Archives for “the secret”

You are a unicorn

Part 4 in the MindValley Reunion=Mind Blown series, which continues next week

 

I was never in a place where I could not afford diapers for my babies. Can you imagine that? However, I can absolutely relate to some financial low points in my life and very scary times when I wasn’t sure how we were going to keep our utilities on. You probably have a financial low point coming to your mind right now.

When I heard Lisa Nichol’s story many years ago, I was clear that she had decided and was committed to never being in that place again, and she was willing to do whatever it took. I had not yet learned what that really looked like until I saw her speak in the flesh at the MindValley Reunion last month in San Diego.

She was already an inspiring figure to me, and I had already been re-teaching what I had learned from her to my business students at Drexel University. She taught me the “Dip” formula for telling your story in such a way that the media and your audience beg to know more, and then also how to use your body and the senses to bring people fully into your story. Let me tell you – I was enthralled, and so were the other 800 people there. She captivated and MOVED the whole room.

By the time she was done, there was not a person there who had an excuse left to play it small in their lives.

She shared her story, including what “whatever it took” looked like, and I wondered how many would be willing to do what she was willing to do – to sacrifice what she was willing to sacrifice.

There is a quote that kept me going during leaner years when I had to forego family trips, nights out with the girls, clothes and new shoes, that kept me from feeling sorry for myself, and here are a couple of variations on this:

If you will live like no one else, later you can live and give like no one else. – Dave Ramsey, Author of Financial Peace and financial savior to millions!

“Entrepreneurship is living a few years of your life like most people won’t so you can spend the rest of your life like most people can’t.” – Warren G. Tracy’s student

Sometimes a few is more like 8 or 9, if you have the resolve and can maintain your means of living.

Lisa committed herself to writing a check to herself out of each pay check into a savings account with the memo note “funding my dreams.” Each week, she committed to giving more than the last. She had no role models to teach her about savings, and she sacrificed the small things at first that I would imagine you or I would be perfectly willing to go without – getting her hair and nails done, eating out (even McDonalds,) etc. Then she moved herself and her son out of her place in with a friend. She sold her car. She sacrificed and lived the words she spoke, “Conviction and convenience don’t live on the same block.”

After 3.5 years, she went to check her balance, and all the tellers knew her by name and from her memo line. “Hey, it’s the ‘funding my dreams lady!” And soon they were all there to share the miracle of the news – that she had managed to save $64,000!

You might have seen Lisa Nichols in The Secret, on Oprah, Steve Harvey, The Today Show, and any number of other platforms, including, of course, MindValley, where I was re-introduced to her.

While I cannot capture Lisa’s enigmatic presence that had an undeniable impact on the room, I captured some other very powerful quotes and phrases that I hope you will spend some time contemplating and ask yourself what you are willing to do for your dreams.

“Scare yourself [with your goals.]” That’s how you know they’re big enough.

“Hang out with people who aren’t keeping score.”

“You don’t need the rest of the 10,000 miles laid out before you step.”

“Play full out while you’re learning through it. Love yourself through the breakthroughs.”

“Hook your caboose to someone else’s train” if you need to gain some momentum.

“Speak to inspire, not to impress”

“Be willing to walk alone to attract a crowd.”

“Don’t buy in to who you see; see who they are becoming.”
I.E. Don’t assume you can tell someone’s station in life!

“Intimacy – In-to-me-I-see.”

“Care-frontation.” The act of speaking up and standing up for someone’s growth.

“Love so loud you can’t hear the noise” – AKA “radical love”

Consider what happens when you create a big goal… “When I reach for it, good stuff happens. Will I reach it? I don’t know, but I know this feels good.”

I did not take any notes during the time when Lisa walked through the crowd, as I was completely mesmerized by her and the obvious impact she was having on people, but I know she had us all convinced that we are unicorns – miracles, really, and we are doing no one any favors by neglecting to acknowledge our uniqueness, nor the gift that we are – we only diminish who we are by pretending that we can just take our unicorn horns off and be “normal.”

I made a sketch in my notebook of wings and a halo with a thought as I checked in with how I was feeling at that moment…

“I feel like a vibrational angel.” This would not be the last time I had this feeling during this weekend, with the pinnacle being when Don Miguel Ruiz spoke on Sunday morning.

More on the MindValley Reunion speakers next week. Make sure you follow me and/or subscribe to be notified of future posts.

 

In the meantime, be Epic, and share how these quotes impact you.

Peter Paul & Mary ~ The unicorn song

When I was growing up my best friend was a unicorn The others smiled at me and called me crazy But I was not upset by knowing I did not conform I always thought their seeing must be hazy. The unicorn and I would while away the hours Playing, dancing and romancing in the wild flowers And we’d sing…..

