Archives for August 2017

Is Personal Development Selfish?

Part 2 in the MindValley Reunion=Mind Blown series, which continues next week

In the first couple hours of the MindValley reunion, thought provoking questions were invoking a deep sense of curiosity.

The host, Mia Koning, a beautiful Kiwi soul, shared a couple of observations:

#1 – On the East Coast of the US, where we both currently reside, though in different cities, personal transformation, also known as self-help, has not yet been adopted on a wide scale, or at least as widely as it has been adopted on the West Coast (more on that next week), and…

#2 – That there is a perception that personal development is a selfish indulgence.

What?! At first I thought, who would think this, then I looked deeper at the time that I spend on personal development, which also in my field happens to be professional development, being that I am a coach. Because it is something I have benefited a lot from, and it enhances how I serve my clients, it is a common sense investment of time and money for me. However, it is also something I thoroughly enjoy, and there are times when making it a priority means making something else less of a priority.

One time instead of playing a game with my kids, I took them to a playground to play with other kids so that I could listen to a live-streamed event. I have rushed them off to bed so that I could attend a live webinar at 9 PM.

Is that selfish, and is there a line that, if crossed, personal development is something that is more costly than beneficial?

Then, also, having not been to, let alone immersed in, Europe, Asia, Africa, South America, or Australia, I cannot compare how many people are adopting personal development as a regular practice. I wondered if any data available could substantiate where in the world personal development was most promoted and acceptable, and if it would be better to live there, or to live in a place where there was less adoption and be a change agent.

In a later post I will cover more interesting revelations shared by Jeffrey Allen, such as how we’re being pulled as a race toward awakening and awareness and how the vibration of the earth and of humans is exponentially higher as measured scientifically, and is continuing to increase. Conflicts as we experience them now are due to this shift and the contrast between those who adopt versus those who resist.

An engineer once told me that innovators have a target on their backs. Someone is always waiting to let you make groundbreaking discoveries and then leverage it and surpass you for glory. Is glory the right goal, and should people be discouraged from innovating because someone else might get the credit? Should it matter to me if I am a pioneer or if I am simply a more visible, vocal spokesperson spreading the discoveries of those before me?

I realize my curiosities are starting to seem scattered from the main topics here, but this demonstrates how one event with several impactful speakers can get you from thinking singularly about your own world and your own problems to thinking globally. Furthermore, it was shared and has been proven to me, that people connect deeply with others when they co-experience an awe-inspiring stimulus together. I was not the only person opening myself up to greater possibility and potential.

So, was my trip to San Diego for the MindValley Reunion selfish? Were my investments in time and money in the courses I have taken over the years selfish endeavors, which include but are not limited to:

  • Online programs through MindValley and by John Assaraf, Rikka Zimmerman, Derek Rydall, Brent Phillips, Eben Pagan, and Christian Michelson.
  • Live transformational programs, such as doing a year of Landmark Education curriculum (The Forum, The Advanced Forum, The Self-Expression Leadership Program, Power to Create, and Access to Power,) an Abraham Hicks live event, Bill Walsh’s Rainmaker course, and T. Harv Eker’s Millionaire Mindset Intensive.
  • Reading books by Gretchen Rubin, Sonia Choquette, Don Miguel Ruiz, Hal Elrod, Jen Sincero, Jen Groover, Susan Gregg, Esther Hicks, Louise Hay, Rhonda Byrne (of course!), Lynne McTaggart, Bruce Lipton, Robert Kiyosaki, Napoleon Hill, Joe Vitale, Gary Vaynerchuck, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Dan Milman, James Redfield, Marcus Buckingham, and more.

I know the answer is fundamentally NO.

I started on this journey to find joy – to be more in joy than in suffering. I admittedly suffered a lot. I had a great sense of self-pity for my unhappy childhood, and I had a great sense of justification for my attitude. Personal development has helped me spend more time in joy and less time in suffering. On the surface, this may seem like a selfish endeavor, but I knew I wasn’t just doing it for me. I was doing it to make sure that my suffering didn’t have a cost for others in my life.

Plus, so many of my decisions in life were driven by a false sense of needing to belong and be accepted. When I decided that if I wanted to be a game-changer, I had to be authentic, the hard work of being authentic began, and continues. Through personal development I have expanded my sense of purpose beyond my immediate circle of influence and now see myself as someone contributing to grander initiatives, resolving problems that impact more than just myself – but I had to start with the problems that plagued me before I could expand further.

