Personal development

We Are In Big Trouble If Leaders Don’t Start Doing This

Reflections

How do we shift from a world where rampant mental illness pushes people to the limits of their humanity to a world where we take good care of one another?

Could it be as simple as breathing??

Letting go?

Healing?

Processing?

Allowing?

Surrendering?

Choosing happiness?

Self-reflection may be simple, but it’s not easy.

I cherish my time for self-reflection. Without it, I tend to stay in a stressful loop. In a moment I might start to go down a rabbit hole, thinking about an interaction that I had or have to have. Without time to process these thoughts fully, they just stay in a loop.

There is something I am supposed to get from these repeating thoughts, which is why my brain keeps showing me it. I need to reveal it’s meaning, process my emotions about it, and then put it behind me as completed. If not, my energy gets sapped. I find it hard to focus and all tasks take longer. I may even procrastinate or escape into TV or social media. Still that thought loops.

It’s like when you are running late for something and you keep going back to your house for different things you forgot and it just gets later and later. Ever do that? Be in such a rush that you forget important things and it causes you to be even later?

I notice that if tasks and obligations, including my cherished kids and clients, keep me from giving these thoughts my full attention for a while, I start to resent them. I get short tempered. I set up boundaries to protect myself. I have more freedom to do so because I am self-employed. Still, when I accept work, I make a commitment and that commitment has to be fulfilled. I don’t always see a busy time coming and I get stuck

However, companies need to adopt a self-care culture to allow their people to grow and develop not just skill wise, but in their consciousness. Our planet actually depends on it!

Otherwise, we get unconscious producers in power, focused only on producing hard results without consideration of consequences. This explains situational greed, a neuroscience concept I introduced in a previous blog in which the brain starts to rewire itself to pursue more power and/and possessions, sometimes even becoming addicted to the dopamine release of acquiring more power and/or possessions. Without being able to regularly take time, which becomes even harder as you take on more responsibility and authority, this can go unchecked and lead to a host of toxic conditions and detrimental consequences.

Without that time, I could not have written this!

A balance, however elusive, appears to be the more accurate place from which to make critical decisions that impact many.

Not work-life balance, but production and reflection balance. An employer can’t assume its employees are doing this at home.

This is a generalization, but often those at the top of the income chain employ the assistance of others to take care of admin/housekeeping, even child rearing. But do they use the time that is freed from those tasks for reflection? Or, do they use that time to produce or feed ego?

Most other people, including top producers, are going home and attacking a busy kid activity and homework schedule plus a home care task list. Then they zone out consuming media because they are mentally and emotionally exhausted – another generalization, I realize.

Still, I think it’s fair to say the general workforce is not in the habit of making time for self-reflection, and if they are, they doing it incompletely and getting stuck in the loop I described above.

The loops below are a much better model for conscious growth, whether you are a leader or a producer:

Achieving Conscious Leadership

 

  1. Consumption – Make plans based on new insights, illuminations, teachings
  2. Reflection – Consider how people and planet will be impacted directly and indirectly
  3. Production – Set goals and intentions and execute
  4. Reflection – Examine direct and indirect impacts, as well as own performance relative to higher self

The key is self-intimacy (into-me-I-see). Not just asking how was it, evaluating in terms of results, profits, etc., but asking how was I. Sometimes the answers aren’t good, and the ego doesn’t like them.

But the higher self, the one who wants to continually evolve into a better and better person, a better leader and a more positive influence on the people around them, needs them.

Coincidentally, I came across this warning signs list this morning. I thought someone might need this more than music, so I’m sharing it.

https://www.higherperspectives.com/warning-signs-nervous-breakdown-2610845741.html

The Perfect Pass, and I Dropped the Ball

I was given the perfect opening, and I dropped the ball.

It’s really odd. I had my HR Summit presentation for the Greater Valley Forge Human Resources Association finished a couple months before I had to deliver it. I had plenty of time to learn it. I switched things around several times, including at the last minute because I learned something I had to pass on.

