Archives for success

Every Mistake is an Opportunity to Grow

 

Recently, I had the incredible opportunity to attend the Young Entrepreneurs Academy CEO Roundtable (YEA!), where aspiring entrepreneurs were able to ask a CEO Panel some interesting questions. The insights of the CEOs was impressive – they were vulnerable and authentic, which inspired the kids of YEA, who came up with stellar questions!

Here are some of my favorite takeaways and insights:

Every mistake is an opportunity to grow.

Rev. Georgiette Morgan-Thomas of American Hats, LLC:
Staffing is the most difficult for us and it can be difficult to maintain the level of talent we’d like. Oftentimes, we get people looking for a job and what we need is someone who wants a profession, someone interested in making the product better. People aren’t willing to say I don’t know and be willing to learn a new skill. Turnover is very high. Things that appear to cut your labor costs aren’t always a good thing.

Her 5-year plan is to have more visits to their factory. Right now, they are conducting virtual tours and plan to do more in the near future. Because of this, she is now looking at the attitudes of her employees now that she has people visiting her factory.

She maintains a busy schedule by getting up at 3:30 AM to take the 5:15 AM Train from NYV to Philly. After a day of teaching hat trimming and design, she gets back home at about 10 PM. Her drive and passion keep her working through the weekend – she works Saturdays for 4-6 hours! She measures her success by the customers who come back, time and time again.

Howard Nelson Bear of Doggie Style Pets, the comp.bybusing service model and integrating into neighborhoods. Each store is customized for neighborhoods. The companies biggest challenge? Staffing! It’s hard to have a 5-year plan with as fast as things change.

Social responsibility has garnered brand loyalty and retention.

Rick Forman – says one of the biggest risks they face is deciding to pivot when you realize your original plan won’t work. Execution requires operating on all cylinders. You have to first have the secret sauce and the vision to bring a neighborhood alive.

Dumb is smart and smart is dumb.
You need to be curious.
Don’t be afraid to ask that question.
In order to be philanthropic, you have to make a profit.

Laura Kelly says that risk is making your stable successful in order to grow.
Entrepreneurs have many challenges and may find themselves getting taken in by shiny object syndrome. That’s what excites entrepreneurs – creation.

One of Laura’s goals is to have an instructor teaching kids in a thousand different locations. She works from home and doesn’t have a defined start/finish time. It’s a workday that just continues.

Some of the key takeaways from Laura were:

Successful people move forward in spite of fear. Fear is part of the price you pay.

A really strong team of experts is essential to growth.

Bill Mignucci – This too will pass. You’ll have that moment, and how you respond will define you. “I’ve been in the fetal position maybe even twice.” Fear doesn’t go away. It’s good to have a healthy dose of fear.

Some of the lessons learned from Bill:

Prioritization and defining and redefining your destination.

We aspire, and we may not achieve, but it’s key to keep your eye on the future. Growth is not just about economics, but about cause. Put in as much time as is healthy.

In his servant leadership model is flipped, he serves the employees rather than them supporting him. He does this to inspire them and to create a vision.

Who are some of your favorite entrepreneurs and what key takeaways have they shared with you?

Survivor – Eye Of The Tiger (Official Music Video)

Survivor’s official music video for ‘Eye Of The Tiger’. Click to listen to Survivor on Spotify: http://smarturl.it/SurvSpot?IQid=Surv… As featured on Ultimate Survivor. Click to buy the track or album via iTunes: http://smarturl.it/UltSurviTunes?IQid… Google Play: http://smarturl.it/SurvEOTTplay?IQid=… Amazon: http://smarturl.it/UltSurvAmz?IQid=Su… More from Survivor Burning Heart: https://youtu.be/Kc71KZG87X4 I Can’t Hold Back: https://youtu.be/GaMcsKtBDwE The Search IsOver: https://youtu.be/xELTfJ-ZVBc More great classic rock videos here: http://smarturl.it/ClassicRocks?IQid=…

Karen Huller, author of Laser-sharp Career Focus: Pinpoint your Purpose and Passion in 30 Days (bit.ly/GetFocusIn30), is founder of Epic Careering, a corporate consulting and career management firm specializing in executive branding and conscious culture, as well as JoMo Rising, LLC, a workflow gamification company that turns work into productive play. 

While the bulk of her 20 years of professional experience has been within the recruiting and employment industry, her publications, presentations, and coaching also draw from experience in personal development, performance, broadcasting, marketing, and sales. 

Karen was one of the first LinkedIn trainers and is known widely for her ability to identify and develop new trends in hiring and careering. She is a Certified Professional Résumé Writer, Certified Career Transition Consultant, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with a Bachelor of Art in Communication Studies and Theater from Ursinus College and a minor in Creative Writing. Her blog was recognized as a top 100 career blog worldwide by Feedspot. 

She is an Adjunct Professor in Cabrini University’s Communications Department and previously was an Adjunct Professor of Career Management and Professional Development at Drexel University’s LeBow College of Business  She is also an Instructor for the Young Entrepreneurs Academy where her students won the 2018 national competition and were named America’s Next Top Young Entrepreneurs.

How to Manage a Job Search on Top of it All

 

Before I start, let me be completely transparent- I do NOT have it all together. I feel overwhelmed and behind sometimes (many times.) And, I know I’m not alone – by far!

Also, let me give you kudos for taking on change. While I am sure there will be a great payoff for your efforts, in the meantime it can be quite scary. Our brain doesn’t like change. It tries to protect us with stress responses. This physiologically can limit our brain’s ability to handle stress we’d otherwise feel completely capable of handling, but you are growing and developing. It will feel like quite the bumpy ride until you adjust and form new habits to support new activity.

Just stay mindful – allow the stress. Welcome it, even. Dare I say be grateful for it. Forgive yourself for things that slip through the cracks. You’re learning to handle more, new things. You will find a rhythm as long as you can override your brain’s resistance and follow the tips I share here.

We all know by now that self-care is critical. That being said, we need support in doing so. I can’t just run off to the spa. Someone has to get done what I’d normally be getting done, like picking up the kids, or whatever (I’m getting overwhelmed just thinking about it.)

SET BOUNDARIES

Also, I’m self-employed, so technically I make my own schedule. However, that gives other people the illusion that I have more time, when really what it means that ANY time I am not working, I am missing earning opportunities, and money goes out the door. I am the only person who can create and enforce boundaries around my time, so I have to do just that. Sometimes I have to say no to things that I really want to do. It took some practice saying no to things I felt I “had to do.” If you’re an obliger, a la Gretchen Rubin’s 4 Tendencies, this is definitely against your nature, but necessary to avoid burnout.

ASK FOR/ACCEPT SUPPORT

Sometimes I feel as though people think I should be giving more support to them, so I don’t ask for it as often as I really need it, and by the time I do, I am in bad shape. It’s a cycle I recognize and am trying to break. I have to love myself through that. I’m also trying to stop martyring myself for the things I take on while silently overwhelmed. It’s my own standard for myself that causes such inner conflict.

