Suffering

Ditch the Drama – Part 2 Recap of the PA Conference for Women 2018

The breakout session spoke to me: “Ditch Workplace Drama and Drive Results”

Oh, Hallelujah!

Now, it has been a long time since I had to deal with drama with any regularity, having not been a full-time employee for over 12 years. However, even as a subcontractor and volunteer, just the interacting with other humans for the sake of collaborating on projects of mutual interest and benefit seems to expose me to drama.

As I shared last week on part 1 of my PA Conference for Women recap, I was thirsty for tools and information I could put to use and share right away.

I have met a new woman, Cy Wakeman, whose database of knowledge and habits I would love to instantly download. And I was exposed to a term that resonates so strongly with my quest to use every second for the utmost outcome, whether that outcome is fun, productivity, co-creating, vitality, adventure, or intimacy.

Behavioral economics – a study dedicated to understanding and adjusting the time it takes humans to make decisions, take actions, and communicate words that accelerate progress and results while eliminating poor outcomes and wasteful actions and communications. (My paraphrased definition.)

What’s even better, is that it ties data to practices that are proven, but considered a bit fringe for most corporate environments – being in your highest self.

Whaaaa?

Not only that, but she debunked so many popular corporate myths about engagement, accountability, leadership, open-door policies, and more. I wish everyone could have been there. It was EPIC.

As usual, if you read my blogs/posts or follow me on Twitter, you get the benefit of attending even if you weren’t there because I captured as many golden nuggets as possible. My blog is one of my favorite ways to re-teach what I learn to share the wealth, but also to reinforce what I learn. I do this with my speaking engagements, as well. A room full of Human Resources professionals will benefit Friday from this download of de-dramatization techniques. It’s a shame I had to hand in my pitch deck several weeks ago, but I will find ways to weave it in. What Cy had to share is relevant to ALL people and all relationships. It’s life-changing! Thankfully, 450K+ people get to hear her message each year with her 250-day/year speaking schedule.

I look forward to reading my signed copy of No Ego: How Leaders Can Cut the Costs of Workplace Drama, End Entitlement, and Drive Results.

Below are my tweets of the good stuff you would have missed if you weren’t there:

Green Day – Drama Queen ( Lyrics )

Uploaded by umaro seidi on 2012-11-21.

Karen Huller, author of Laser-sharp Career Focus: Pinpoint your Purpose and Passion in 30 Days (bit.ly/GetFocusIn30), is founder of Epic Careering, a corporate consulting and career management firm specializing in executive branding and conscious culture, as well as JoMo Rising, LLC, a workflow gamification company that turns work into productive play. 

While the bulk of her 20 years of professional experience has been within the recruiting and employment industry, her publications, presentations, and coaching also draw from experience in personal development, performance, broadcasting, marketing, and sales. 

Karen was one of the first LinkedIn trainers and is known widely for her ability to identify and develop new trends in hiring and careering. She is a Certified Professional Résumé Writer, Certified Career Transition Consultant, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with a Bachelor of Art in Communication Studies and Theater from Ursinus College and a minor in Creative Writing. Her blog was recognized as a top 100 career blog worldwide by Feedspot. 

She was an Adjunct Professor of Career Management and Professional Development at Drexel University’s LeBow College of Business, will be an Associate Professor in Cabrini University’s Communications Department in 2019,  and is also an Instructor for the Young Entrepreneurs Academy where her students won the 2018 national competition and were named America’s Next Top Young Entrepreneurs.

 

Are You Impacted by the #1 Cause of Suffering?

Part 9 in the MindValley Reunion=Mind Blown series, which continues next week


After years of personal development study and practice, I was amazed that I could be made aware of a truth so obvious, and so fundamental, yet never realized its prevalence and the vast impacts that it has on so many lives. It is why Marisa Peer is the most quoted expert in Vishen Lakhiani’s book, Code of the Extraordinary Mind, and among my blogs.

There is a reoccurring automatic thought (some experts call them ANTs – Automatic Negative Thoughts) that many other thoughts can be traced back to. And if you have felt as though you have fallen short of your personal goals, or that your life is not living up to a par you have established, even if by most standards your life is good, this is often the thought responsible for that feeling.