Then, I get into the groove, I was asked a question for which the answer aligned perfectly with the new juicy nugget I wanted to pass on, and not only did I totally whiff on delivering it then, I forgot to deliver it at all!

I shared it in last week’s blog, actually. But I was presented with the perfect practical application of that, which would have served as an eye-opening, a-ha moment for many, I just know it, and I didn’t deliver.

I told everyone to look up and follow Cy Wakeman. I’m sure I got that much out, and I mentioned her insights on open-door policies and a new communication training that if executives and employees alike were both trained in and applied it, careering would be epic on so many more levels. I just failed to demonstrate it when someone confronted me with a perfect scenario.

So, this blog is a make up for my omission that you get to benefit from, as well.

The scenario presented (I’m going to keep this general so as to protect the person who shared,) was that a person was hired to work with leaders in promoting the company, but is not finding leaders participatory.

She was given the following advice, some from me and some from other attendees:

  • Go after the most willing convert
  • Get an influencer on board
  • Ease them in gradually
  • Do it all at once; rip off the Band-Aid

Any of this advice might be right, but the opportunity was not to give advice. Actually, it was to ask self-reflective questions to restore this person’s empowerment.

Things I should have asked her:

  • What do you know for certain?
  • What can do you to move forward?
  • If you were great in this situation, what would that look like? [Great, go do that.]

Instead, I commiserated. I actually said, “That sucks! I’m sorry you’re in such a tough position.”

I’m sure the validation made her feel a little bit better, but what would have felt even better was being able to see clearly what she could do and then being empowered and encouraged to do that.

There’s so much I have yet to learn from Cy, including her views on change management, which so far I discern are contrarian to what I see being implemented in corporate practices. Times are a-changing, though. We all NEED to be able to adapt faster.

This technique of switching from ego-self to higher self in an instant is just one of many potential mini-practices that stand to make a HUGE impact on the everyday work experience.

I know if I had more than a week to practice it, it would have felt like the natural response.

In spite of my regret not sharing it live at the event when the perfect moment presented itself, I’ll assume it worked out for everyone’s favor that I share it this way, and I’ll continue to practice it myself.

It’s what I know I can do, and it feels better to do what I can than to worry about not having done it already.

I also forgot to make sure everyone got my free gift, so click here for a report on Experiential Recruiting.

Bob Dylan The Times They Are A Changin’ 1964

TV Movie, The Times They are a Changing’ (1964) Directed by: Daryl Duke Starring: Bob Dylan

Karen Huller, author of Laser-sharp Career Focus: Pinpoint your Purpose and Passion in 30 Days (bit.ly/GetFocusIn30), is founder of Epic Careering, a corporate consulting and career management firm specializing in executive branding and conscious culture, as well as JoMo Rising, LLC, a workflow gamification company that turns work into productive play.

While the bulk of her 20 years of professional experience has been within the recruiting and employment industry, her publications, presentations, and coaching also draw from experience in personal development, performance, broadcasting, marketing, and sales.

Karen was one of the first LinkedIn trainers and is known widely for her ability to identify and develop new trends in hiring and careering. She is a Certified Professional Résumé Writer, Certified Career Transition Consultant, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with a Bachelor of Art in Communication Studies and Theater from Ursinus College and a minor in Creative Writing. Her blog was recognized as a top 100 career blog worldwide by Feedspot.

She was an Adjunct Professor of Career Management and Professional Development at Drexel University’s LeBow College of Business, will be an Associate Professor in Cabrini University’s Communications Department in 2019, and is also an Instructor for the Young Entrepreneurs Academy where her students won the 2018 national competition and were named America’s Next Top Young Entrepreneurs.

When Someone Slanders You At Work

Gossip=workplace violence

Gossip-Violence

I was bullied and picked on as a kid, and there were things I wish I had understood then that might have led me to spend fewer days broken and miserable by it, though I also see that was part of my journey now.

#1 – “Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business.” (This quote has been attributed to so many different people, or I’d give you the source.) UNLESS, your reputation supports your livelihood OR you want to grow and develop into a better person. It’s a great time for self-reflection, but don’t obsess. Here’s where it would be helpful to know – are the negative things based on opinion/bias, or were they related to something you did/said?