If any of this martyring or self-neglect sounds familiar to you, quit it. Maybe like me, you learned somewhere that it was wrong to ask for help. I heard someone call this “rugged individualism” in a MindValley masterclass last week. She was referring to a value growing in popularity in America that is causing increasing loneliness at epidemic levels. Vishen Lakhiani, MindValley’s founder, reported, and research supports, that loneliness has been found to be more lethal than 15 cigarettes a day. According to studies it contributes to suicide, which seems pretty common sense. But did you know that it’s also linked to Alzheimer’s disease, immune and cardio-vascular deficiencies, and neuroendocrine changes?

Perhaps we need to be better at reaching out for help, and perhaps if we receive more help we’ll feel more capable and willing to give help to others. What I have experienced is that too many of us feel incapable of handling helping others because we don’t feel supported. So, people you ask may not give you support for this reason. And you may feel hesitant to ask someone you feel is overwhelmed themselves. Getting a no might feel worse than trying to cope on your own. If your mental state is already fragile, it can be hard to not make that “no” mean something about you – you’re unworthy, unlikeable, doomed, etc.

Somehow, this cycle has to break. Go about asking for support with the expectation that you might get 1 yes for every 10 nos, and it has nothing to do with you. Everyone is fighting a battle you can’t see. Vow to be supportive of others once you get yourself stabilized and follow through.

MAKE TIME FOR REFLECTION/MINDFULNESS

I have become aware of my tendencies through reflection, journaling, meditation, and personal development immersion. However, the awareness at first is painful. Again, I have to allow that pain and be grateful for it because it means I am growing. I don’t always have time for this reflection. That, I feel, is the biggest danger in society today. So many of us are too busy to consider how we can respond better to stress, conflict, etc., so we defend our actions and opinions fiercely. This stifles our emotional intelligence and leads to continued conflict.

I know – on top of making time for job search activities I’m also suggesting that you make time for reflection and emotional health. That might seem like a bit much, but if you are going to expand your capacity to do anything, you have to mind your mind. Going through the motions of your job search activities and a campaign is a surefire way to get mediocre results and prolong landing. So much of your success depends on the impression that you give other people. You have to be “on” most of the time.

Facing some disappointments isn’t necessarily inevitable, but it is to be expected. Mindfulness promotes resilience so that you can bounce back sooner, and reflecting will help you recognize how you can perform better next time.

LEVELING UP

Besides just making sure that you are mentally, physically, and emotionally rested to handle the added stress, you can also level up your capacity by mastering flow. Flow is a word that describes a heightened state of mind that occurs when you are fully immersed in an activity and your skills express themselves subconsciously, without conscious effort. What neuroscience has taught us is that we can recreate this state of mind, which we normally experience with activities that we enjoy deeply, to tackle more challenges with ease. Perhaps it doesn’t seem like the time to take on learning a whole different skill set. That might be true. It could also be true, however, that if you invest time in the front end learning and applying a fraction of the practical science of flow that your job search will be accelerated and help you land an even more ideal scenario. Is it smarter to use your time to start whacking away at the tree you want felled, or is it smarter to sharpen the ax first? Is it smarter to plan ahead to where you want the tree to go and make precise cuts to direct the tree where it’s safe to land? Which brings me to my next tip:

KNOW YOUR TARGET

Even if you’re desperate to land quickly and even if you think that any situation is better than the one you’re in, I’ve witnessed too many hasty, but “successful” searches result in a cascade of even worse scenarios. Don’t assume that you can’t afford to be picky; you can’t afford to NOT be picky! Don’t assume that you’ll land faster if you set your goals lower. As good as you think you can fake being motivated, most employers see past this, and they’ll look right past you to candidates who aren’t at risk of disengagement. You’re more likely to land a job that excites you, and good employers want to give employees opportunities to grow and expand.

Your brain knows better, and you need to leverage every brain hack known today to keep up your motivation to face challenges. That requires having a goal that excites you. Even if you achieve 80% of your ideal scenario, you’ll enjoy a much better outcome than targeting only what you think is achievable. Challenge yourself on this. Assuming what’s easy is best is just your brain protecting you from scary change. You can handle it!

HABITS and BELIEFS – OUT WITH THE OLD; IN WITH THE NEW

Mindfulness usually leads us to make new discoveries about why we have fallen short of our goals in the past, and in most cases, it’s 1 of 2 things: Habits or beliefs. Both of these either takes discipline to change, or hypnosis to change – your choice. Hypnosis is safe (though vastly misunderstood) and quick. Discipline takes longer, but proving you have discipline can help you unlock greater confidence. Just don’t conclude that you can’t achieve something because you fell short in discipline. Hypnosis is still an option. So many people turn to hypnosis as a last resort only to wish they’d done it sooner.

There are a ton of devices and apps available to keep you reminded and on track if you choose discipline.

Of course, you may also want to engage a partner who will help you make sure the time you have to invest in your job search is invested in the wisest most results-producing resources and activities, who will offer emotional support and help you find other kinds of support, and who is experienced, trained and certified in modalities that support habit development. (Wink, wink 😉

 

The Police – So Lonely Video

Listen to more from The Police: https://ThePolice.lnk.to/Essentials Explore the incredible history of The Police and this classic song here: http://www.udiscovermusic.com/artists/the-police Listen to The Police playlists here: http://playlists.udiscovermusic.com/playlist/the-police-best-of Experience The Police on Half Speed Mastered Vinyl LP: https://lnk.to/CfAvq Music video by The Police performing So Lonely. (C) 1980 A&M Records Ltd.

Karen Huller, author of Laser-sharp Career Focus: Pinpoint your Purpose and Passion in 30 Days (bit.ly/GetFocusIn30), is founder of Epic Careering, a corporate consulting and career management firm specializing in executive branding and conscious culture, as well as JoMo Rising, LLC, a workflow gamification company that turns work into productive play. 

While the bulk of her 20 years of professional experience has been within the recruiting and employment industry, her publications, presentations, and coaching also draw from experience in personal development, performance, broadcasting, marketing, and sales. 

Karen was one of the first LinkedIn trainers and is known widely for her ability to identify and develop new trends in hiring and careering. She is a Certified Professional Résumé Writer, Certified Career Transition Consultant, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with a Bachelor of Art in Communication Studies and Theater from Ursinus College and a minor in Creative Writing. Her blog was recognized as a top 100 career blog worldwide by Feedspot. 

She is an Adjunct Professor in Cabrini University’s Communications Department and previously was an Adjunct Professor of Career Management and Professional Development at Drexel University’s LeBow College of Business  She is also an Instructor for the Young Entrepreneurs Academy where her students won the 2018 national competition and were named America’s Next Top Young Entrepreneurs.

