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Making 2018 Better Than 2017

Part 3 of 4

What does 2018 have in store?

Some things may seem out of your control, but there is no good outcome that can occur by spending time thinking about them. Rather, invest time in creating a vision of your new year that inspires and empowers you to do what is in your power to do so, which is all you can do, and yet, is much more powerful than you might expect.

Already the days are getting longer, and the dawn of a new era is always just a decision away.

We will talk about 3 new categories this week, with 3 more remaining. These categories are all important to your overall happiness and fulfillment. We tend to think that we can compartmentalize our life, and even having such categories might imply that, but what we need to realize if we are ever to achieve mastery in our lives, is that each category impacts the others.

Whether you have someone to kiss at midnight this year or not, we are going to start by recreating your vision of romance.

7. Love Life

Who has a relationship that you envy and why?  Some may tell you that envy is unhealthy, but that’s only if your admiration of someone’s life makes you sad instead of inspired. What would your life be like if you were able to have the kind of love that you admire?

If you have been in a long-term partnership, as I have (married 12 years, together for 17), you might feel as though it has already been as good as it will get. We can’t go back to the past, but we can infuse fresh life into relationships. I have seen miracles happen in this area. The magic comes from communication, compassion, and generosity.  Tony Robbins has some great videos of moments that he transformed relationships in minutes. It is possible!

If you are unattached, but wish to be, I have some friends in your boat, too. I have no answers for you. You probably have gotten a lot of advice, and perhaps even been set up more times than you care to have been. Some may think your standards are too high, or perhaps even feel like you choose the wrong matches. It’s still worthwhile, in my opinion, to create a vision of your ideal mate – the qualities, physical features, etc. While you are doing so, be in the feeling of having this person, rather than the feeling of missing this person.

The same method works for an established relationship:  it is the emotional component that activates the law of attraction. When American Indians did rain dances, they didn’t pray FOR rain, they prayed FROM rain – from the feeling of gratitude that rain was already coming.

You may have a great relationship, in which case, enjoy making plans of how you can deepen your relationship in the New Year – adventures you can have, ways to test yourselves and grow in new ways.

8. Lifestyle

From what I see, most of us start out our lives determined to live a certain lifestyle and then make decisions that we think will lead us to live that way. Sometimes, however, we want to live a different life than the one we were raised in, and may struggle to know what different decisions could be made that would help us transform our lifestyle.

Do you know someone who has a lifestyle that you would like to attain? Are there biographies available? Are they accessible? Could you interview them? Perhaps they might even be willing to mentor you. In my experience with successful people, many of them enjoy their blessings even more when they are able to pay it forward and help others.  A willing student is like a brand new canvas they can paint.

You may not need a full transformation of your lifestyle, but perhaps just a level-up in 2018.  Maybe you have been sacrificing travel for family obligations and next year’s level up is to travel more often. Where do you want to go? What are the costs of going? What are the landmarks you want to visit or adventures you want to experience?

Other things you can look to level-up:  vehicle, technology, garden, kitchen, office décor, organization, automation.

This category can seem superficial to some, and therefore unimportant. I want you to consider that while the true measure of a person is not what they possess; we often tend to measure ourselves this way anyway. We may even determine that we should deprive ourselves to be a good person, or that we are less than because we don’t possess what others do.

I don’t condone this thinking, but it happens, and society supports it, even breeds it.

Sometimes, things make us happy. Should we measure our lives by them? I’m not one to say “should” or “shouldn’t”.

I do know that there are scientifically-proven benefits to feeling happy, and if something makes you happy, you would be doing yourself good to allow yourself to enjoy it.

9. Character

How often have you thought about what kind of person you want to be, or how you want to be remembered?

The classic movie and book, A Christmas Carol, always makes me think about what impression people have that I might not know they have about me.

Did you ever picture yourself at your funeral? What do you think people would say? What would you want them to say?

One exercise a coach brought me through years ago was making a list of the top 5 people I admired, and then listing their top 3 qualities. It was said by this coach that these qualities are actually your true self, and that is the reason these qualities appeal to you.

We may not always operate in accordance with those qualities because what we learn and endure throughout our lives may take us out of alignment with those qualities, but they are intrinsically a part of us.