#2 – “Hurt people hurt people.” (same for this quote) Sometimes the people who need the most compassion are the ones who show the least. This person may have felt hurt, either by you or another, and subconsciously think that they will feel better if they inflict hurt upon someone else, as if that makes the world a more fair place. In this case, though I know how hard and scary it might be, confront them with compassion.

By nature, we tend to want to make ourselves look good/right, and sometimes that means making other people look bad/wrong. If it might have been you who hurt them, sincerely ask them what you did, how they feel, listen, take accountability, apologize, and promise that you’ll never do it again. Let them be right; take the hit of being wrong. You’ll feel/look better in the end and you will have grown, learned and developed from it – all of which helps you be a better human, friend, collaborator, etc.

If you don’t think it was you, ask them, “Did you ever feel like the world was unfair?” Get them talking and listen. This type of conversation can be completely transformative for both/all parties.

#3 – “Misery loves company.” (Who knows where this originated. Some theorize the ancient Greeks.) Just watch the below video. While bullies fit into the above category, the power struggle has a bit of a different dynamic, because they will be more relentless to make you feel bad. I don’t know if you’re a boy/man or girl/woman, but girl bullying is more psychological than physical. Being excluded and being the subject of gossip is often the M.O. Just don’t get caught up in doing it back. The best revenge is being happy in spite of their efforts – make sure they see you having fun. Have more than one group of friends. Though I’m still friends with my core group of friends, I also still (20+ years later) keep in touch with other groups of friends, too.

#4 – “A troll is a troll is a troll.” (Me) People see these trolls for what they are – bored and miserable. They fit into #2, too. Guy Kawasaki recommends, if the comment/complaint is even worth a response for the sake of maintaining integrity in your point/message, give him/her your best, witty, intelligent response and drop the mic. You can also follow Sarah Silverman’s example:

Sarah Silverman’s response to a Twitter troll is a master class in compassion | CBC Radio

I’ve learned many ways of coping with this, and here are two good ones:

Think of 3 reasons that this person might have done this. It will help you develop a sense of compassion and understanding, which is the bridge from misery to peace. It can help you decide if you need to take further action or not.

Another is to just forgive – recognize that we’re all dealing with our own stuff, and how we see other people is a reflection of how we see ourselves. The better we are at letting go of these hurts, the less they weigh us down, the higher we can soar. I just shared a mini-hypnotherapy season on this: Hypnotherapy by Karen Huller

Of course, if someone is ruining your reputation and that reputation is something you need for your livelihood, you need to decide if restoring your reputation would require a rebuttal or a reconciliation.

After hitting a slump in placements as a recruiter, my boss had me working under a mentor who was killing it in placements. After 2-3 months my mentor confirmed to my boss that I was doing everything that I was supposed to be doing, which raised questions about the feedback he was receiving from a couple of account managers with whom I was paired regarding a lack of quality candidates. My boss invited me to, right then and there, ask the two account managers into a meeting with me, him, another VP to whom I reported, and my mentor. I was delighted to clear the air.

This was done in a formal, professional, non-confrontational manner. It was an opportunity for me to ask for feedback that would actually help me perform better and be a better contributor. That’s how I approached it. The outcome was completely in my favor.

He let me take the lead. I asked them to provide specific examples – job orders assigned to me for which they received not enough or no qualified candidates. One of those account managers took accountability for not properly qualifying job requirements and not getting quality feedback on candidates submitted. The other could only provide general feedback – no specifics.

My boss concluded that it was a perception issue, not a performance issue. Looking back I realize that my results, or lack thereof, was also a function of my disengagement in the activities. I was taking the steps necessary, but my mindset was not in it. That took years of self-reflection and additional coaching to identify.

Everything worked out as it was meant to, though. A few months after this I started this business. That was 12 years ago. I’m glad I moved on, but also very glad to have left with my reputation in tact, as my co-workers and former boss continue to refer clients and opportunities to me.