Difference Between Excuses and Obstacles

 

My oldest daughter, Daisy (8), is very bright and pretty strong for a string bean, so when she gives me excuses as to why things aren’t done, it’s really hard to except them. Usually, I push back telling her that I’m confident that she can solve the problem and get the job done, whatever the job is.  When she is forced to come up with a solution and finish the job, because it’s not getting done for her, she does find ways to solve the problem. Often she’s so proud of how she solved the problem she forgot that she didn’t want to do the job in the first place.  I really wouldn’t be doing her any favors by doing everything for her. It’s not my job; my job is to help her become a self-sufficient adult.

When she starts to complain that she can’t do something, she gets in trouble, because “can’t” is not a word I allow in my house. It’s always “I don’t know how yet.” I don’t know when she’ll learn, but if it’s the only thing I teacher, she will learn to know the difference between an excuse, an empowered choice, and an obstacle.

Excuses don’t serve anyone.

As we’re going into the third week in January, many people find that their resolve starts diminishing while others notice some desired improvements and that changes are easier this week than they were last week. It’s make or break time for your new habits, and I want to share something that will make you more self-aware of when you might sabotage yourself so that you can overcome what makes 80% of people fail at keeping new years resolutions.

This year will be different for you!

How Elrod, author of The Miracle Morning, breaks out the stages habit forming as such –

Unbearable >>  Uncomfortable >> Unstoppable

During all of those stages, however, life happens. Until a habit is an automatic, unconscious choice, we have to constantly make decisions to follow through. Our brain doesn’t like change and constantly tries to help us get out of it. We have to be aware of this if we are going to override it. Pay attention to your self-talk during these decisive moments. You may just notice a pattern that has stopped you multiple times throughout your life, which gives you the potential for tremendous breakthroughs in every area of your life. Keeping a journal is a great way to track, measure and improve how frequently this self-talk interferes with keeping long-term goals.

When you notice this, start to reverse the self-talk in support of the long-term goal.

For instance, one thing I’ve noticed I have said in those moments:

“You deserve a treat. Don’t deprive yourself.”

But I also deserve to be happy and healthy, and if I’m not currently happy or healthy and the short-term desire doesn’t offer me long-term health or happiness, it isn’t offering me the SUCCESS I deserve.

I am not saying that I should deprive myself all the time, but the more I notice this thought and decide that I will delay gratification and treat myself in a way that will still enable me to keep on track, the less frequently I will give in to this self-talk.

Keep the long-term desire as visible as you can. Write it down or print out visual queues and post them where you are sure to see them frequently. It will be easier to keep your brain motivated toward the long-term goal versus whatever you think you want in the moment. You are 1.2 – 1.4 times more likely to achieve your goals if you do this.

Some things we have to legitimately prioritize higher than our goals and take care of, such as health emergencies. It’s not an excuse it is an empowering choice. Still, I know from my own personal experience that in the midst of goals in life challenges to achieving those goals, I probably gave up too soon on too many. That is not an empowering feeling.

A question I now ask myself and my daughter if I feel that I have to choose between an urgent priority and a long-term goal is, “Did I try everything? Is there a way to do both?”

For instance, my daughters and I came down with a chest cold last week, the second week I should have been back on my walking schedule after winter break. Usually, I walk the kids to school at least 4 out of 5 days and on 3 of those days do an extended 5K walk back home. It’s winter, but it was REALLY winter last week – windy and cold. I made an empowered choice to drive in the morning and afternoon. That could have been an excuse to not exercise at all. I even looked it up on google “Can you exercise with a chest cold?” What I found was that exercise in moderation is really good at helping to break up chest congestion. So, I did a dance class Monday and some yoga with resistance and basketball Friday.  Those days in between I just needed extra sleep. I did what I could, though.

If I had learned that exercising with a chest cold is bad, I would have made an empowering choice to rest.

Today, I’m back on my walking schedule. It actually feels harder to restart a goal than to start it in the first place, as Gretchen Rubin points out in Better Than Before.  It’s probably because you are more discouraged this time knowing how life got you off track, but if you can fight through to start again and keep up progress, you are more likely to get back on track in the future and reach your long-term goals.

In fact, if you can accept from the get-go that you will be able to roll with whatever life throws you and get back on track when challenges occur you will be less likely to see them as discouraging. And, had I not exercised in spite of not walking, my self-confidence and self-talk would make it that much harder to get back on track, because the problem would have been me – not my chest cold or the weather.

If the available data turns up no potential solutions, you are at an impasse – an obstacle. Don’t let the word fool you, though. Obstacles are almost always not permanent and new data and new solutions still may be possible. This may be when you ask for help from an expert, but you have to pick an expert who understands the nature of your particular obstacle.

For instance, if your parental responsibilities keep interfering with your ability to keep commitments to yourself around your goals, you need someone who has successfully navigated parenthood AND reached the other side. Furthermore, if you are a single parent, getting advice from a parent with a partner will not sound credible to you.

If your resolutions are career-oriented and you have any of the following challenges or obstacles, I can help you exponentially increase your chances of achieving your 2019 goals – set up a consultation:

On the job (Schedule a consultation):

  • Teams that resist change
  • Drama and lack of collaboration
  • High turnover
  • Frequent sick time
  • Lack of creative solutions
  • High disengagement/low productivity
  • Not attracting high caliber talent

In job transition (Schedule a consultation):

  • Unclear goals
  • Lack of results for time invested
  • Lack of responses
  • Always the runner up
  • Hate job seeking
  • Difficulty getting motivated
  • Not knowing what to do each day

Best wishes for an extraordinary 2019!

I get knocked down (Chumbawamba – Tubthumping)

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Karen Huller, author of Laser-sharp Career Focus: Pinpoint your Purpose and Passion in 30 Days (bit.ly/GetFocusIn30), is founder of Epic Careering, a corporate consulting and career management firm specializing in executive branding and conscious culture, as well as JoMo Rising, LLC, a workflow gamification company that turns work into productive play. 

While the bulk of her 20 years of professional experience has been within the recruiting and employment industry, her publications, presentations, and coaching also draw from experience in personal development, performance, broadcasting, marketing, and sales. 

Karen was one of the first LinkedIn trainers and is known widely for her ability to identify and develop new trends in hiring and careering. She is a Certified Professional Résumé Writer, Certified Career Transition Consultant, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with a Bachelor of Art in Communication Studies and Theater from Ursinus College and a minor in Creative Writing. Her blog was recognized as a top 100 career blog worldwide by Feedspot. 

She was an Adjunct Professor of Career Management and Professional Development at Drexel University’s LeBow College of Business, will be an Associate Professor in Cabrini University’s Communications Department in 2019,  and is also an Instructor for the Young Entrepreneurs Academy where her students won the 2018 national competition and were named America’s Next Top Young Entrepreneurs.