You’re Not Really Fooling Anyone with Positive Thinking

Brain-to-brain (B2B) communication system overview, PLOS ONE http://dx.doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0105225.g001

Brain-to-brain (B2B) communication system overview by PLOS ONE http://dx.doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0105225.g001

Every single person has encountered an obstacle while pursuing a goal, be it changing jobs, starting a company, selling a home, retiring, and on and on. What do you do when that obstacle is staring you down?  Do you freeze in fear, then come down on yourself for procrastinating? Do you resign that the obstacle will mow you down and let it? Do you run toward it with greater momentum to overcome the obstacle? Do you zigzag around the obstacle? Do you ask your friends to help you and march arm in arm toward that obstacle? Hopefully, you will do one of the latter because in the first two examples, you are the obstacle. Your perception of the obstacle’s size and power compared to your own could be the actual thing that prevents you from succeeding. Of course, you want to address these obstacles pragmatically, but if you don’t address them holistically, the pattern will recur and you will find yourself facing similar obstacles over and over again.

I have developed programs, such as our Dream Job Breakthrough System, tools such as the Epic Careering Took Kit, and of course the one-on-one coaching I have provided since starting 10 years ago. While these are PRACTICAL guides in how to execute a successful and optimal transition, I have a personal and professional obligation to address the EMOTIONAL components of a job search. Emotional components are what make the difference between my clients following the steps with integrity to successfully and swiftly land and prolonged job searches, weakened momentum, and lower quality job offers (compared to what they could develop).

Most people perceive positive thinking to mean that in spite of your doubts, fears, resentments, etc., you put on a happy face and fake it. This almost always fails. Being positive is not the same as thinking positive, and it takes conscious effort to alter subconscious patterns that have most likely been with you for most of your life, often go unnoticed until you know how to identify the symptoms (usually unhappiness and dissatisfaction), and have ingrained neural pathways.

Interviewers use six senses to evaluate and qualify candidates. Even if you are trying your best to disguise your innermost doubts and fears, the interviewer is using intuition to tune into them. Even if you have a killer résumé and an answer for everything, you could still emit negative thoughts and energy. Recruiters rely heavily on gut feelings and they will ask questions to validate them, so exactly what you may want to hide could be exactly what they will ask you about. Questions are not just designed to identify competence, but also to expose positive and negative behavioral and mental patterns. The agenda of the interview is to identify each candidate’s unique value and unique risk. As the candidate, you want the interview more focused on your value, but your fears around the potential risks you pose can sway the interview more heavily toward mitigating risks, which diminishes your ability to build a competitive case against other contenders.

If you interview during a period of self-doubt, you will instill little faith in your abilities. Likewise, if you walk into an interview perceiving the interviewer as an adversary, he or she will sense your antagonism and act accordingly. Consider yourself screened out. The same is true in negotiating. If you expect the person to turn down your counteroffer rather than attempt to find a win-win solution, you will be turned down and both of you will lose.

None of us can change over night, but our brains have plasticity, so we can exercise our brains into condition to do amazing things.  This explains a lot of the stories of people who have accomplished what many thought impossible. It requires practice and determination, just like training for a physical feat. You must have patience and forgiveness for yourself if you fall short and reward yourself for your efforts and progress.

Disclaimer: I am not qualified to give psychological advice and I am also prone to negative thinking and I face difficulties in reversing that thinking. However, over the past eight years, I have avidly studied human performance optimization, quantum physics, and neuroscience. I have invested well over 10,000 hours in this study, and have become much more adept at minimizing the friction that negative, self-limiting thoughts cause. I see and experience, so I believe in acknowledging, confronting, releasing, and replacing these thoughts with ones that produce the good results you hope your actions will have.

For instance, being self-employed brings with it many moments of uncertainty. I know I am in the profession that I was made for, however, finding the balance between investing in projects and products, and generating revenue and cash flow has been tricky, especially over these past four years as I build a mobile app and other low-price point job search tools and products. Once I made up my mind that I wanted to generate a regular, predictable income, and took inspired action, I not only generated multiple opportunities, but I also had several come out of the blue, and ultimately accepted a position that aligned me with a highly reputable, quality-focused outplacement provider (CCI Consulting) that enables me to do exactly what I love to do with as much flexibility as I want.

Meditation, prayer, writing, yoga, fitness, hiking/biking, and eating well have done wonders for my self-awareness and self-esteem. In addition, below are some resources that you can investigate on Amazon.com and there are even some free audio versions of the books on YouTube. Many of these can be found on CD or DVD:

7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey

The Miracle Morning, by Hal Elrod

Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill

The 8th Habit, by Stephen Covey

The Road Less Traveled, by M. Scott Peck, M.D.