If you feel you are being unfairly assessed, initiate a similar type of meeting in the spirit of self-betterment. You may learn something about how to be more successful there, or you may learn that you just aren’t in the right culture to thrive. Do something with what you learn, either way.

My boss was working with a coach who I am sure influenced his approach to resolving this, and he made this coach available to anyone on the team as well. I know I benefited from that coach. She helped me reach a place where I can say with confidence I gave it all I had, identify some blind spots, and plan my exit after realizing that my best in that role in that company was far from what I could give in this capacity (career coach/professional branding consultant.)  I do for others what she did for me. I recommend getting one.

Adele – 21 – Rumor Has It – Album version

Adele 21 Rumor Has It She, she ain’t real, She ain’t gonna be able to love you like I will, She is a stranger, You and I have history, Or don’t you remember? Sure, she’s got it all, But, baby, is that really what you want?

Karen Huller, author of Laser-sharp Career Focus: Pinpoint your Purpose and Passion in 30 Days (bit.ly/GetFocusIn30), is founder of Epic Careering, a corporate consulting and career management firm specializing in executive branding and conscious culture, as well as JoMo Rising, LLC, a workflow gamification company that turns work into productive play. 

While the bulk of her 20 years of professional experience has been within the recruiting and employment industry, her publications, presentations, and coaching also draw from experience in personal development, performance, broadcasting, marketing, and sales. 

Karen was one of the first LinkedIn trainers and is known widely for her ability to identify and develop new trends in hiring and careering. She is a Certified Professional Résumé Writer and Certified Career Transition Consultant and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with a Bachelor of Art in Communication Studies and Theater from Ursinus College and a minor in Creative Writing. Her blog was recognized as a top 100 career blog worldwide by Feedspot. 

She was an Adjunct Professor of Career Management and Professional Development at Drexel University’s LeBow College of Business, will be an Associate Professor in Cabrini University’s Communications Department in 2019,  and is also an Instructor for the Young Entrepreneurs Academy where her students won the 2018 national competition and were named America’s Next Top Young Entrepreneurs.

What Emotional Intelligence and Mindfulness Training ISN’T

By Bruce Mars

Woman_mirror

Why is emotional intelligence suddenly so touted as a major leadership skill?

Because we know a lot more about what makes people tick, what motivates them, and what inspires top performance than we ever did before. HINT: It’s not the old dominant intimidation model that helped the moguls of the past become monopolists (Ford, Rockefeller, Carnegie.)

Industry was built by men during a time when being a man meant being tough, not showing weakness (by ways of emotions,) making decisions and demanding compliance, or else. The line between respect and fear was very thin.

Research done in 2005 proves that greedy entrepreneurs have less customer and employee satisfaction.

The more a leader gives freely, the more they will inspire trust and reciprocated financial and emotional rewards. The more they create a climate of lack, the more survival instincts will lead to cut-throat competitiveness that kills collaboration.

I mean, science does tell us this, but common sense might also tell you that starving people of rest, sleep, joy, living wages, and sometimes actual food will inhibit their performance. But that doesn’t mean that it’s common sense to make sure that your employees get ample rest, sleep, food, vacation time, fun, and money. That sounds like common sense, right?

What about starving people from being heard, having a voice, growing in contribution, having and expressing emotions, and being human?

We are learning more about what it means to be human and what it means to be an optimized human. So much has been discovered about the brain and its relationship with the mind, body, and spirit.

Did you know there actually is a part of your brain related to spirit? The insula and anterior cingulate, which also help you process social dilemmas. These are “newer” parts of our brain, evolutionarily. However, they are also parts of the brain we didn’t know much about, especially the implications of its clinical function, when many of today’s leaders were in college. And, these areas don’t fully develop until well into your third decade of life, unless this is accelerated (and development can be with practices that take mere minutes daily.) In fact, while they are the slowest developing parts of our brain, they are critical to helping us with perception, morality, and virtues.

So, it would stand to reason that this type of training certainly benefits everyone, especially younger professionals, and perhaps even students.