Shake Off Shame of Unmet 2018 Goals Before You Set New Goals

 

If you have any amount of ambition, you set goals.  Setting goals can be formal and structured, even coached, or it can be just a daydream that becomes an intention. If you do the former, then you have a written record of your 2018 goals. If the latter, take a bit of time right now to write down what you had hoped to accomplish in 2018, even if it was progress toward something you hope to happen in 2019 and beyond.

It’s time to review them before you set new goals for 2019. How does this make you feel?

If you’re excited to take them out, then you probably feel like or know that you have been consistently disciplined and motivated in taking action toward your goals, so you are probably confident that you reached all or most or came pretty close.  Take a look at the goals you didn’t achieve and if you experience any physiological changes when switching from your achieved goals to your unachieved goals, read on. If not, just keep doing what you did, and consider teaching it to the 97% of people who don’t engage in formal goal setting.

If you feel hesitant, if there is any inkling that you are afraid to look, you are already experiencing shame about potentially unmet 2018 goals.

It’s okay.  Just notice how you feel and note your awareness. There’s no sense in feeling shameful about feeling shameful. Give yourself 90 seconds to really be with this emotion. Notice where in your body you feel it.  It might be your forehead if your unmet goals lead to worry about the consequences. You might feel it in your shoulders and neck, or your chest or your stomach, but don’t be surprised if pain shows up somewhere unexpected, like a knee or fingers.

Once you’ve taken this time to allow these emotions to be, feel proud that you honored these emotions. Feel your heart open and send thoughts of gratitude for this new awareness, which you will use to set goals that are achievable and in alignment with your highest good.

Take a deep breath in, imagining that the new breath is new resolve, and then breathe out focusing on the spot where the sensations were the most intense and imagine the emotion is being channeled out. Take two more deep breaths, imagining that the resolve is now filling the space where the emotions were.

Now that you have allowed this energy to be in motion (“e-motion”) you will be able to review last year’s goals with a clearer mind and less judgment, which will enable you to better assess why you really didn’t achieve them. This is what’s really important in setting new goals that you are more likely to achieve.

If you don’t allow your energy to move, you might be inclined to be defensive and look at circumstances that prevented you from achieving your goals, which is fine, but ultimately leaves you disempowered to circumstances.

If you allow the shame to move through you, you can more clearly see where you could have been at cause for the outcomes, good or bad. It will be easier to take accountability without feeling self-blame. You become a better problem solver because you are now dealing with a reality you control, so you set up systems that enable you to achieve your goals, even with unfavorable circumstances. Take into consideration these and other potential circumstances, and make the plan now on how you will deal with them in 2019.

You may have already heard that you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals when you write them down. Additionally, Harvard Business School found that the 3% of MBA graduates who wrote down their goals earned 10X more than the 97% that didn’t over a 10-year period.

There are a ton of great goal guides and calendars or you can break down your goals into various project parts and milestones and put them into a project management app that will send you notifications like Asana.  You may also use the SMART method that I taught business students at Drexel University. You can also engage a coach like me to give you extra customized guidance and provide you with monthly external accountability some people need to maintain their progress.

Elle King – Shame (Official Video)

‘Shake the Spirit’ available now: http://smarturl.it/ShakeTheSpirit?IQid=yt iTunes: http://smarturl.it/xShame/itunes?IQid=yt Apple: http://smarturl.it/xShame/applemusic?IQid=yt Spotify: http://smarturl.it/xShame/spotify?IQid=yt Amazon:http://smarturl.it/xShame/az?IQid=yt Tidal: http://smarturl.it/xShame/tidal?IQid=yt Google Play:http://smarturl.it/xShame/googleplay?IQid=yt Follow Elle King: https://www.facebook.com/ElleKingMusic https://twitter.com/ElleKingMusic http://instagram.com/elleking http://elleking.com/ Directed by: Dano Cerny

Karen Huller, author of Laser-sharp Career Focus: Pinpoint your Purpose and Passion in 30 Days (bit.ly/GetFocusIn30), is founder of Epic Careering, a corporate consulting and career management firm specializing in executive branding and conscious culture, as well as JoMo Rising, LLC, a workflow gamification company that turns work into productive play. 

While the bulk of her 20 years of professional experience has been within the recruiting and employment industry, her publications, presentations, and coaching also draw from experience in personal development, performance, broadcasting, marketing, and sales. 

Karen was one of the first LinkedIn trainers and is known widely for her ability to identify and develop new trends in hiring and careering. She is a Certified Professional Résumé Writer, Certified Career Transition Consultant, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with a Bachelor of Art in Communication Studies and Theater from Ursinus College and a minor in Creative Writing. Her blog was recognized as a top 100 career blog worldwide by Feedspot. 

She was an Adjunct Professor of Career Management and Professional Development at Drexel University’s LeBow College of Business, will be an Associate Professor in Cabrini University’s Communications Department in 2019,  and is also an Instructor for the Young Entrepreneurs Academy where her students won the 2018 national competition and were named America’s Next Top Young Entrepreneurs.

 

A Power Mantra for Next-level Professionals

So What by Paolo Mazzoleni on Flickr

So What by Paolo Mazzoleni on Flickr

Two weeks ago I was going through my brother’s senior yearbook. Underneath the seniors’ pictures were captions, including favorite phrases. My niece had some trouble properly pronouncing one of my brother’s choices: “Buuuudy.” This was a quote from one of the 80s most unlikely phenomenons, Pauley Shore. It occurred to me that if he knew nearly 30 years later these phrases would be immortalized and read by his kids, he might have chosen other words, but he was 17.

I took a look at my own senior year caption. It was definitely not what my 40-year-old self would have wanted to immortalize.

So, what would I immortalize now?

I might choose something timeless. There was a phrase that I learned when I had a door-to-door sales job, which became my mantra, “Some will; some won’t; so what? NEXT!”

I still find this completely valid. That door-to-door job I worked one summer was brutal in many ways – hours of walking alone in a suit, even when it was hot and humid, even in sketchy neighborhoods with high crime and incidences of drive-by shootings. It certainly made me more street smart and thick-skinned.

Even though being successful in that job depended upon people (business owners) liking and trusting me, I learned that I didn’t need EVERYONE to like and trust me. Some people just won’t, and the faster I moved on and let go, the faster I could get to the person who would say yes.

With that realization came a level of freedom I hadn’t yet known, and so many of my past pains around not being accepted started to dissolve. Thinking about it now, this was most likely the first taste of personal development that became a hunger, and at times an obsession. I needed that to get to the next level in my profession after that job, and this mantra helped me make better choices. I remind myself of it each time I want to get to the next level, which usually comes with increased visibility…and vulnerability.

I’ve been striving ever since that realization to master being my best self by my OWN standards, and to enjoy freedom in accepting myself, while reconciling how to be the cause of transformation at the scale that I feel is necessary to really make the impact on corporate careering, hiring and engagement that I am driven to make.