To help these qualities manifest more often, we must first raise our self-awareness and notice when we are not exhibiting those qualities. Then, we keep recreating and reinforcing a vision of ourselves as someone who consistently exhibits those qualities, and soon we make more decisions from this place of being. Then we also start enjoying the outcomes of making those decisions in terms of our relationships, improved habits, and peace of mind.

I know this makes it sound so simple. The truth is our brain defaults to make this type of change very challenging. It is possible, however, with a clear vision of the desired changes, resolve to stay self-aware, and commitment to sticking with it.

Which of the 9 areas covered so far feel the hardest to you?

Which do you want to dive into first, and which one do you want to avoid?

We’ll cover the last 3 categories next week.

 

Have a memorable, safe, EPIC new year!

Europe – The Final Countdown (Official Video)

Europe’s official music video for ‘The Final Countdown’. Click to listen to Europe on Spotify: http://smarturl.it/EuropeSpot?IQid=EuropeTFC As featured on 1982-1992.

Get in the Game

Baseball by PaulMLocke of Flickr

 

Was it hard to tell this Monday from any other Monday at work?

Can you remember the last time you felt triumphant at work?

Has it been more than three years since your last big professional growth spurt?

Your answers may reveal that you have been coasting. Sometimes we need to coast, like when we are going through big personal challenges. The impacts of these challenges can last a year or two (caring for an ailing elderly relative can take much longer). It can take us out of contention for professional growth and opportunity. There is only so long you can coast before ultimately running out of gas.

It may not be your fault; bad companies and bosses can kill your motivation and inhibit your desire to do more than a job requires.

Regardless, it is against our nature to stay stagnant too long and it can be detrimental to our mental, emotional, and physical health.

Ambition is something that we naturally generate. We can get into situations where we are re-trained to kill our own ambitions, and it can start at a very early age.

Pretty soon we are convincing ourselves that we are fine; the status quo is comfortable; change is unwanted and scary.

My friend since middle school ended a marriage she was unhappy in after she found evidence on Facebook that he was cheating. A couple years later she is very grateful for that evidence, because she may have stayed unhappy even longer without it. She is currently engaged to my brother’s friend, a man I have known since he was a boy, who I know is making her happy, will make her happy, and will be the loyal and affectionate spouse she wanted her ex to be. She said, “You don’t know how unhappy you were until you are happy.”

I do my monthly Epic Career Tales podcast so that people can be inspired by the level of success and happiness that other people have achieved. I know it is not always good to compare yourself with other people, but if you aren’t getting back from a job what you put into it, then you already know that you’re not as happy as you could be. But how do you know how happy you could be unless you compare yourself to how happy other people are?

A lot of you reading this right now have an automatic thought coming through saying, “Yeah, but those people aren’t me. They are [enter any one of the following: smarter, luckier, more privileged, prettier, wealthier, not as busy, more educated, better connected, etc.]”

If you don’t, that is great for you, because you have few reasons not to take action and become happy.

However, if you recognize that thought, that is also great for you, because recognizing it is the first step in taking its power away.

This post is not meant to put you on a path to extreme change in your life so that you can have happiness. I realize that if you have this thought then you also perceive the effort of becoming happy as potentially futile.

You may want to take action, and I encourage it, but effort is something I want you to save until you have a clear vision of what you being happy in your job could look like.

Tony Robbins has said, “Activity without a high-level of purpose is the drain of your fortune.”

So many of my clients are hesitant to picture what it could look like to be happy because they think that it will lead to greater disappointment.

Tony Robbins has also said that our expectations of what our reality should look like can cause our misery.

I just want to leave you with one distinction that might help clear up what seems to be a contradiction.

Be mindful of how you define happiness. The change you think might be necessary in order to achieve this may not be anything external.

Instead of thinking in terms of what you get when better conditions exist, think about you and your current conditions. Picture yourself in the flow, knowing you are at your utmost best and not needing anyone else to notice or recognize you for it.

This is a baby step to get your head back in the game of your career. For now, do not worry about winning the game, and certainly do not think about the championship – just play.

 

If you can generate a sense of happiness even in unfavorable conditions, you can become unstoppable.

 

My 2017 Plan of Attack

The Eye of the Tiger by Stuck With My Camera of Flickr

 

Attack may seem like a militaristic word, but after much consideration, it fits my current mindset. Like the eye of the tiger, I have my vision in sight and I am feeling poised and ready to take on 2017.