However, a major focus is on leaders for obvious top-down reasons, like the fact that a leader is more effective when he or she leads by example, and leaders are expected to set the tone for the culture. But also, science now recognizes that as someone grows in ambition, they may express what is being called situational greed. Greed can contribute to amassing wealth, but can also cause people to act unfairly and selfishly, which will inspire altruistic punishment instead of cooperation and collaboration. It can also lead to full-blown crisis, such as the great recession. It needs to be kept in check, and for that, awareness is necessary. So, emotional intelligence and mindfulness training will also prevent leaders from a well-documented inclination that can lead to decisions that inspire low satisfaction, disengagement, and even sabotage.

On the upside…

What would be possible for your company if all of your employees could be trusted to act in the highest good of the company, its people, and its employees?

What would happen if, instead of having leaders who were able to leverage the strengths of his or her team, you have a team that can leverage each others’ strengths?

If this seems like a pie in the sky outcome, you may need to readjust your expectations of what is possible, and even what’s probable when you focus on enhancing individual self-awareness and empathy.

Think about all of the measures you take now to handle conflicts, ensure compliance, and mitigate human-based risks. You’ve been playing defense. I invite you to see what’s possible when you employ EI/MT (Emotional Intelligence/Mindfulness) training and start playing offense.

Small ripples create big, transformative waves.

What is EI/MT NOT?

It’s not just explaining etiquette. It’s not teaching ethics. It’s not a new way to make some people feel inferior or superior. It’s not going to make your employees “soft.” It’s not suppressing or denying emotions or emotional responses. It’s not a way to avoid conflict.

In fact, it’s going to help your employees become more self-sufficient at facilitating non-judgmental communications and consensus building. They will crave collaboration, think more creatively, and have healthier relationships with their emotions.

I have seen mindfulness be misapplied and misused to discourage people from disputing management decisions that seem to not be in the highest good. I have also seen people employ mindfulness and meditation to escape their emotions. These misuses backfire in big ways. The first is really bordering on mental abuse, and the second will lead to physical symptoms and illness. What we resist persists. Emotions need to be embraced and allowed. What the training does is release emotional bottlenecks and give them a more appropriate and healthful way to flow. It also increases awareness of the emotions so that decision making is done in an enhanced state of mind.

I have also seen those who have the training make others who are struggling emotionally feel like they need fixing. If you have been playing defense, the introduction of these trainings risks imposing these feelings. There is a way to introduce these trainings to your workforce that will help them embrace the changes and get excited about all that is possible for them rather than making them feel like they are joining a woo woo club of spiritual elitists.

Finally, these practices may produce a flow state, but that doesn’t mean that your workforce will suddenly become “soft” and unable or unwilling to deal with pressure. In fact, mindfulness has been proven to increase resilience.

I know a lot has been floating around about trainings of this type, which are not new, but have now at least been proven by small and large organizations to have a positive impact. If your interest is piqued, reach out to schedule a consultation and learn how EI and Mindfulness training can enhance your work experience and outcomes and those of your team.

Edie Brickell & New Bohemians – What I Am

Music video by Edie Brickell & New Bohemians performing What I Am. (C) 1988 Geffen Records

Karen Huller, author of Laser-sharp Career Focus: Pinpoint your Purpose and Passion in 30 Days (bit.ly/GetFocusIn30), is founder of Epic Careering, a corporate consulting and career management firm specializing in executive branding and conscious culture, as well as JoMo Rising, LLC, a workflow gamification company that turns work into productive play. 

While the bulk of her 20 years of professional experience has been within the recruiting and employment industry, her publications, presentations, and coaching also draw from experience in personal development, performance, broadcasting, marketing, and sales. 

Karen was one of the first LinkedIn trainers and is known widely for her ability to identify and develop new trends in hiring and careering. She is a Certified Professional Résumé Writer and Certified Career Transition Consultant and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist with a Bachelor of Art in Communication Studies and Theater from Ursinus College and a minor in Creative Writing. Her blog was recognized as a top 100 career blog worldwide by Feedspot. 