So, while it can be fun and freeing to throw caution to the wind when it comes to social media, the consequences of doing that may not align with what you want for the long-term – your BIGGER why.

I’m not advising you to be anyone different for anyone’s sake. Lisa Sasevich, offer communication coach, shared a lesson her father, a famous ventriloquist, taught her, “Don’t change your act, change your audience.”

I finally got around to watching The Greatest Showman last night. If you haven’t seen it, I won’t spoil it for you. I will tell you that while it was inspiring, it was also a warning to not let your desire for acceptance compromise what really matters in life.

My hypnotherapy hero, Marisa Peer, has worked with royalty and rock stars, and shares just how common it is for highly successful people to suffer from not feeling like enough. In fact, it’s what drives them to achieve. Barnum was no different in the movie’s portrayal. The drive to build something extravagant was fed by his need to be accepted. So, sometimes the need for approval can be purposeful and can fuel some big dreams. However, it was also almost the demise of all he held dear.

When being intentional about your brand (you have one whether your conscious of it or not,) remember to honor who you are and what is most important to you in the grand scheme of your life.

Besides, what kind of happiness do you think you can obtain by becoming someone else? How long can that last?

You can be successful and authentic.

What I want people to get about their brand is that it doesn’t mean just mean putting something out into the world to increase your visibility or engagement. A brand AT ITS BEST is an intentional outreach designed to resonate with and attract people who enrich your network and life experience.

If your boss enriches your life, say with a paycheck, and you want to keep that paycheck, then put things out into the world that your boss would appreciate. This implies that you would take time to understand what he or she appreciates and allows before you create and put it out there. However, if you’d rather have a different boss who lets you do you, make sure what you put out in the world reaches that kind of boss, resonates with him or her or them, and inspires them to take action.

Be willing to let go of people, like your current boss, who just don’t get you. And, be willing to give up the paycheck, too. And if you’re not, make an empowered choice to play by your boss’s rules until you gain the freedom to do you.

“Are you picking up what I’m putting down?”

That’s my favorite, more modern version of the mantra, which was the most valuable part of my door-to-door sales experience.

The freedom in this mantra comes from unapologetically and without attachment to the outcome declaring, “This is what I’m doing whether you’re with me or not. If you’re not, I’ll find somebody else who will. If you are, let’s get to work.”

If people aren’t picking up what you’re putting down, consider changing the audience, not the act.

They may not resonate with you at the moment. They may have their own set of blinders, or other priorities. It’s not personal. Move on.

P!nk – So What

P!nk’s official music video for ‘So What’. Click to listen to P!nk on Spotify: http://smarturl.it/PSpot?IQid=PSW As featured on Greatest Hits…So Far!!!.

Karen Huller, author of Laser-sharp Career Focus: Pinpoint your Purpose and Passion in 30 Days (bit.ly/GetFocusIn30), is founder of Epic Careering, a career management firm specializing in the income-optimizing power of social media and personal branding, as well as JoMo Rising, LLC, a workflow gamification company that turns work into productive play. While the bulk of her 20 years of professional experience has been within the recruiting and employment industry, her publications, presentations, and coaching also draw from experience in personal development, performance, broadcasting, marketing, and sales.

Karen was one of the first LinkedIn trainers and is known widely for her ability to identify new trends in hiring and personal marketing. She is a Certified Professional Résumé Writer and Certified Career Transition Consultant and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with a Bachelor of Art in Communication Studies and Theater from Ursinus College and a minor in Creative Writing. Her blog was recognized as a top 100 career blog worldwide by Feedspot.

She was an Adjunct Professor of Career Management and Professional Development at Drexel University’s LeBow College of Business and recently instructed for the Young Entrepreneurs Academy at Cabrini College, where her students won the national competition and were named America’s Top Young Entrepreneurs.

How to Stay on the Same Side when Negotiating Salary

Everyone’s only out for themselves.  It’s a dog-eat-dog world. Maybe that’s what you have been taught. And if you bought it, you will see evidence reinforcing it everywhere. You believe it, and so it is your reality.

If so, the techniques I share in this blog are not for you. If you struggle to give people the benefit of the doubt, you will use negotiation tactics that are defensive. And, if you feel like you are struggling for power and losing, your approach may even border on adversarial.

If you struggle to trust a company even though it seems to be on the up and up, you will assume they are hiding something, and it will reveal itself in due time. In the meantime, you cover all your bases and feel compelled to constantly cover your … butt. In your professional work, if you feel the need to be competitive with others for attention, credit, prominence, and pay, you will assume others go to great lengths to win and that justifies you doing the same.

You are the last person my clients want work with, work for, or hire.

Why? You will most likely insist on being the last one to reveal your ask, even when pressed. You will try to circumvent the people in the company who are expected to ensure policy is followed for fairness and consistency. You may not even realize your bias against human resources.

You won’t believe what I am about to advise, so you might as well stop reading here.

If you consider yourself to be a moral, ethical person who believes that people are generally good and fair, you have found yourself disgusted by some things you have experienced in cut-throat corporate America. Even if you know there are good people out there, you may not have a lot of faith they can stay good in a system that promotes gaining profit (corporate and personal) over all else.

That being said, you want and deserve to be paid fairly. And there are so many great things you want to do with excess income that would enhance your life, help your family, and perhaps serve many others.

I have a deep compulsion to help you earn as much as possible within your market value range.  The truth is everyone wants a fair deal. I want that for you. You want that for you. And I want that for your employer, too. Why? Because when a company gets ROI on its talent, and it is a conscious corporation, it will reinvest profits in its people. And that is what we are all about.

A lot of companies say their people are their number one asset, but how many of them demonstrate it consistently? Finding out if a company really means it is getting easier (and we are working in making it even easier). And these companies will do the right thing by their people – and that’s when everyone wins.

If you want to stay on the same side with your employer during compensation negotiations, the first thing to do is due diligence: qualify that employer as a conscious company. Glassdoor, Top Places To Work lists, and the tenure and growth of its people historically (information you may be able to assess on LinkedIn) are resources you can use to do this. Then, of course, reach out directly to people on the inside to see if what you gather is substantiated.

The second thing you must do is understand what the market pays for your skills, experiences and talents. You can do this through online research on bls.gov, the salary estimates on Indeed (in the left column), reports on salary.com, and Glassdoor data. I recommend that you always ask a local recruiter who niches in your field to validate what you find. Make sure your data is based on local positions, or you adjust them based on your local cost of living.

Next, determine how you uniquely add value to this. In the nearly 12 years I have been a career coach, I have always been able to identify unique qualifiers for my clients, which is the essence of branding. Often there are monetary values attributed to those unique qualifiers, which can be qualities or hard skills. These can either push you into the upper ranges of market value, or move you above market value. Either way, you must be prepared to justify these clearly in a business case for your employer.