As a world-renowned hypnotherapist who has worked with youth and the destitute as well as the rich, famous, and even royal, Marisa has seen this thought play out in so much needless suffering. This thought causes marriages to fail. It causes emptiness even when resources are full. It causes people to hurt others. It causes suicide. It causes addiction.

This thought is, “I am not good enough.”

Can you see anywhere in your life where this thought, which by now is most likely a belief, impacts your decisions, which impacts your results?

Have you ever shied away from speaking with someone? Have you ever decided a goal was “too big?” Have you pushed love or friendship away because you felt at some point it would go awry?

When you look in the mirror, what is your internal dialogue? When you see someone with an outfit, haircut, or career you admire, does it make you feel good, or worse?

If you are reaching for really big goals, why? Are you doing it for you? Are you hoping that by achieving big goals you will feel like you are doing enough? Are you hoping that it will make someone proud, perhaps someone who never seems fully satisfied with your efforts?

When you do experience success, do you feel ease or do you feel something else – anxiety, pressure, fear?

A couple other common pervasive and limiting beliefs are “It’s not available to me” and “I am different, so I cannot connect.”

Really take a look at this, because converting these thoughts and beliefs into positive supporting thoughts and beliefs will change your life for the better.

Here is a simple pattern that we can observe easily:

A thought, especially one that is reinforced with evidence or one that recurs, becomes a belief. Beliefs drive our decisions, which become our actions or inactions. These actions or inactions become our results.

Neuroscience has helped us understand better how our brain operates, and how neural pathways are formed that make certain things automatic, and they become habits. Habits are behaviors that we don’t think much about – we just do them. This is supposed to be helpful to our survival, except that this is how bad habits are formed.

Chances are that if you have identified this thought at work in your life, it has been at work for a very long time – since you were a child.

The traditional treatment for this is therapy. Marisa points out, however, that it is still highly inefficient and based on the fact that some people spend years in therapy without vast transformation in their lives.

Newer discoveries in neuroscience have found that we are more capable of changing our brains than once believed, and that it doesn’t have to take years to do it, and to see results from it. Hypnosis has been scientifically proven to be effective in accelerated, even instant, resolution of bad habits.

Marisa has been working with some of the top neuroscientists to develop a program called Rapid Transformational Therapy, and at the MindValley Reunion in San Diego in August, she brought us through 4 of the 7 modules of this program, which is based on practical neuroscience and teaches you to be your OWN healer.

If you have ever tried to change before, you know how hard it is, and this is also thanks to our brain and its tendency to want to protect us. When anomalies in patterns or our environment occur, our brain naturally fires synapses and releases hormones that we experience as unease or even anxiety – our heart rate increases, our breathing gets short, our muscles tense up, our palms may sweat. This can feel uncomfortable, and depending on the level, can even feel painful. If we do nothing to intervene with these responses, we will naturally be inclined to avoid things that create these responses. We may even use our logical brains to validate our need to avoid them.

By becoming mindful, we can choose to be more conscious than subconscious about our reaction. We can ask questions that our mind will naturally answer, such as, “Is my life being threatened?” We can also manipulate our physical response by choosing a slower breath and relaxing our muscles. If we can make this a practice, we can create new responses to change, and even associate positive change with good feelings, and release dopamine instead of cortisol, which will make us crave change and the good feelings we have started to generate. The thing is, this practice still takes significant time.

What Marisa has done is leveraged what we understand now about the brain to build neural pathways in ONE short session.

Here is the GREAT news > Right now MindValley Academy is offering a FREE 30-minute Masterclass so that you can experience this for yourself! I have no idea how long this will be offered, so do not hesitate to sign up now!

 

In the meantime, if you feel brave and see how it can serve others, share with us in the comments what you discovered about how these common thoughts and beliefs have impacted your life.

P!nk – Don’t Let Me Get Me

P!nk’s official music video for ‘Don’t Let Me Get Me’. Click to listen to P!nk on Spotify: http://smarturl.it/PSpot?IQid=PLMGM As featured on Greatest Hits…So Far!!!.