She was an Adjunct Professor of Career Management and Professional Development at Drexel University’s LeBow College of Business and recently instructed for the Young Entrepreneurs Academy at Cabrini College, where her students won the national competition and were named America’s Top Young Entrepreneurs.

Think There Is Nothing You Can Do About North Korea? Think Again!

Part 3 in the MindValley Reunion=Mind Blown series, which continues next week

Have you ever been to a live learning event? It could be a conference, or a seminar, or a Ted talk. Have you ever been awe-inspired by what you learned? Did you have an epiphany that changed your life, or did you realize something about who you are that altered your idea of yourself and the world?

If you have, then you know it’s an experience worth doing again, and yet life and obligations can push it down our priority list, as powerful as we know it has the potential to be.

If you have not, you may be initially out of your comfort zone, especially when efforts are made to have you fully integrate and become acquainted with your fellow attendees, but if you are willing and able to open your heart and mind to new possibilities, you WILL take with you insights that are bound to change the trajectory of your life, if you are also then able to apply them, and given you have found the right event.

Last week I shared with you that the MindValley Reunion in San Diego August 19th and 20th was one of those such events.

Over the next several weeks, I intend to relay to you some of the most influential moments and teachings for me. Even though all in all it was just 16+ hours of experience, my challenge will be trying to capture the power of the moments, and I’m still only on things revealed by the host, Mia Lux Koning, in the initial opening of the event.

Lux means light, and I can attest to how she illuminated some very interesting observations that started off my experience in such a thought provoking way, setting the tone for a bombardment of illuminations. One I covered last week, how some people perceive personal transformation to be selfish. [http://epiccareering.com/personal-development-selfish/]

This week, I want to focus on her observation that personal development has not yet been adopted widely by people on the East coast (of the US). She has traveled all over the world with MindValley, and lives on the East coast, as do I. I have noticed that many of the personal development coaches that I have learned from live on the West coast.

That always left me wondering, as I do sometimes when it comes to my clients’ decisions to relocate to an industry hub, as well as my own questions in my youth when I considered pursuing a career in music if I should go to New York or Los Angeles or make a name for my home metropolis, Philly, like Boyz II Men or The Roots. If what you want to change the world or make a name for yourself, do aim to be a big fish in a little pond, and then upgrade, or dive into a pond full of sharks as a little fish? And, does where you live even matter in this connected world where people collaborate remotely with ease?

If what I want is for more people to realize the integral role that personal development has in achieving goals in any realm of life, do I go to where people are already in alignment with that concept and capture that audience, or do I meet the rest of the people where they are at, earn their trust, build rapport and leverage that to influence them to experiment with various techniques and tools?

So many other questions were spurred by this one observation. I attempted to speak with Mia about them, but you can imagine how busy she was; we only had a total of 3 minutes or so to speak, total.

Some of these questions were spurred by things I had learned previously from MindValley teachers, such as Christie Marie Sheldon, and authors, such as Lynne McTaggart [The Field, The Intention Experiment.] Follow this like a theorem, if you can remember learning those. If all of the following are true, then… (read the bullets below and then see my assertion.)