Whether you want to make a fair ask that enables the company to get ROI on you, or you are a top performer and the company knows how to leverage and develop you, they will aim to make 1.75x your salary. You may have a role traditionally considered to be in a “cost center” for a company, such as customer or technical support, but make no mistake – each and every role in a company was designed to contribute to the balance sheet in some way. If you’re not directly generating revenue directly, you are making it more possible, or you are helping to reduce costs or avoid shut-down/fines.  When you understand how your role contributes in this way, you can ensure that your ask is fair and that your reasons for believing this can be clearly articulated.

If your research indicates that the market value for your current position won’t meet your quality of life standards, it’s time to re-evaluate your career. And if you are unsure if the market value will support your needed standard quality of life and also provide a retirement you desire with the future quality of life you want, it’s time to get with a financial advisor. I am happy to make a referral. Just private message me.

Notice I haven’t said anything about your prior compensation. In spite of some companies’ and recruiting firms’ practices of determining your future value by your current value, your past or current compensation is not an accurate determination of your future value at all. It may be a reflection, however, of your self-worth. The branding journey we take our clients on helps them feel in alignment with their true market value and overcome the mental mindset that can develop from being underpaid and undervalued.

Lastly, what do you ask for and how do you come to an agreement with your employer while still keeping things friendly? After all, this is the first big decision you will make together. How you come to an agreement sets the tone for the commencement of the partnership, and it will influence your impression of each other from that point forward. Don’t you want to feel like you’re on the same team?  You each have an agenda, but the negotiation is really about finding the overlap and understanding the other party.

I am not one to advise people to refuse to answer questions about desired or expected salary.  Some of my peers, and even mentors, would.  If you feel like you might be taken advantage of by divulging your ask too soon, then you don’t trust this company. Maybe you wouldn’t trust any company? Or perhaps you didn’t qualify them as a company worthy of your trust? If you are the former, you probably should have stopped reading very early on. If you are the latter, do NOT enter into negotiations until you learn that the company is trustworthy, conscious, and invests in its people.

Instead of “holding your cards close to your chest,” I recommend boldly coming out with a reasonable range, data to back it up, and a business case to explain if you are asking for more than what the position usually pays. Keep in mind, ethical or not, when a person hears a range, they focus on what they are inclined to focus on in order to achieve their agenda. An unconscious company will want to get talent for as little money as possible. And a conscious company will not want to overpay for talent, because it hurts the company and inhibits their ability to re-invest in their talent.

Both examples will hear the low end of your range. So right after giving the range, discuss what conditions would have to be met in order for you to accept the low end, then swiftly explain how the company will benefit from investing in you on the high end.  Your low end must still support your current standard of living. Don’t give a low end that will leave you feeling slighted if offered, even though a conscious corporation would offer you good reasons for doing so.

Collegial negotiations are not just dependent what you say, though. It’s really more about how you are being – are you expecting the company will find your ask reasonable and do what they can to bring about the best possible outcome for both parties? If not, you probably should have stopped reading much earlier. This method will not work if you are suspicious. Authenticity is key here.

Lastly, leave the door open for them to ask questions and counter-offer. If a counter-offer seems way off your ask, ask them to help you understand, while giving them the benefit of the doubt that they have their reasons.

True story: I was trained in negotiating with candidates and employers as a recruiter. In my annual review shortly after that I was expecting a raise since I had been promoted in title. As trained, I did my research. In this annual review situation, it’s not customary to make an ask, as you’ve probably experienced. I anticipated my raise to be 50% above what I was making and instead it was a 10% raise. I had been underpaid my whole career prior to that, and armed with this new training, I was ready to earn fair compensation.  My boss, the VP of Sales – a master negotiator, had trained us to engage clients and candidates in further discussion when agendas didn’t align with the request, “Help me understand.” It became an inside joke, but in all fairness, it works, and it worked on him, too. I don’t have a poker face and I’m sure my disappointment in the offer was all over my face, so I took a deep breath and earnestly said, “Help me understand. I did research and based on the data, my compensation should be X.” I pointed to recent successes and things I had done outside of the scope of my role. He wanted to take a closer look at the data himself, and discuss it with the finance department and CEO.  They came back with a raise that was in my range, and a bit above the median. I, thankfully, had a conscious boss and CEO who wanted to pay talent fairly. 

The training I had was not the same as what I see other negotiation coaches promoting. It was designed to help three parties get on the same page, the employer, the candidate and the recruiting firm.  Our agenda was to keep strong relations with the employer to supply future talent needs, and to help our candidates earn as much as possible so that they stick and so that our share increased.  I used this training to increase my own salary by 50% and finally earn market value, and now I’m sharing it with you so that you can earn your fair share too.

 

If you would like to have guidance and support in qualifying conscious employers, understanding your unique market value, formulating and making your ask at the right time, reverse-engineering your career to align with your desired quality of life, and/or crafting counter-offers, e-mail Karen@epiccareering.com with the subject line: Make My Career Epic.

 

The Searchers – Take Me For What I’m Worth 1965

The Searchers – Take Me For What I’m Worth 1965

Is the Dominant Emotion of Your Company’s Culture Fear? Here’s a Simple Quiz to Find Out.

Photo courtesy of Lesley Van Damme (https://bit.ly/2H9l9Wd). Some rights reserved.

Marketing psychology has taught me that people are motivated to make a change or a purchase in order to either move toward something desirable or away from something undesirable. And the latter tends to be a more powerful motivator for most. I predict in coming years this will shift as a natural evolutionary byproduct of the technological revolution, provided we use technology as a tool for solving our major problems.

It certainly has the potential to, yet it remains unclear how this will translate to effectively solving our people-based problems. For now, a companies’ major tools to address people-based problems are training, standard operating procedures, coaching, and culture.

Some companies manage this better than others. It appears to me, based on job seeker targeting, public stock prices and other evidence of growth, that companies focused on proactively moving in a positive direction culturally are doing better than companies merely trying to avoid major crises. One is driven by desire, while the other is driven by fear. You can liken it to playing offense versus defense.

A very powerful verse from Living the Wisdom of the Tao by Wayne Dyer [captured below and mentioned here] helped me realize that when you are focused on the highest good and being the best version of yourself, you no longer have a need to regulate bad behavior.

So, when a company is operating with integrity and effectively nurturing a culture of inclusion, empathy, mutual respect, optimized personal and professional development and acceptance, it rarely needs to focus on problems like harassment, bias, discrimination, disengagement, bullying, ethical violations, and high turnover.

Perhaps you feel I am oversimplifying this, and admittedly, there are other factors that need to be considered as well, such as employee compensation structures and hiring practices. If you follow me, you have certainly heard me stress the importance of self-awareness and how all transformations begin with that. Here again, it is definitely important to have the ability to recognize if this is a systemic issue in your organization.

If your company is adequately able to do this, at least you’re on the front end of what could be a positive evolutionary turn for your company. A company, just like a team, needs both a good offense and defense to win.