Even if someone just wanted to be his or her best self, is that selfish? Even if it ends there, is that selfish?

Don’t you think that when you become someone who is more in joy and less in suffering, you become someone creating ripples that spread joy?

 

Please comment and share your opinion: is personal development a selfish endeavor?

Michael Jackson – Man In The Mirror (Official Video)

In keeping with the lyrical message of “Man in the Mirror,” which was strongly identified with Michael Jackson and reflective of his own philosophies, the short film features powerful images of events and leaders whose work embodies the song’s message to”make that change.”

MindValley Reunion = Mind Blown!!

Part 1 in the MindValley Reunion=Mind Blown series, which continues next weekSunday morning my Uber driver asked if I was going to church, and I replied, “No.” That wound up not to be true at all.

It will be very challenging to portray exactly how immensely powerful this weekend was for me and 800 other people from 40 different countries. So, I’m going to break it into a series, starting with a summary of the sequence of speakers at the MindValley Reunion in San Diego.

First, let’s start with what is MindValley? That’s a good question, but a better question is WHO is MindValley.

Before this weekend I would have the told you that MindValley was a personal development publishing company led by a bold and forward-thinking pioneer, Vishen Lakhiani. Now, I realize that I am MindValley, and so are all my new friends, including some speakers that I have admired for a while now, as this company is much more about community and connecting than anything else.

Now, let me tell you how my Sunday experience turned out to be like church, but better.

It started out with a moving keynote from Don Miguel Ruiz, legendary author of one of my favorite spiritual teachings, The Four Agreements and his son, Don José Ruiz, co-author of The Fifth Agreement. This was the most moving keynote I have ever seen. 1600 eyeballs were streaming with tears in awe of the simple wisdom being bestowed upon us.

 

A couple hours later, world renowned hypnotist Marisa Peer, who I have shared with you , guided us through four modules of her Rapid Transformational Therapy, a program she co-developed with doctors to instantly rewire your neural pathways and reverse the toxic beliefs that keep you stuck in a life that doesn’t nearly reach its potential. It teaches you to be your own therapist.

Then after another brief encounter with Donna Eden’s (the world’s leading practitioner of energy medicine) husband, David Feinstein, who had been a traditional Psychologist until he met Donna, I ate lunch with Donna’s daughter (I didn’t realize this until after she and I exchanged compliments and she left) and as well as 3 medical doctors (an oncologist, a general surgeon/Functional MD/Cosmetic Surgeon and an infectious disease specialist). They had been eating with David, but he was just finishing, and when I learned that the medical doctors were sitting and conversing with David, I was really sorry I missed that exchange! Donna and David later demonstrated and led us through very simple and quick energy exercises that anyone can do to restore your body to balance and full energy. I needed that after Marisa dredged up some memories that left me a bit heavy.

 

The next speaker was not as spiritual, but he was moving, and has been a highly rated speaker, including for Tony Robbins, Eric Edmeades. He made us laugh, and gave me something to aspire to when it comes to standing for others’ transformations in my marketing and sales.

This was just ONE of TWO days of mind-blowing experiences.

By the end of this weekend I was (am) seriously considering an opportunity to move my family to Estonia for a month for an immersive educational and cultural experience for all of us.

I made friends with people from around the country and the world, including from Canada, Australia, Ecuador, Peru/Denver, Brazil, Lithuania, and I am sure some other countries.

Saturday started by having breakfast with a fellow coach, who gave me rights to share anything I want from his huge library of content, and he recommended 6 different resources to check out. He was my hero, because he found the cups for the coffee. I really needed it to absorb the concepts shared thereafter.

The speaker lineup Saturday started with someone who’s tips I have been sharing with my business students to help them craft compelling stories that will get them hired, AND, I got to tell her that. WOW!!! AND… She’s now my coach!! If you don’t know who Lisa Nichols is from her appearances on The Secret, Oprah, Steve Harvey, The Today Show, or any other myriad of appearances, you will! She knows how to move you into action, take away ALL your excuses, and make you realize how divinely precious your life is. I was furiously taking notes (through tears) so that I could capture her words, eager to share them with you. It won’t have the same impact, because, well, there is something incredibly different about being feet away from someone who can look you in the eye, touch your shoulder when she walks by, while you can also feel everyone around you reaching a new level of living, I have learned. Just, WOW!