I have my calendar for the year broken down into micro-movements, better known as milestones, but unlike milestones, micro-movements have a bit more flexibility to shift around. I fully anticipate great opportunities arising that I cannot at this point predict, as I am expecting 2017 to be even better than I imagine.

This actually brings me to my first resources – books:

Code of the Extraordinary Mind: 10 Unconventional Laws to Redefine Your Life and Succeed On  Your Own Terms, Vishen Lakhiani

I am halfway through this book and have already evaluated 12 realms (shared earlier with you) and created inspiring visions for how I want these 12 realms to be. It was promising to find that I have already made significant progress in a couple of areas. The big thing that I just got from this book, however, is the state of mind I need to be in for exponential growth to occur. Goals are great, but not when they intimidate the JOY from the process. This reaffirms the mindset that I aim to adopt in an even more prominent way, that all of these roles that I assume in my life (mom, boss, CEO, coach, writer, adjunct professor, speaker, singer, etc.) are what I GET to do. I don’t LOVE all of the tasks associated with these roles, but if I maintain this mindset, then I can find the joy in these tasks and feel appreciative that I GET to do them. In turn, this will minimize my procrastination and increase my energy, enabling me to do more in less time.

 

The Originals: How Non-conformists Change the World, Adam Grant

I feel like I should have already read this book. It was brought to my attention by a client who helped the author with the launch. Considering he is local to me, and he seems to share a mission and a philosophy with me, I sense there is potential to join forces, but first, I want to delve deeper into his teachings. I realize that some of the things that I teach particular to interviewing and negotiation are contradictory to that which my peers promote. However, it is because of my experience and perspective as a “recovering” recruiter, my empathy for my clients, and the amazing outcomes these methods produced that I am driven to share them with as many people as possible, in spite of how some of them don’t conform to the traditional practices of my industry.

 

Tools of Titans: The Tactics, Routines, and Habits of Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers, Tim Ferriss

Tim Ferriss changed how I look at meetings, how I delegate, how I invest resources and inspired me to take my hands OFF the things that someone else can do better and faster. As a result, I finally launched my book. Even more important, however, is how I teach my clients to manage their time, making sure they are not spending their time writing their résumés over and over again, but putting their focus where they can make the greatest impact with decision-makers. I have transformed my six-month coaching programs into three-month programs, and I am currently developing a six-week program. I am excited to learn and teach what Tim shares in this book that will help me support shorter and shorter searches for optimal jobs.

 

Emergence: Seven Steps for Radical Life Change, Derek Rydall

Derek demonstrates how wisdom pours through him, as though he just opens himself up and the truth of what really needs attention and love shows up. I love listening to his podcast, “Best Year of Your Life.” I see this quality, too, in Tony Robbins. It is because of who they are and how they are, not what they say or do, that they can be such powerful agents of transformation. I want to learn more about Derek’s journey to discover what I can emulate that will make me more effortlessly, yet powerfully, illuminate my clients’ true brilliance, and teach them to shine even brighter.

 

YOU Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life, Jen Sincero

In my year as a Beachbody coach, this book was touted as the #1 go-to personal development resource. Most of the time, I do feel like a Badass, and I feel myself embodying this more and more. However, there are still those moments and thoughts that threaten to knock me off my path and out of pace. Again, I want to know if this is a resource I should be sharing with my clients, many of whom have self-limiting beliefs that tend to manifest as they form new habits, expand their comfort zones, and embody their brand.

 

The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science, by Norman Doidge

This book may change, since it was published in 2007, and so much more has been discovered about the brain since then, but it is highly acclaimed by the neuroscientists that I follow today. Why do I study the brain? What I was taught in school about the brain has been nullified by what they have discovered in the past 10 years. We are much more capable of changing our brains, a phenomenon they call neuroplasticity, and our brain is ultimately responsible for more of our reality than we knew before. When I started learning about the Law of Attraction in 2008, I needed to understand if there was any science to how our thoughts impact our reality. I found answers in neuroscience and quantum physics, and what I have learned since then has helped me be a better coach. I can help my clients override the neural patterns that keep them from attaining the change they so desire.  I will read one book on the brain, and I promise to share with you what it is and what I learned.