What stage of transformation has your company achieved? Are they instituting new policies, practices, procedures or tools based on avoiding problems? Or are they moving toward a more ideal corporate well-being?

As the technical evolution accelerates exponentially, I predict the latter companies are going to survive and the former companies will eventually die. And so, you too must go from playing defense to playing offense. I advise you to plan and manage your career accordingly.

Here is a quiz that will let you know which category your company falls into. If your company falls into the defense category, assess your company’s leadership. Do you feel it has the talent and support to transition into a company that plays offense? If not, that either has to be you, or it’s time to plan your exit.

Tally up how many answers are offense versus defense to see which is dominant.

  1. Does your company provide coaching on emotional intelligence or merely sexual harassment awareness training?

Emotional Intelligence training = Offense

Sexual Harassment training = Defense

Neither = Apathetic = RUN!

  1. Does your company have strict attendance policies or do they operate on an honor system?

Strict clocking in/out = Defense

Honor system = Offense

Nobody tracks attendance and everyone abuses it = The company is probably bleeding money – RUN!

  1. Do performance reviews incorporate goals you identify with or solely those of your boss/department?

Boss goals = Defense

Individual goals = Offense

We don’t have performance reviews = Who still does this? RUN!

  1. If there are conflicts between co-workers, is the focus of the resolution aimed at identifying and punishing the “offending” party, or is there a benefit of the doubt extended to all parties with an aim to arrive at a mutual understanding and compromise?

Punishment-oriented = Defense

Empathy-oriented = Offense

We fight it out and the loudest, bossiest person wins = RUN!

We experience no conflicts = Reflects either an authoritarian culture dominated by orders and compliance, possibly stifling creativity and originality RUN!

OR everyone is hired based on their agreeable nature = Be wary, as innovation most likely lags far behind.

  1. When it comes to social media policies, does your company forbid or restrict social media or do they encourage you and train you to leverage it as a promotional tool? (Exclude yourself from this question if your whole industry is regulated.)

Browsers block social media = Defense

Social media savvy is promoted = Offense

Most of my co-workers waste the majority of their day messing around on social media = Your company may be a front for illicit activities, because companies can’t survive like this RUN!

You may find that if your company is more defensive than offensive, much of the day feels tense and the moments of triumph are few and far between. If you would like to become an agent of transformation to coach your company to be more on the offensive, Epic Careering offers one-on-one leadership coaching as well as workshops. Or, if you now realize you would rather work for a company that is further down the evolutionary road, we can help you land there too.

On the other hand, if your answers indicate that your company is playing offense and doing it well, I anticipate you will be growing and hiring, and I would love to help more quality talent pursue your company as an employer. We should connect!

If any of the above apply to you, private message me or e-mail me at Karen@epiccareering.com.

Freddie Mercury – In My Defence (Official Video)

Freddie Mercury – In My Defence (1992) Click here to subscribe – http://smarturl.it/sub2FreddieMercuryYT Click here to buy Freddie Mercury – Messenger Of The Gods – The Singles: https://MessengerOfTheGods.lnk.to/FreddieStore Freddie Mercury was a man of many talents and many different sides.

Never. Stop. Learning. But Also…

Teaching by Joris Louwes on Flickr

Teaching. Teaching is the fastest way to reinforce what you learn. Many branding experts like myself will tell you that the benefit of writing a regular blog, LinkedIn post or even a status update is to help you establish a reputation as a thought leader, to raise your visibility and credibility, to demonstrate that you add value, so that employers come to YOU. That happens.

But also, we retain 70% of what we SAY, as opposed to 50% of what we see and hear. (We also retain 90% of what we SAY and DO!)

Right now I am reading a book on neuroscience and it is teaching me dozens of 60-second exercises that help develop and strengthen the parts of the brain responsible for motivation, decision making, creativity, and awareness – the four integral ingredients to building wealth, which as it turns out, does increase happiness (according to scientific studies.)

Rest assured, I will be trying these exercises and re-teaching them so that I remember them. Of course, I want to remember them so that I can continue to re-teach them to my clients in my coaching practice, so that I can continue to increase the value that I bring as an income optimizer, which will increase my own income as a byproduct.

So, even if you aren’t writing a blog or a post, look for opportunities to share what you are learning. This is why book clubs and interest groups (meetups) are great forums.

Since we’re here and I’m still in bed (because it’s 7 AM in California where I am right now,) I’ll share the one simple morning strategy I learned in this book so far:

Take a moment upon waking to stretch slowly and feel the comfort of your sheets. Tune into the sensations in your body. Assess your emotional state. Paying special attention to pleasurable sensations will stimulate the motivational center of your brain. Focus on the pleasurable sensation and imagine it multiplying, as it does the more you focus on it. Then visualize what you WANT to happen that day, overcoming anything that could stand in your way. I have shared this before, because it was previously taught to me, but the science behind it is new – doing this has been proven to improve your potential for success. [Mental contrasting and transfer of energization. Sevincer AT, Busatta PD, Oettingen G. Per Soc Psychol Bull. 2014 Feb;40(2):139-52.]

As a questioner (a la Gretchen Rubin’s 4 Tendencies) I need to understand the logic behind any recommendation before I buy into it. Even though I had found the teachers who passed this on credible, knowing the science is proven is reinforcing to me that this is a worthwhile effort to make, especially because I want the outcome for me and for my clients.

So not only am I incentivized to do it, I am incentivized to pass this on to you.

Try this simple exercise every day for 2 weeks and let us know what difference it makes for you.

Have a prosperous week.

Beatles Getting Better All The Time

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

 

 

Step 6 to Career Happiness: Refine! It is and it isn’t a Numbers Game

Numbers by MorebyLess of Flickr

 

A lot of people do not follow step five to happiness, asking for help, because they assume that the reasons they are not able to land the job that they want after making a concerted effort are beyond their control, or worse, that the problem is them. In other words, they feel beyond help. This is a dangerous and wildly inaccurate perspective, because it can lead to hopelessness and depression.

There has been a trend in the past year on LinkedIn I have been watching with concern. Against personal branding best practices, people are pouring their heart out about their despair in their status updates, as comments on other viral status updates, or even calling out people that they blame for their situation.

Even though most get what they seek with these actions, sympathy, encouragement, sometimes even advice or offers to help, there is a detriment to doing this, which I cover in my vlog, Get Interviews Through Your Network – The #1 Key Ingredient Most People Are Missing. However, some advice people give is good, and some of it, unfortunately, can actually make people feel worse in the end.

The advice that can be most damaging is that it is a numbers game. By the time someone has gone seeking advice online, they have usually already exhausted themselves replying to anything and everything for which they could possibly be a fit.

To hear that they just have to sustain that somehow can be very daunting. And, I do not think I need to repeat the definition of insanity.