 

Then it got very cognitive, in a global consciousness raising kind of way. Jeffrey Allen, former Department of Energy Engineer, now Energy Healer, shared how we evolve, denigrate into different states of living. That’s not what he called it, but his point was that we are all moving as a species and a planet toward a higher vibration, and there are two ways it can go, we can destroy the planet fighting trying to stay where we are, or go with the flow and surrender to the forces pulling us toward a higher state of mind.

The next speakers were introduced as the world’s sexiest grandparents, and, well, they must be. I can’t say too much about the topic, as it was racy, and the speakers asked that we keep the content among us, but I am hoping to apply the tips they shared and experience a whole new level of enjoyment in my life.

Lastly, Vishen himself spoke about how we can reset humanity based on 5 teachings from a scientist, a writer, a naturalist, a philosopher, and a mystic.

In the coming weeks’ blogs, I will be expanding on these teachings (except for the racy one,) so if you couldn’t be there with me, at least you can benefit from the amazing content shared.

In the meantime, I highly encourage you to check out MindValley and all of the amazing transformational programs they seem to launch on a daily basis, and keep your eye out for them, as they are quickly becoming a worldwide leading authority on transformational technology and experiences.

If there is anything in your life you would want to improve, they probably have a program for that. [Actually, they don’t have a program for careers. They do on purpose, but not careers – I’m hoping to change that!]

 

Have you ever been to an event that changed your life for the better?

Jamiroquai – Blow Your Mind

Jamiroquai’s official music video for ‘Blow Your Mind’. Click to listen to Jamiroquai on Spotify: http://smarturl.it/JamiroquaiSpot?IQid=JamiBYM As featured on High Times: Singles 1992 – 2006.

How to Be Honest About Interviewing for a New Job with Your Current Boss


A client of mine is under extreme scrutiny at work. His company is bleeding talent and they are on high alert for critical people that they could lose.

He, like me, has no poker face. He was confronted directly by his boss after we updated his LinkedIn profile. He found out with his answer whether or not he was looking for another opportunity. He wondered what he was justified in telling them, but he still wanted to be honest because that is his nature.  He knows the topic will come up again, especially because he will be interviewing soon.

We brainstormed some ways to deal with inquiries about his job seeking activities honestly, but without putting his job at risk.

Realistically, even if they knew that he was looking, they can’t afford to just fire him. But he also can’t afford a ding on his record, nor could he sustain his current standard of living for his family if he had to spend any time unemployed.

Below are things that you could say to minimize concerns while still being able to deliver a genuine answer.

Reasons why you need time off of work:

  • “I have an appointment.” This may or may not be sufficient for some employers. Technically, they are not allowed to inquire about anything medical. Keeping it vague may not alleviate concerns completely, but you may at least escape further inquiry for the moment. If pressed further, or to be preemptive, choose the next option.
  • “I have to resolve a matter.” This me, again, be too vague to alleviate concerns, but it may change the perception from you interviewing, to perhaps a legal matter.
  • “There is an event that I’m hoping will make me a better performer.”  This doesn’t immediately sound like an interview, but it is the truth in cases of when you are feeling inhibited in your performance by the conditions of your current employment. If you are asked more about this event, tell your boss that you are uncertain how valuable it will be, so you will let him or her know afterward. Then, if asked afterward, you may be able to share some insight or intelligence you learned in your interview.
  • “I have to tend to a personal matter.” This could be a stretch for us types. You would have to genuinely change your perception of a career from something professional to something that’s truly personal to you. Considering how much our career impacts other realms of our lives, this isn’t too far of a stretch. Most bosses back off from inquiring further about personal matters, unless they feel it is something that is impacting your performance.

When asked flat out if you are seeking another job, here are some answers that allow you to be honest while still securing your current position:

  • “Let me ask you – can you assure me that my job is 100% secure and that you can accommodate the growth that I seek in responsibility and income?”  This is potentially adversarial, and only works in situations where your reasons for seeking other employment is an uncertainty around the security of your future at your company. Everyone has the right to protect their source of income. This can open up good conversation between you and your boss around improvements and conditions that would make staying at your current employer better.
  • “Well, you know. Everybody wants me. I am a top commodity.” When I envision delivering this answer, I envision it to be delivered in a humorous manner, but you have to keep your audience in mind, and it has to feel natural to you. You may expect further inquiry. The facts are, that if you are valuable talent, your bosses should always expect that you are being recruited and do everything possible to retain you.
  • “I have met with other companies to discuss opportunities, but I intend to stay.” What you are not saying, is how long you intend to stay. Again, this could feel like a stretch of the truth, and you may ultimately feel worse when you do have to give your notice and it comes as a shock.