 

My 2017 company goals include:

  • Joining the National Speakers Association
  • (Re)starting a online community that will serve as a focus group for a 30-day Law of Attraction program
  • Building a back-end for Accelerfate, my job search mobile game, and put it in the hands of users
  • Engaging and training two like-minded professionals to use the Epic approach to help me support even more job seekers in 2017
  • Wining an industry award, submitting a résumé or two for a TORI (Toast of the Résumé Industry) award. BIG on my list > this is the last year I am eligible to win the Philadelphia Business Journal’s 40 under 40 list, or any other 40 under 40 list.
  • Landing a prestigious speaking gig

 

Events I plan on attending:

AwesomenessFest, better known as A-Fest

This happens twice a year in two exotic locations. This year’s first event is May 17-20 in Ibiza, Spain. I have never been to Europe before. I would certainly want to see more of it before coming back, but would also want my family to be with me.

 

Any Tony Robbins event

This is a bucket list item that I am feeling more and more compelled to check off. The more immersed I become in communities committed to personal and professional development, and the more I find myself quoting his videos, the more I realize that I do have a date with destiny.

 

An HR Tech conference, two of which I am examining:

HR Tech October 10-13 in Las Vegas, NV

Workhuman May 30-June 1 in Phoenix, AZ

 

A Career Development conference

National Career Development Association annual conference June 28-30 in Orlando, FL

 

I look forward to reviewing this list and what I accomplished at year’s end. In the meantime, 2017, here I come!

 

Purpose: Why Are We Here? What Are We Doing?

Peeking by Neville Nel of Flickr

 

These are deep questions, ones that in the midst of our hustle and bustle lives we rarely contemplate with any depth. This time of year as we supposedly get a little time off to focus on what matters and approach a new year, the opportunity for a fresh start, allow these questions to simmer in your mind for a bit.

Purpose is not a basic need, like food and shelter. However, people who consider themselves happy point to purpose as their happiness fuel. You can certainly be content to have the things that you need to survive, but I cannot help but feel as though if you have not reached the level of happiness that living your purpose provides, you have not really lived.

Sometimes purpose is underestimated as a resource for survival. I know so many people, too many people, who feel like they are treading water, just barely keeping their heads above. I want to help them all.

A very common key ingredient missing from their lives is the fact that what they do for a living is not at all tied to their purpose. This leads them to underperformance, underemployment, and underpayment, which then leads to a vicious cycle of under living, and that is the source of feeling like your head is barely above the water. The converse of that, however, is a feeling I wish everyone could experience. The best way I can describe it for those who have not yet discovered their purpose, is that it is like when you are at a live concert or show. The combination of the music plus the performance and the crowd crescendo to a point where you feel like your heart is so full that it is bursting, and you have a sense of connection to something bigger than yourself. Perhaps for you this sensation came in a different setting, like a Tony Robbins event, or a really moving religious ceremony. It is exhilarating, or as one client referred to it recently, LIGHTENING.

When your vocation is tied to your purpose, this sensation is a regularly-occurring phenomenon.

The best contribution that I can make at this time for all of you who have not yet known or have forgotten what it feels like to thrive and be happy is my new eBook: Laser-sharp Career Focus: Pinpoint Your Purpose and Passion in 30 Days.

Please spread the word, as I would like to get it into the hands of as many people who are living under their potential as possible.

Discovering your purpose is not only for your sake, but it is also of great importance to the GREAT employers. In fact, I just read a LinkedIn post about how REI doubled the amount of applicants by integrating purpose into their culture and hiring.

If you have yet to succeed at a great company, consider that the missing ingredient is PASSION. There is no better time to start than NOW… Well, December 28th, actually.  That is when the book is officially launched. In the meantime, however, grab your copy NOW.

“Laser-Sharp Career Focus now goes to the top of the list of helpful tools for job seekers and those endeavoring to manage their careers more successfully. The book is practical, effective and affordable! If you do the work in the book, the book will work for you. You can even revisit the exercises periodically, to reflect on your answers and update your career priorities. In my opinion, Laser-Sharp Career Focus should become your constant companion, helping you over time to build your most ideal career!”                    

 ~ Ford R. Myers, President of Career Potential, LLC and author of Get The Job You Want, Even When No One’s Hiring 

 

 

Make 2017 the year you level-up your career fulfillment and shoot for EPIC success.