  • Jeffrey Allen, a Saturday speaker at the MindValley Reunion, pointed out that the Earth, as scientifically measured, is vibrating at an exponentially higher rate than in the past, and that vibration continues to increase exponentially. In the 1970s, the earth’s vibration was 7.83 Hz. In 2014, it was ~ 24 Hz. Today it is 40 Hz. This increase is true of the human species as well. Our vibration is increasing at the same ratio. (More on Jeffrey Allen’s presentation in later weeks.)
  • Christie Marie Sheldon revealed that there are various parts of the earth where the vibration is very low, and others vibrating much higher. War torn areas, for instance, are vibrating very low. The scale that she uses is from 0-1000 and is based on researchers using kinesiology and muscle testing.
    • Muscle testing was demonstrated definitively by Donna Eden on Sunday at the event. Even the medical doctors that were in attendance could not refute the veracity of muscle testing. (More on Donna’s demonstration in later weeks.)
  • In her book The Field, Lynne McTaggart chronicled historical clinical and government tests that support the science behind quantum physics, the law of attraction, the mind-body connection, and our inherent intuitive and psychic abilities, and then in her book The Intention Experiment (The Field is a prerequisite for reading The Intention Experiment,) she went on to use science to demonstrate how we can tap into the Universal forces within all of us to influence reality.
  • In 1993, 4,000 practitioners of Transcendental Meditation focused their practices on reducing crime in Washington D.C. between June 7th and July 30th. Their goal was to reduce homicide, assault and theft by 20%. They achieved a 23.3% drop, and the results seemed to correspond with the number of participants, and there was a lasting effect on lower violent crime.
  • Back to Lynne McTaggart, who shared that remote psychokinesis, or the ability to use the power of the mind to affect physical reality from afar, had proven to be such a credible practice with substantial results that the US government had a program to use such capabilities to gain intelligence from afar, as well as to impact enemies’ environments, bodies, and weapons. This is the same program the book and movie Men Who Stare At Goats starring George Clooney is based on.

If all of this science is true, then…

We are capable of influencing peace and positive progress, AND by collaborating in real time from remote places, focusing on the same results, we may be able to

  • Disarm North Korea
  • Accelerate rebuilding and recovery of Texas and Louisiana
  • Reverse global warming, so that these regions and everyone else impacted can stay in their homes
  • End the war in Afghanistan
  • Ease tensions in Syria, South Sudan, and the Ukraine
  • Alleviate hunger in Nigeria
  • Deliver rain to Somalia
  • Of course, reduce violent crime in your own neighborhood or city

And on and on…

I think you are seeing now how the 10K hours+ I have invested in personal development is anything but selfish, if that was even a perception you had, but more so, I hope you realize the significance and potential impacts of these findings.

Now questions that remain are:

  • How and where do I start to lead such an effort, or is an effort already ongoing that simply needs more awareness, and I can contribute in that way?
  • Do I focus on gathering people from areas already aware of practicing disciplines that have proven effective (which include prayer,) or…
  • Do I bide my time, increase my influence as it relates to careers and purpose and then leverage a greater platform to influence such an initiative?
  • Can this even wait? Vishen Lakhiani presented on The Human Reset and shared an alarming insight from Tom Chi that if we fail to raise the consciousness of the people on the planet, and technology continues to evolve at a faster pace, then technology is sure to be used for lower-consciousness intentions – war, and we may not be able to save our planet!

You may be in a place where you have immediate issues in your own life that require your focus and attention before you can expand concern to others in the world, and I hope that you turn to personal development, which can look like spiritual development, or psychological development, or physical development, or mindfulness development. Science has proven its effectiveness.

I suggest you start with MindValley – they have teachers and courses that cover almost all realms of your life, and if you have an issue causing you immediate pain and requiring all your focus, they most likely have a teacher, coach and/or course to help you, except for careers – you can still come to me for that.

 

Please leave a comment if you can see the potential for a large-scale effort of this kind, or if you have doubts and questions to share. If you want to be included in future invitations to do so, PM me with your e-mail address.

Eric Clapton – Change The World

Come On Sing Along!

Is Personal Development Selfish?

Part 2 in the MindValley Reunion=Mind Blown series, which continues next week

In the first couple hours of the MindValley reunion, thought provoking questions were invoking a deep sense of curiosity.

The host, Mia Koning, a beautiful Kiwi soul, shared a couple of observations:

#1 – On the East Coast of the US, where we both currently reside, though in different cities, personal transformation, also known as self-help, has not yet been adopted on a wide scale, or at least as widely as it has been adopted on the West Coast (more on that next week), and…

#2 – That there is a perception that personal development is a selfish indulgence.

What?! At first I thought, who would think this, then I looked deeper at the time that I spend on personal development, which also in my field happens to be professional development, being that I am a coach. Because it is something I have benefited a lot from, and it enhances how I serve my clients, it is a common sense investment of time and money for me. However, it is also something I thoroughly enjoy, and there are times when making it a priority means making something else less of a priority.