How Full Is Your Bucket?, by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D.

The Brain That Changes Itself, by Norman Doidge

Radical Careering, by Sally Hogshead

Secrets of the Hidden Job Market, by Janet White

The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne

The Science of Getting Rich, by Wallace D. Wattles

Having It All, by John Assaraf

The Laws of Spirit, by Dan Millman

If you are like me, a questioner, according to Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies, you need to understand the science behind why investing time on your thoughts impacts your reality before you take any action. Here are some great books on that:

How Enlightenment Changes Your Brain: The New Science of Transformation, by Andrew Newberg and Mark Robert Waldman

The Biology of Belief, by Dr.Bruce Lipton

The Field, by Lynn McTaggart

The Intention Experiment (Read The Field first), by Lynn McTaggart

Being positive vs. thinking positive does not mean that you will suddenly become a perfect person; we are all still human. It means that you will have greater awareness when your thoughts are not serving you, and you will have tools to change their impact so that you will see better results more of the time.

 

This sounds like therapy, but I liken it to coaching because it is not as much about validation as it is about accountability. It is nice to understand how we became the way we are, but it is much more critical to our happiness to be empowered to change ourselves and our world.

 

Ahh. The end of the world as we know it.

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Over the past few years I have been doing some “light” reading on quantum physics in my “spare time.” I say it was light reading sarcastically; the content was so technical that I often had to re-read the same sentence several times to absorb its meaning. It was my “spare time” because I could rarely capture moments of silence to focus on these incredibly mind-flipping concepts. It took me a whole year to read one book (The Field by Lynn McTaggart.) It was substantiation that I needed, however.

When I first started Charésumé, The Secret was making its rounds in some of the circles in which I was networking. I didn’t read The Secret, but I did watch the video. I wanted to believe in the Law of Attraction (that which we focus on, we attract) because it meant that I had the power to create my circumstances and that I could create circumstances that led to success. At the same time, I didn’t want to believe in the Law of Attraction because it meant that my current circumstances, which were not very conducive to the success that I sought, were my creation as well. In the end, I wasn’t going to believe anything that had little scientific basis, so the books I read chronicled the progress of quantum physics studies and their implications on the universe and its laws. I found that some of the concepts in The Secret were supported by science.

So while I did have to confront that some of the unfavorable conditions in my life were my own doing, I also had to be proud of what I had accomplished knowing that it was more than luck. And, if I could figure out how to continually recreate the conditions that led to my successes, I might just reach all of my goals. I thought to myself, if I can just train myself to calibrate my energy, how easy it would be to make the impact and contribution that I’m driven to make with all of the collaboration and resources of an abundant universe.

In the past couple years I had been gaining a new understanding of reality while hype around the end of the Mayan calendar, prophesies of Nostradamus, and Harold Camping’s rapture predictions continued to build. It led me to wonder – if there was an end coming, maybe it was the end of thinking of ourselves as separate physical entities and the beginning of worldwide acceptance of our true energy nature. Furthermore, if the whole world understands the implications of their energy, then we can intentionally and naturally align ourselves with like-minded individuals who will give and receive generously to make things happen.

If this were the worldwide approach to success, everyone would approach careers from a starting point of passion and contribution. Adopting this paradigm requires that you have faith that the universe will furnish for you what you desire and what you need to fulfill on your missions, not just what you need to live.

The more I immerse myself in this new (to me) idea of reality, the more I meet people who have studied the same. Some of them have invested tens of thousands of dollars on their education, and they are realizing amazing results in their lives and careers. The old me might have met these people and believed that I was not on the same level, that I was unworthy of the kind of success that they have achieved, or that this level of success was for other people, not for me. Now, however, my recent breakthrough has allowed me to receive these people as kindred mentors and see myself as someone who can add value to them as well. Already (since mid-December) I have been approached for 2 jobs (I am not looking), was introduced to a powerful potential speaking partner, inspired 3 great talents to join my Board of Advisors for my mobile app, and managed to save money for the first time since I had kids. I’m learning new investment strategies and preparing the infrastructure of my life to support wealth, in anticipation of great wealth. I am asking new questions and getting new answers.

This is not the start of my journey, but I know it is a turning point. I am so grateful that you are reading this and that you are experiencing my journey with me. I would love to hear about your journeys. I hope you know me as someone who would jump at the chance to be of assistance to you. If I have wisdom, resources, or connections that will move you forward in an authentic direction, I am happy to offer it. I believe that this moment in time could be the end of the world as we know it, and what a wonderful world it could be if we change our approach to intention, vocation and collaboration.

Picture it. What would you give, do, have if you knew that money would always be there?

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