 

 

Create Your Best Year Yet, Part 1

Rainer Maria Rilke Quotes from BrainyQuote.com

Rainer Maria Rilke Quotes from BrainyQuote.com

 

The New Year is a chance for a fresh start in your career and your life. It is a time to close the book on previous events and to plan new events. There are new opportunities, new goals to set, and new chances to grow and to improve the quality of your professional and personal life. Now is the time to create your best year yet and to obtain everything you want out of your career. A fresh start means breaking away from habits that did not work, focusing on what did work, and creating new opportunities. Take a moment to think about your previous year. Where did you succeed? Where are your areas of improvement and potential growth? What worked for you? What did not work for you? What successes would you like to duplicate to further your growth in the New Year?

Acknowledge the highs and lows the previous year brought as you prepare yourself for 2016. This gained perspective allows you to let go of what did not work and to double down on what worked. This reflection will also allow you to clean your slate and to see that your future is not limited by your past. Creating your best year consists of two parts: constructing a fresh start and setting goals. For this article we will focus on a fresh start in a new year and goal setting will be addressed next week.

 

  1. Focus on the positive

Take a moment to embrace the positive moments from your previous year. Write down your major successes and the goals you managed to complete. Of these successes, which ones would you love to duplicate or multiply in the New Year? Keep these goals as positive motivation. Tony Robbins, one of my favorite motivational speakers, talked about The Seven-Day Mental Diet. In his speech, he highlighted the power of positivity and creating habits around focusing on what is right in your world. “The habit of focusing on what’s right in your world, instead of what’s wrong. The habit of focusing on what you do have instead of what you don’t have in a situation.” Focusing on the positive leads to developing a sense of pride and gratitude in what you have accomplished. Having pride and gratitude is a critical part of inspiring other people to offer you opportunities.

 

  1. Confront the negative

Reflecting on and confronting the lows in your year opens the door to growth. After all, if you do not recognize the areas where the year did not progress smoothly, you cannot create a path to a better year. Take the case of Erin Joy Henry. Erin is a holistic nutrition counselor who used to have a negative outlook. She thought of positive people as insincere. One day she came to the realization that her negative thoughts were standing in the way of her getting everything she wanted out of life. She began to use positive affirmations and enjoyed the process so thoroughly that she sought the help of a wellness expert. With the help of the wellness expert, Erin was able to pinpoint her negative thoughts, confront them, and dedicate herself to writing down her positive affirmations every morning. She gradually transformed herself, saw her own potential, and uncovered her own brilliance.

Changing your outlook as you move into a new year means leaving your negativity in the past. T.D. Jakes, a popular pastor of a megachurch and best-selling author has written extensively on why negativity is best left in the past and how letting go can enable you to succeed. “The only thing left to change is how you process it. And if you process it right, you can turn it into something. You can use it for fuel.” See these events in a positive light and use them as an opportunity for growth.

 

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  1. Physically manifest your feelings and release them

Take your negative emotions and physically manifest and release them. The act of creating a tangible form for your negativity allows you to capture those thoughts and treat them as though they were real. Seinfeld had the yearly eve of Christmas Eve Festivus, an event where people sit around a table and air out their grievances, among other things. In your case, create a list of self-grievances then destroy them. This destruction could be as simple as burning the list, ripping it up, or my personal favorite, blowing up balloons. Blow up a balloon and take one breath for each item on your list, then pop the balloon. The point is to give your grievances a physical manifestation, to obliterate those manifestations, and to symbolically rid yourself of the mental energy they carry.

The Sedona Method is another great way of letting go of negativity. It consists of a line of questions with “yes” or “no” answers created by Lester Levenson to create positive change. Positivity is created by the act of releasing negative thoughts and emotions. You fully accept whatever you are experiencing by taking note of the underlying desire behind it and finding a release. The mental exercise is often likened to holding a pen in your hand until your hand begins to ache. The pen represents negativity. You have the power to choose to let go of the pen, i.e. your negative emotions, at any time. In short, the Sedona Method works because it allows you to take control of your emotions. Sarah Johnson, an entrepreneur, has created a video on how to use the Sedona Method.

