a fun fact to the thread:

“Did you know under normal circumstances the part of our brain responsible for emotional intelligence doesn’t start to develop until our third decade of life?” [Correction: it doesn’t become fully functional until our 3rd decade of life.]

The insula and anterior cingulate are the parts associated with self-awareness and social awareness. You can absolutely accelerate development of these parts of your brain and the neural circuits through mindfulness techniques. [Cited from Neurowisdom: The New Brain Science of Money, Happiness, and Success by Mark Waldman and Chris Manning, PhD]

I should also point out that development of this part of the brain can also be inhibited. Those who grow up bullied, overly criticized, abused, neglected, etc. are likely to become the ones whose self-talk is overly critical.

Being overly self-critical increases your tendency to find error in everything and everyone. Adjusting your self-talk to be more compassionate stimulates neural circuits associated with empathy. [Also cited from Neurowisdom.] Just like building muscle through repetitive motion and skill through practice, the more you use these neural circuits, the more you will develop compassion for yourself, and others as a byproduct.

So, to follow that further, the people who are most critical of others are the ones who are hardest on themselves.

It seems quite hypocritical to vilify people who are not demonstrating compassion. Science tells us what they need is to love and accept themselves more. This is what I imagine Ghandi meant when he said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” It’s also why believers in the Law of Attraction advise you to “give what you are seeking” to shift your abundance.

If you want people to be more compassionate, show them more compassion. Show yourself more compassion!

That’s a big one! It’s why the fabulous Brené Brown’s research and teachings have been so embraced. We all crave and need more self-compassion.

There are also experiences, apps, virtual reality games, and exercises that have proven to help accelerate self-compassion as well as outward compassion. New studies are being done all the time. It’s important to note that not only can increases in neural activity associated with compassion be measured, but the neural activity DOES impact behavior.

Here are just a few options:

The Compassion Experience transports people into someone less fortunate’s life. It also is backed by research. It is created by a Christian organization and the events are held at churches over a several-day period. I found four in my local area over the summer, including one at my cousin’s church. It is intended to enhance gratitude and compassion in children and to inspire parents to donate to less fortunate children in different parts of the world. The events are free (at least the ones that I saw, but this could be church-specific.)

Ho’oponopono is an ancient Hawaiian prayer said to heal and release. There are four simple lines: I love you; I’m sorry; I forgive you; Thank you. That’s it. It’s the simplest prayer ever. It can be said over and over like a chant, or you can say it every time you look in a mirror. You can say it in the morning as you wake, or at night before you sleep, or both. You can say it out loud or in your head. You can say it with your eyes closed or open. You can say it as though you are talking to yourself, or someone else. It’s not really something you can do wrong.

Mindfulness has many different connotations, and not all of them are clinical or accurate. In fact, the word has been misapplied to mean being positive or meditating. There is no particular breathing technique that you have to learn – just NOTICE your breath. Then notice your thoughts. Notice your emotions. Notice your body. Notice the tiny details of things around you. Notice the vibrancy of colors. Notice the beauty of nature or people. That’s it! That’s all there is to mindfulness. It’s an important step toward accepting and allowing what is, including you, without judgment.

Maybe you think this is for someone else less compassionate than yourself. Well, statistically, people believe they are more compassionate than they are, so it stands to reason that anyone might as well become more compassionate.

Let me know if you have tried any of these methods. Let me know if you would like extra assistance with compassion for yourself or others.

Give a Little Bit Singer/Songwriter Roger Hodgson of Supertramp, with Orchestra

“Give a Little Bit has a wonderful message that makes people light up and I get them to sing with me. It really has a message that is very eternal and is needed even more today than it was when I wrote it when I was 19.

Karen Huller, author of Laser-sharp Career Focus: Pinpoint your Purpose and Passion in 30 Days (bit.ly/GetFocusIn30), is founder of Epic Careering, a career management firm specializing in the income-optimizing power of social media and personal branding, as well as JoMo Rising, LLC, a workflow gamification company that turns work into productive play. While the bulk of her 20 years of professional experience has been within the recruiting and employment industry, her publications, presentations, and coaching also draw from experience in personal development, performance, broadcasting, marketing, and sales. 

Karen was one of the first LinkedIn trainers and is known widely for her ability to identify new trends in hiring and personal marketing. She is a Certified Professional Résumé Writer and Certified Career Transition Consultant and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with a Bachelor of Art in Communication Studies and Theater from Ursinus College and a minor in Creative Writing. Her blog was recognized as a top 100 career blog worldwide by Feedspot. 