One time instead of playing a game with my kids, I took them to a playground to play with other kids so that I could listen to a live-streamed event. I have rushed them off to bed so that I could attend a live webinar at 9 PM.

Is that selfish, and is there a line that, if crossed, personal development is something that is more costly than beneficial?

Then, also, having not been to, let alone immersed in, Europe, Asia, Africa, South America, or Australia, I cannot compare how many people are adopting personal development as a regular practice. I wondered if any data available could substantiate where in the world personal development was most promoted and acceptable, and if it would be better to live there, or to live in a place where there was less adoption and be a change agent.

In a later post I will cover more interesting revelations shared by Jeffrey Allen, such as how we’re being pulled as a race toward awakening and awareness and how the vibration of the earth and of humans is exponentially higher as measured scientifically, and is continuing to increase. Conflicts as we experience them now are due to this shift and the contrast between those who adopt versus those who resist.

An engineer once told me that innovators have a target on their backs. Someone is always waiting to let you make groundbreaking discoveries and then leverage it and surpass you for glory. Is glory the right goal, and should people be discouraged from innovating because someone else might get the credit? Should it matter to me if I am a pioneer or if I am simply a more visible, vocal spokesperson spreading the discoveries of those before me?

I realize my curiosities are starting to seem scattered from the main topics here, but this demonstrates how one event with several impactful speakers can get you from thinking singularly about your own world and your own problems to thinking globally. Furthermore, it was shared and has been proven to me, that people connect deeply with others when they co-experience an awe-inspiring stimulus together. I was not the only person opening myself up to greater possibility and potential.

So, was my trip to San Diego for the MindValley Reunion selfish? Were my investments in time and money in the courses I have taken over the years selfish endeavors, which include but are not limited to:

  • Online programs through MindValley and by John Assaraf, Rikka Zimmerman, Derek Rydall, Brent Phillips, Eben Pagan, and Christian Michelson.
  • Live transformational programs, such as doing a year of Landmark Education curriculum (The Forum, The Advanced Forum, The Self-Expression Leadership Program, Power to Create, and Access to Power,) an Abraham Hicks live event, Bill Walsh’s Rainmaker course, and T. Harv Eker’s Millionaire Mindset Intensive.
  • Reading books by Gretchen Rubin, Sonia Choquette, Don Miguel Ruiz, Hal Elrod, Jen Sincero, Jen Groover, Susan Gregg, Esther Hicks, Louise Hay, Rhonda Byrne (of course!), Lynne McTaggart, Bruce Lipton, Robert Kiyosaki, Napoleon Hill, Joe Vitale, Gary Vaynerchuck, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Dan Milman, James Redfield, Marcus Buckingham, and more.

I know the answer is fundamentally NO.

I started on this journey to find joy – to be more in joy than in suffering. I admittedly suffered a lot. I had a great sense of self-pity for my unhappy childhood, and I had a great sense of justification for my attitude. Personal development has helped me spend more time in joy and less time in suffering. On the surface, this may seem like a selfish endeavor, but I knew I wasn’t just doing it for me. I was doing it to make sure that my suffering didn’t have a cost for others in my life.

Plus, so many of my decisions in life were driven by a false sense of needing to belong and be accepted. When I decided that if I wanted to be a game-changer, I had to be authentic, the hard work of being authentic began, and continues. Through personal development I have expanded my sense of purpose beyond my immediate circle of influence and now see myself as someone contributing to grander initiatives, resolving problems that impact more than just myself – but I had to start with the problems that plagued me before I could expand further.

Even if someone just wanted to be his or her best self, is that selfish? Even if it ends there, is that selfish?

Don’t you think that when you become someone who is more in joy and less in suffering, you become someone creating ripples that spread joy?

 

Please comment and share your opinion: is personal development a selfish endeavor?

Michael Jackson – Man In The Mirror (Official Video)

In keeping with the lyrical message of “Man in the Mirror,” which was strongly identified with Michael Jackson and reflective of his own philosophies, the short film features powerful images of events and leaders whose work embodies the song’s message to”make that change.”