 

  1. Release negativity and reclaim mental energy

Negative emotions can also be thought of as baggage. Once you understand what is weighing you down, you can release that baggage. Carrying baggage is not very different from walking with sandbags in each hand. When you first lift the sandbags they are heavy, but not particularly burdensome. As you walk further and further to your destination, it becomes hard to walk effectively with them. The muscles in your arms are strained and eventually you drag the bags in an attempt to ease the load. Wouldn’t it be easier to drop the sandbags? Once you drop the bags the load is completely gone and you are no longer worried about your burden. Instead, you are now walking lighter, faster, and are able to focus on and accelerate toward your destination. This renewed focus allows you to reclaim your mental energy. Mental energy is defined by the National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI) as the ability or willingness to engage in cognitive work. The type of energy that goes into maintaining baggage is referred to as mental clutter by entrepreneur Eben Pagan, and it drains of you much needed mental energy. Clearing away this clutter gives you the ability to focus on energy that allows you to build or renew relationships with family, friends, or colleagues, create professional or personal projects, and create thoughts that carry you into a brighter future. Think of what a renewed focus means to your career. You will be able to complete what is incomplete in communication, administration, and housekeeping. In short, once you’ve reflected and dumped your baggage you can focus creating opportunity.

 

Create your best year yet by leaving the past in the past and capturing new professional and personal opportunities in the New Year. Preparing for a new year means recreating what worked for you, pinpointing what didn’t work and using it as a chance to grow, letting go of your negativity, and reclaiming your mental energy. Are you ready to leave the past behind and make 2016 your best year? Are you ready to create and seize new opportunities?

 

Did the shift hit the fan?

Metro-north_mudslide_MTAPhotos

I was surprised at some of the backlash from my last blog. For the most part, actually, the feedback was positive. Engagement, via comments and social media invitations, was quite high. However, because some of the negative feedback came from folks I know, I felt it more. It was almost as if people read the article and thought I was giving the finger and making lewd gestures. People seemed shocked and surprised.

 

Was this that much of a deviation from my usual style of writing? I know for certain audiences and outlets the advice I give is less personal and more practical. Was this too revealing? While I was NOT the person being lewd and giving the finger, I had admitted to acting “ugly.” I feel more authentic being able to admit that, but perhaps it does damage some previously held opinions of me. The thought of this was alarming, because the backlash came from a population of people who were generally very confident in my abilities and even advocated my services to other people. These people I considered among my target audience – highly successful IT executives in prestigious companies. I was really worried that I might have alienated part of my audience with the bold content. I still am – it gives me a knot in my stomach.

 

After a few hours of contemplation, I concluded, perhaps falsely, but comfortingly, that people who have it together, have a successful career, act maturely and are under control at all times – they may not get it. They may surround themselves with people who are like-minded. They may consciously avoid people who seem to be a “hot mess.” They may cut off communication with someone who offends them in some way. They may have seen me as someone who has it all together and who acts professionally at all times. As much as I want to, I just won’t live up to that ideal.

 

I’ve certainly come a LONG way, but I can’t kid you – with two testing toddlers at home, having it together takes everything I have, and sometimes more! If you walk by my house at certain times, especially when I’m trying to get the girls out the door, you will hear someone who sounds desperate for control (and I have some lungs, too!) I’ve been grieving 6 losses in the last 3 years and have had 3 loved ones hit by cancer for their 2nd time. When these feelings are on the surface, I don’t have a lot of access to my emotional fortitude. I can break down from time to time.

 

It felt good to stand in that road rage story, take accountability and show people that you can create a great day and a great life with a choice in perspective. I felt like that whole incident had such purpose. It was divinely inspired for me to share with other people so that they could be inspired.

 

Maybe some people don’t want to be inspired? Or maybe what inspires them are stories of greatness that contain only positive details and highlights. Maybe they are successful because they have mindfully avoided people’s head trash. As a coach, however, I dive right in it. I like to sort through it and examine it. I am ever-present to the fact that being successful isn’t as easy as following the right steps. I mean, it could be, but how many professional athletes would we have if it was just a matter of mechanics? It isn’t! Any Philly sports fan recognizes that, while their team has tremendous talent and ability, they get into slumps. They choke. This isn’t because they forget the mechanics of their sport. It’s because performance is more mental in nature than mechanical.