What they really need to hear is that some of their activities are going to produce really great results, and when they discover what that is they do not have to spend nearly as much time and effort getting those results.

To be clear, the results you want to see in your job transition of course are interviews, but not just any interviews. Interviews are a big expenditure of our effort and energy. To do them right you have to do a lot of research, practicing and mentally practicing, making yourself look and feel professional, and then there is the adrenaline needed to just travel there and get through the interview. Then, of course, there is the energy that you spend after the interview wondering how you did, when you will hear something, when the appropriate time to follow up is, do you even want this opportunity, did they like you… On and on.

While momentum in your job transition does look like multiple viable opportunities in play at the same time, the key is “viable.” Judiciously give time and energy for opportunities that are a good fit for you and you for them.

Backing up a few steps, other results that indicate that you are doing the right activities, are introductions to other people relevant to your goals, whether they be in a target company or not. Even one introduction to someone who is well-connected can lead to multiple high-quality leads, if you can teach them how to develop those leads for you.

That is the other key – not only do you have to do the right activities, but you have to do them in the right way.

Though many people do not know what the right activities are and what the right way to engage and execute is, anyone can learn them. It is also true that this can differ from person-to-person based on individual goals, challenges, and strengths.

You can discover these on your own, which means instituting a good activity tracking system that also tracks your results, evaluating that on a regular basis, and experimenting with and tweaking your activities.

I estimate that if you were disciplined with inputting your activities, strong with data analysis, and bold enough to try various activities, that with some trial and error, you could be much more productive and efficient by week five or six.

If you do not have five or six weeks for trial and error, you do not consider yourself disciplined, strong in analysis, or bold by nature, but you are coachable, you can be more productive and efficient in half the time by engaging a career coach like me who has the systems, tools, expertise, and a strong track record of results.

Besides the pragmatics of your activities and what you do, there is also another how that must be addressed, because some people are doing the right activities, but who they are does not inspire the action of others. I’m not trying to say that people are being wrong, but what I am saying is that some people are not being their full, complete selves. Before you invest in a coach, you have to find one with whom you can be completely open and vulnerable, otherwise your investment could be in vain. A coach worthy of your investment will be able to identify and promptly, compassionately share with you when you are not thinking or acting in your highest good. Furthermore, besides tools and systems to help you and your activities, they will also offer tools and systems to help you heal and restore so you show up as a person that you would hire.

So, while you know you are doing the right things in the right ways from the right frame of mind when you have multiple viable opportunities in play, the key is to getting there is not to continue activities at a high volume for the sake of activity.

If you have come to an unfortunate and inaccurate conclusion based on lack of results that you are the problem, please have a free consultation with me. You are actually whole, complete, and perfect by nature, though you may have been taught and believe otherwise. You do enough, you have enough, and you are enough. You may need some help accepting that, or you may not have answered the call to adventure that is true to you.

 

Success and happiness is yours for the taking.

This is the final part of my six-part series. If you have missed previous entries please see steps one, two, three, four, and five.

 

Step 4 to Career Happiness: Allow, Accept, and Architect

The Architect’s Hands by Steve Grant of Flickr

When you visualize yourself in your ideal future, is there dissonance that makes you resentful, fearful, or even guilty?

Does it make sense that if you experience these emotions, you are not able to fully go for it?

Actually, you can, but you have to acknowledge these emotions, confront them, and overcome them first. You have to dis-empower them, or they stand to call the shots without you even realizing it.

  • They may prevent you from reaching out to a VIP.
  • They could make other things more important than attending that event or filling out that application (which, as you know by now is your last resort, Plan D, but still sometimes necessary).
  • They could keep you from articulately and powerfully promoting yourself when you do get the chance to interact with potential game-changing contacts.
  • They could stop you from stepping up in a meeting to share your idea.
  • They can keep you from trying at all, even just doing online research.

How do you dis-empower them?

The first step you did last week. You noticed them. You have no chance of stopping them if you do not even realize they are there, and tuning in to how you feel when you really put yourself in the place of having your ideal future is a great way to initially notice them. However, the next step is to catch them while they are operating in your life.

Mel Robbins talks about this phenomenon called activation energy – it is a natural occurrence when you have an inkling to take action, but it dissipates after five seconds if you do nothing (what she calls the five-second rule).

She is pretty clear about this – fail to take advantage of activation energy, and you are sabotaging yourself. Why do we do that? These automatic thoughts that manifest as negative emotions are the reason.

So, next time you have an idea to do something that could potentially bring you closer to your future, be mindful of your decision.

Do you decide that you’ll do it later? Do you really ever do it later?

Do you not only add it to your list of things to do, do you add it to your calendar?

Or, do you take care of it right away?

According to Mel, you do not have to necessarily take care of it right away, but you if you take a baby step, you will experience all the good feelings, such as pride and optimism, that can lead you to forming good action-taking habits faster. You can become addicted to these good feelings, and that will lead you to take immediate action more frequently. This immediate action will compound toward momentum that gets you ever closer to your ideal situation.

If, however, you do none of these things, really look at why. By really, I do not mean what was your excuse. In most cases your excuse is just how you justified it to yourself to ease the negative feelings of inaction – further guilt, shame, etc. that can compound instead toward depression and anxiety, which further hampers your ability to take action on your own behalf. By really look at why I mean, what was the automatic thought and corresponding emotion that led you to do nothing.  Allow these thoughts to surface. You could have been suppressing them so long you have tuned them out. It could take some time for you to fully take notice of them.

I am NOT intending for you to feel bad about your inaction. As I explained, this is of little value and can actually be a hindrance. The intention is for you to find the lesson; identify the thought, acknowledge it, listen to it. Give it a chance to make a case for truth. Act as the judge and jury, weighing the veracity of this thought.

Will your friends and family really ostracize you for achieving something great in your life?

Will you change for the worse by being successful?

Will you be a hypocrite?

You may find, actually, that there is truth to these statements, in which case you now have to make an empowered choice to either accept mediocrity for the sake of integrity, love, and acceptance, or you can decide that achieving a more ideal version of your life is worth risking love and acceptance. You may also decide that it is ultimately up to you whether you maintain good character or not (which it is). Perhaps your ideal future is not as ideal as you thought, and you can create a new vision of an ideal future that would not have you risking so much.

On the other hand, you may adopt a “make it work” attitude. If your neighbors, friends, or families really cannot accept a more successful you, they will learn to. You can reassure them. Love is stronger than judgment.

You may also find none of these things are truth – just fears, perhaps even fears that were someone else’s originally – not yours. You adopted them, but you can now reject them.

Before you do, though, thank them. Be grateful for your new awareness of these thoughts. Either accept them or release them, and then feel the sense of peace that you have with your decision.

 

Whether you decide that your ideal vision of the future is not worth what you think you could lose, or you decide to adopt a new way of thinking about having an ideal future, you get to be the architect of change in your own life.