She was an Adjunct Professor of Career Management and Professional Development at Drexel University’s LeBow College of Business and recently instructed for the Young Entrepreneurs Academy at Cabrini College, where her students won the national competition and were named America’s Top Young Entrepreneurs.

Has Overwhelm Sabotaged Your Momentum?

Wipeout by Kellinahandbasket on Flickr

Yes, I want it all. Don’t we all?

Don’t you want to be able to afford the finer things in life – to visit exotic places, and live in a beautiful home, and to give your kids the best education and experiences? You, like me, also want time to enjoy them.

You want to know that the time and talents you devote to work are well-spent, made a difference, and that they’re appreciated.

You want to know that your life made a positive difference.

You want to feel vibrant, strong, and healthy – invincible.

If your reality is far from that, the disparity can seem insurmountable to overcome at times. It can make you feel worse, which is de-motivating and leads to inaction.

Efforts to get closer to the life you want can stretch you further than feels comfortable or even possible at times.

Here was my critical revelation:

“Overwhelm is what happens when things start moving faster

than you have practiced being in alignment with.”

~ Abraham

The phrase, “Be careful what you wish for,” comes to mind. Overwhelm can cause you to kill your big dreams, temporarily or permanently.

May was my month to host book club and I chose The Originals by Adam Grant. Stamina to follow through with big initiatives is one of the key differences he identifies between those who go on to bring into the world disruptive ideas and those who have to default to lending their talents to someone else’s vision.

This was another big a-ha for me. When I first picked up the book I wanted so much to be able to see myself as an Original, and for the most part, I do. But the realization of this missing puzzle piece caused me to delve into deep self-evaluation.

Why was it that I could come up with some brilliant, game-changing ideas, but have not yet been successful in having them adopted on a large enough scale to shift the dominant paradigm in how corporate professionals career, hire, and lead?

Funny thing about questions – once you ask yourself a question, your brain starts to answer it.

I have pattern of asking for things to pick up, then they do, and I want them to slow down.

Can you relate to this?

Most of the time, I consider myself blessed to be such a great vessel for ideas and to be doing work that I find rewarding and meaningful for which I have a great passion. However, my passion is inconsistent and shifts focus. Too many of my great ideas die on the vine. I’d like to think they’re just dormant for now, but when and how do I revive them? How do I make sure that the ideas that come through me that have the potential to really make life better, easier, more fun, etc. get created and get adopted?

Some of my setbacks I wouldn’t change; while my big initiatives are important, my kids are my #1 priority. I have allowed myself a certain amount of grace because I made a conscious choice to be at home with them while they were little, but they’re getting bigger and I have to notice what ELSE I let slow me down. Next year my kids will both be in school full-time, and I can start to assume a more conventional workweek. It’s time to make sure that I take full advantage of the time I have, to figure out how to ride a wave of momentum instead of letting it take me under and wipe out.

I realized that the pattern isn’t just exclusive to my work life, but my fitness, creativity, and social life as well. I go in bursts, and then I shift focus.

But why? I can easily rationalize that it’s because I like variety – I like to be dynamic. I can choose to just be empowered and accept that this is the way I am and the way I like it. However, in order to accept that I’d have to ignore the fact that my professional mission isn’t being fulfilled. I started multiple related initiatives over the years, but didn’t finish the majority of them, such as my app. Whenever I was advised that something had to become my obsession or a full-time job, I took my foot off the gas and put that initiative on a back-burner.

Again, I can justify it, and that’s worked up to now, but I once the kids are in school full-time, a big concession goes away, and I don’t want to let another concession take its place.

  • I have to start seeing myself as someone who makes big things happen in the world, and as someone who can handle all that brings with it.
  • I have to start being bigger than my problems.
  • I have to embody the vision by loving myself into a greater version of myself.
  • I have to trust that it will happen no matter what by embracing the good and the bad that happen along the way as part of my journey, instead of seeing the bad things as obstacles intended by the Universe to thwart me.
  • I have to achieve greater balance in all of the areas of my life that are important to me, so that a sense of deprivation doesn’t lead me to justify stepping back or stepping down from my mission.

The intention is to get aligned with the version of myself that is all of thee above, and to expand my self-image to be the version of myself who welcomes and manages success well.

So, I have a plan and tools to share, and if you have found yourself slowing things down just when they’re getting good, join me.

The tools I will use are time management through block scheduling, and reframing fear and challenges through meditation, visualization, and self-hypnosis.

I will use these tools to generate greater self-awareness so that I continue to refine my plans and actions and continue to make significant consistent progress.