 

One person had asked what my last post had to do with job seeking. Good comment, and perhaps it isn’t obvious to someone who has it together and has been gainfully employed for 10+ years what dealing with adversity and reframing a negative incident has to do with job seeking. I had hoped my reference to the Ron Nash blog would make the answer to this obvious, but his anecdotes were directly about a job interview and mine was purely about a bad interaction with another driver. Even so, an IT executive in a large company isn’t exactly on the front lines of hiring. From being a recruiter, I know the challenge of hiring has less to do with finding qualified candidates and more to do with finding qualified candidates that have the right attitude who would represent us well to our clients and make us look good, to put it bluntly.  The people who make things happen and achieve greatness usually do so as a result of their people skills. Once candidates get to the hiring manager, they have usually passed the professional and personal screens, having been qualified on hard and soft skills. This is a small percentage of the population – too small!

 

Meanwhile there’s a huge population of people with talent, skills, and education who, for one reason or another, learned habits and ways of thinking and being that are unproductive to their success.

 

This is who I mean to inspire. This is who needs tools in their life to help them apply with greater impact the power of the talents, wisdom, intelligence, and enthusiasm within them. These people need to know that facing adversity and being flawed is not a reason to accept defeat. My services are mostly aimed at helping with the mechanics of job seeking, but I am immersed in and partnering with thought leaders who focus on the mental aspects of success, such as John Assaraf, Tony Robbins, T. Harv Eker, Jen Groover, Brian Brogan,  Ron Nash and Derek Rydall.

 

From a popular post I had up from May 8, which received heavy engagement, I know people are still very upset about the unemployment situation in spite of improving numbers, which they don’t trust, for the most part. Long-term unemployment, disengagement from job searches, discouraged workers – this is still epidemic.

 

Herein lies my mission. I don’t want to alienate these successful IT executives, because I like them, and because they’re in positions to hire my clients and be my clients. They certainly can be helped by my services and I feel great about the impact that I can make on their career, but they don’t need to be saved by my services like the growing population of underutilized talent.

 

So, while I am in alignment in my mission sharing such personal content, I am conflicted and fearful about losing the confidence and rapport that I spent many years building. Do I have to make this sacrifice to move further in my mission to shift the current paradigm of job seeking and hiring? Is this the byproduct of choosing authenticity?  Or, am I truly just sabotaging myself and my success by being inappropriate and seemingly irrelevant, diverting from practical career guidance?

 

These discoveries are unsettling, however perhaps it is perfectly natural. Some say that you know you’re doing something right when you start to get publicly criticized. I’d like to ask the people who consider themselves paradigm shifters how they deal with such friction between old worlds and new ones, if that is indeed what is happening here. Can anyone share?

 

 

Can 15 minutes change your future?

Perhaps we have all had those moments that changed our future [Red Light], but did we know it? How many times have you been told to give someone a call because they could really help you and you let the number sit around until, poof, it’s gone – lost or in the trash – and then, out of sight, out of mind, and still your problem persists or gets worse? What can you learn in a 15-minute call that could change your future for the better?

How about how to ace an interview and land a job?

Gotthejob

That’s precisely what happened when somebody who was referred to me took advantage of a free resume and campaign evaluation. This guy had the cards stacked against him and many big ways, including a police record and many recent short employment stints that ended badly. The friend that referred him knew that if anybody could help them, I could. While he never even needed to become my client, in that evaluation I was able identify strategies to help him authentically overcome these seemingly insurmountable challenges. My advice enabled him to walk into an interview a little taller, a little more confident, and a little more proud of the value he could offer. This is exactly why we say at Epic Careering that we unveil your brilliance. I’ve often quoted Tony Robbins, “It’s often a millimeter difference between success and failure.”  In this case that was absolutely the truth, but it’s not always that easy.

 

Yesterday I spoke with an old friend who needs to do quite a bit of internal work before he would be prepared to become my client. It’s been many years since we last spoke, and I could tell by his recent employment history on his LinkedIn profile that the years have not been treating him well. He, too, had many short employment stints in the last five years. When I called him up and I heard his story, I knew that he’d been battered by the consequences of unintentional career choices that wound up being poor choices for him. Upon deeper conversation, some of his personal issues surfaced, which he thought was a different story, but actually they have everything to do with how things have been going in his life in general. Our lives are not so compartmentalized that if we have an issue in one area it doesn’t manifest in every other area. That’s why they used to say, “dirty pots, dirty bottoms.”