I will label time blocks on a physical calendar in ways that help me keep the bigger picture in mind. For instance, a time block allocated to organizing my desk will be “Getting it Together,” time blocks allocated to paying bills will be “Spreading the Wealth,” and time blocks allocated to fitness will be “Loving the Skin I’m In.” Following this schedule will create balance and freedom, since it will include time for all that’s important for me.

Any time overwhelm occurs, I will tune into my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. I will listen to the conversation I am having with myself that is causing me to feel as though all that is happening is too big or too much for me. I will use self-hypnosis to flip those beliefs around one at a time (which is how hypnosis is done.)

When an opportunity comes along, I will use meditation to make a decision based on my inner-knowing, also known as intuition, to avoid making any decision based on fear – fear of missing out, fear of disappointing, fear of lack of other opportunities. I will only move forward with opportunities with which I feel aligned and that will benefit the greatest number of people and myself, regardless of the potential visibility and/or money. Saying yes to everything has been a recipe for burn out in the past.

When a challenge comes along, I will meditate and ask myself why this is happening FOR me, instead of TO me, and I will tap into intuition that will guide inspired action so that I am pulled to make bold movements forward versus pushing myself and acting with resistance, which has only led in the past to feeling overworked and under-rewarded.

I will be ritualistic about using visualization to maintain a sense of joy in my work, which will help me generate the magnetism that inspires others to get on board with my vision.

I expect that by following this plan, overwhelm will subside and I’ll generate a new sense of power. It may still happen, but I vow to not let it stop me any more. Even by acknowledging it, I am already starting to take away its power.

Stay tuned, and share with me your experience with overwhelm. Tell me I’m not alone. Together, we’ll become expert momentum surfers and bring much-needed solutions into the world.

“The ones crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”

~ Steve Jobs

Foo Fighters – Big Me

Foo Fighters’ official music video for ‘Big Me’. Click to listen to Foo Fighters on Spotify: http://smarturl.it/FooFSpotify?IQid=FooFBM As featured on Greatest Hits.

Why Hypnosis? Answer: Disruption – For Real

Meditation by Johan Bergs on Flickr

Eight years ago I watched a video during my pregnancy called The Business Of Being Born. Learning about the cascade of interventions and how they can lead to further complications was frightening. I vowed to give birth under as many natural conditions as possible, avoiding all potential UNNECESSARY medical interventions, including, but not limited to an induction, epidural, vacuum, episiotomy, and C-section. I was already seeing midwives at a birth center. A client who was a midwife convinced me of its safety and the dedication of the staff at this particular birth center, which was right across the street from a hospital. I decided I needed some help keeping my body AND mind working in my favor, to control my environment internally and externally as much as possible, so I invested in a $500 5-month course called Hypnobabies.

It worked, not just once, but twice. I might not have been too good at staying calm and relaxed the first time, stretching labor with Daisy to 5.5 days with back labor. Even so, I delivered naturally, without drugs (not without pain; I was just able to manage it,) and without any other interventions. I’m certain that had my plan been to deliver at a hospital, they would have induced me when I showed up the day after my due date and labor slowed down rather than send me home, even though it was perfectly safe to labor at home as long as it took, since my water had not broken. The midwives, however, sent me home, advised me to get sleep if I could, and I came back two days later with much better progress. Daisy was born 5 hours later perfectly healthy.

During the second time, I was more effective at USING the contractions (reframed as “pressure waves” during the program but I reframed them again to “progress waves” for the 2nd birth) to accelerate labor to active labor; I delivered Adelaide within hours at the birth center, without drugs and interventions.
The course was actually training me in self-hypnosis so that I could induce hypnosis with the drop of a finger. This turned off my conscious mind where all my fears are to allow my subconscious to be a better partner to my body and allow things to happen naturally.

So, I already had a great confidence in hypnosis and had invested in courses and CDs for other things after that, such as increased focus and intuition. I have been studying related topics, such as neuroscience, guided imagery, creative visualization, meditation, etc., focusing on scientific evidence of efficacy in much more depth since then.

It’s not what you see on TV or at shows. It’s not mind control; it’s natural.

Ultimately, here is why I finally became a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist:

As my clients have grown more willing to allow me to talk about other areas of their lives, I have grown ever more acutely aware of how intertwined our career is to other realms of our lives and vice versa. If a client was not able to land a job using the best practices, it was often because of an issue in another area of life.

During this epiphany, I realized that I need to be MORE than just a career coach if I want people to get where they want to go. I saw this in my own life too: A breakthrough in one area will start a cascade of positive impacts. Conversely, a limit or problem in one area can bleed into other areas of my life, holding me (and you) back from having what we really want in life, and wasting days of our lives that we could be happy, but instead we feel miserable and powerless.

The good news: Our mind is immensely powerful, and there is a lot that can be done to leverage the mind to create the change that leads to happiness. However, out of all the modalities I studied and tried over the years, hypnosis is the fastest way to access and leverage the mind’s power.

Why? Because hypnosis works with the subconscious mind, where we learn, store memories, operate automated body functions, and program habits.

Too many coaches focus on motivation and willpower. Some people are naturally inclined to be willful, but too many more have to fight the brain’s natural inclination to resist change. Without hypnosis, achieving change for the majority is a struggle. It’s an unnecessary struggle. Hypnosis makes change easier, meaning you have to rely less on willpower to overcome the mind’s resistance. Instead, the mind is working in your favor!

My sense of urgency to help MORE people create meaningful change NOW has continued to grow, as has my desire to impact more realms of life than just career. AND, if I can help you become your best self (which I can,) you can then also bring the best out in others, and then there are optimally creative and powerful minds working on the big issues together.

Also, the more I learned about the applications of hypnotherapy, the more I thought about current epidemics that it can help tackle, besides career disengagement, like:

>> Mental health issues, since most of the mass shooters and suicide victims were found to be on psychotic drugs for conditions that can be relieved by hypnosis (in conjunction with proper Psychological treatment)

>> The opioid crisis, since hypnotherapy has proven successful in alleviating chronic pain

>> Obesity-related disease, since forming better eating and exercise habits is integral to proper weight management

>> Stress-related diseases, which may as well be all of them since stress decreases your body’s own ability to heal itself

I really could go on and on….

What Science Supports This?

Besides what I mentioned above, a lot!

In the 1800s, before chloroform and other anesthesia, the surgery mortality rate was 80%, and patients died most frequently from infection, shock and/or fear. Hypnosis was attributed to lowering the fatality rate for surgeries by 10%. (10 years later ether was found to be 90% effective and hypnosis was abandoned.)

The American Dental Association includes hypnosis among methods dentists and dental students can use for pain control and sedation for patients undergoing dental procedures.

Freud, before he founded psychoanalysis and created a branch between psychology and hypnosis, studied at an elite school for hypnosis.

Hypnosis was accepted by the British Medical Association in 1892. In 1958, hypnosis was accepted by the American Medical Association as an ORTHODOX medical treatment. In fact, medical doctors and psychologists committed to helping patients find relief from a variety of conditions and chronic pain refer patients to hypnotherapists. It works in complement to boost the efficacy of standard medical or holistic treatments.

American Psychology Association has endorsed hypnotherapy as an effective method for pain relief, treating anxiety, forming good habits, and breaking bad ones, such as smoking. The British Psychology Society published a paper as recent as 2001 citing “convincing evidence” that hypnosis is effective for the same.

Other scientifically proven applications for hypnotherapy:

  • Improves memory – This is why meditation and hypnotherapy is now sometimes taught to post-graduate students
  • Dizziness in advanced cancer patients – Of the many symptoms that decrease quality of life, dizziness is one of the biggest, and it can put the patient at risk of injury, leading to further decreases in quality of life
  • Palliative care (end-of-life care) – Reducing anxiety can prolong life while also making the last days more comfortable and enjoyable

Why now?

Have you ever lost a loved one to an untimely death? I have. Two years apart my sister-in-law died at 51 and then my nephew died on his 28th birthday. We don’t know how much time we have. I see the pace of change accelerating, and I want to do everything I can while I’m on this earth to keep the trajectory going in a positive direction. That’s my calling; it’s my mission. It compels me.

Have I Changed Careers or Turned Against Coaching?

Absolutely not! I still believe fully in coaching and the advantage of having an objective guide to help identify blind spots so that you know for what to receive hypnotherapy. Plus, hypnosis is just one of many tools now in my tool belt, and it is not a cure-all (or a cure.) It still has to be applied responsibly and appropriately! There are things from my coaching experience that have taught me that what appears on the surface can be very different than what lies beneath. Some hypnotherapists without this experience may take things at face value, and treat only what appears on the surface, when what lies beneath is at cause and, potentially, in need of greater medical, psychological or specialist expertise. I will continue to qualify my clients as good or bad candidates for my solutions, because it is of utmost importance to me that they get what they came to me for: meaningful change.

Ready for change NOW? Schedule a session!

Corporate leaders: How many employees do you think are putting off doctor’s appointments, leading them to miss more work days in the long run, or failing to adopt healthful or successful habits? Invite me in for a workshop for dramatic improvements in collaboration, creativity, performance, and productivity.

Ella Fitzgerald / You Do Something To Me

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