 

He’s been experiencing trauma – not physical trauma, but emotional and psychological trauma. As a result, his internal compass is off. What happens when your internal compass is off? You easily go off-course. He was hoping that I could help them get back on course. While I do help people understand how they can apply their skills and talents to different careers when necessary or when wanted, my processes do require that people have an accurate internal compass. I am not the expert to help people calibrate their internal compasses, but I know of many resources that they can turn to, so that’s how my evaluation went for him. I didn’t give him the answer he wanted to hear, which was that I could help him identify what is next career step should be, but I gave him the truth and I told him what his next steps should be to calibrate his internal compass. I encouraged him he could come back to me at any point for guidance or resources, and I look forward to hearing from him in the near future to hear about any clarity he was able to gain through some internal work, and at that point I’d be happy to work with him.

 

This consultation is representative of the multipurpose evaluations that I provide to ANYONE who completes the needs assessment form and sends me their résumé. These two documents help me identify the scope of working with someone, or they help me qualify or disqualify potential clients based on where they are at in their career discovery or transition process.  Many times I have been able to give people the advice or resource that they needed to correct their course and land a job in a free evaluation.

 

I would love more people to take advantage of this, so at the bottom of this page is the form that gives you access to the one-page needs assessment document that provides me with the background information that I need to performance your free résumé, LinkedIn profile and campaign evaluation.

 

Please share it and help us further our mission of helping people unveiled their brilliance.

 

 

How I saved myself from me

I beat myself up pretty bad sometimes. Last week was a doozy.  It seemed like anything that could go wrong did go wrong. Usually I know what to do to take myself out of a tailspin; I’ll plug my phone into the radio, and play some motivational, informational YouTube video try to find my center and gain a better perspective, perhaps Tony Robbins, Stephen Covey, Jim Rohn or Deepak Chopra, etc.  This was a futile effort, similar to when I try to meditate for just 15 minutes while I hope my kids play safely and quietly in another room, but I’ll hear them fight or get hurt or break something, and it’s as if I should never have tried to meditate in the first place. It’s as though I’m even more angry that I can’t just have 15 minutes to restore my energy and focus. Every attempt to find my center last week was interrupted by a variety of saboteurs: kids misbehaving, things breaking, technology not working, weather changes, unnecessary messes, plans being broken, sickness, infestations – you get the picture. I was looking forward to making progress on four major initiatives. There were client projects that I was excited to start or complete. I had administrative projects, like my taxes, that I was anxious to get done. On top of that, the dishes in the sink were piling up, the messes my kids were making were beginning to accumulate, and the cat box was in desperate need of changing. I was defeated and disappointed in myself. I felt swallowed by chaos. Been there?

 

Having shared with you before and knowing well that resilience is the number one quality of successful people, I garnered my grit. In spite of how I felt, I was somehow able to keep going.  Once I was over what I hoped to be the worst of it, I decided that I would make a list of everything that I was actually able to do that week in spite of the relentless kamikaze challenges.  After I made this list I felt powerful. Without my permission, Katy Perry’s Roar was playing loud in my head like an anthem. I was in awe of myself.

obstacles and achievementsobstacles and achievements p2

obstacles and achievements p3obstacles and achievements p4The next day, it was almost like I was challenging something to go wrong. I had my game face on, the one I learned to give pitchers when I finally gained confidence at the plate as a senior. I was like, “Go ahead and try me.” Coincidentally, it was one of the best days that I’ve had in a while. Things went pretty smoothly, until my throat became sore. I knew I was getting strep, because my girls just had it. I almost asked myself, “When will this ever end?” Then I laughed at myself – out loud.  The answer is: it won’t end. The good news is, I’m getting better at dealing with what comes while keeping my focus forward. I had no idea I was improving like this until I made that list.

 

We all beat ourselves up from time to time. That list of things we want to do does not seem to get shorter, and maybe it shouldn’t. The list of what we have to do will never be completely done as long as were alive. That’s just what’s so. I realize with magnified clarity that I am a warrior training to be able to handle bigger problems so that I can do bigger things in this world. That is how I choose to see it, and as long as I do, I have the power.  So, bring it!