If you have not yet tried to address with your boss the conditions that inspire you to want to seek another opportunity, I recommend that you try that first. I don’t necessarily recommend that you tell your boss that you have thought about looking elsewhere, but instead to approach your boss from a place of wanting to make things better for the whole team. As in, “these are things that I have noticed.” And you will also want to come to the conversation with a list of possible solutions. If your concerns and solutions are not heard, considered, or implemented, any good boss would expect you to be looking elsewhere. Then again, any good boss would hear, considerate, and implement some of your solutions, given that they are reasonable. Also, most good bosses will be proactive about making sure that they know where you stand and what they can do to make you the leader you want to be.

 

Chances are good that you have had to take off of work for an interview. What have you said to your boss about where you were going?

John Lennon – Gimme Some Truth (Lyrics)

Read the title 🙂

Back in the Hiring Saddle

First, let me take a moment to acknowledge the amazing support I have enjoyed from my former assistant, Angela Moseley. I know there were times I took for granted how much less I had to burden myself so that I could better support Epic Careering clients and move forward initiatives, like publishing my book. In fact, until I had to replace her, I hadn’t realized frequently enough how lucky I was to have talent like her – A self-starting Journalism graduate from Temple, with a sense of pride in her work, and as much of an appreciation of what we do as a company as you could expect from someone who hadn’t built the company herself.

Angela, best wishes to you in your new full-time endeavor. I hope you find the shift from freelancer to employee to favor your hopes and dreams for the future.

Today my daily devotional distinguished knowledge from wisdom as wisdom being derived from experience that teaches you, and knowledge as being information you acquire. I always thought that being truly wise meant learning from other people’s experiences – not having to endure the same trial and error to reach the same conclusions.

Having now endured my own search for a new assistant, there is some wisdom I would like to impart. I continue to read disgruntled posts from job seekers and hiring managers alike on why recruiting is even a profession – why do businesses need to allocate such a critical function to an outside party?

I attempted to straddle in between the job seeker’s perspective and the hiring manager’s perspective, constantly re-visiting my process and standards as I saw what was coming in. I can’t say I am certain I didn’t stray too far in one direction or another at times, but I can tell you that if my budget allowed for extra margin, I would have totally outsourced this very important job, and I have experience as a recruiter.

Let me report happily that, while it was not easy and required a tremendous investment of effort, energy and time, I have found someone I believe has great potential to help me push Epic Careering toward even greater client and customer service as well as greater product quality and usage so that we can help more people empower themselves to harness our resources and the power within them to pursue and land career opportunities that offer them the life that they want.

Help me in welcoming Syndie.

This will be the first blog Syndie will help me post. (Complaints can be directed to… just kidding 😉

Here are some observations that were somewhat forgotten and reinforced by my experience back in the hiring saddle.

1. Many candidates don’t follow directions

I’m not sure if some people feel that they are exceptions that you will just have to notice how great they are in the way that they do things, rather than how you want them to do things. I am hiring a subcontractor to work ¼ time, and yet I want to hire someone who considers themselves a part of the fabric of what I have built and continue to build, so from the get-go, I want to see a candidate not just willing to, but interested in learning about the career services industry, where the résumé is considered a major product and tool.

I am not expecting applicants to be résumé experts, but I expect an actual résumé – not a sales page. In my business your résumé is not just a critical introduction to your work history, but a work sample. If providing a résumé or making improvements to your résumé based on my instruction is too much outside your comfort zone, I don’t see why I should see that you are going to be a valuable contributor to my business.

In trying to see things from the freelancer’s perspective, I could only assume that these freelance virtual assistants had such a thriving reputation and pipeline of opportunity that my opportunity didn’t stand out as particularly interesting. I concluded that Epic Careering is better off without someone who was not interested enough in this industry to want to develop/furbish a best-in-class résumé.

2. Many candidates do not research thoroughly (enough)

While I do recognized that I am the expert on such things, I find it hard to accept that people take the time to write a cover letter without specifics that demonstrate that you have attempted to understand what we do, what initiatives we’re invested in, and what there is to have genuine excitement about when I post a blog each week that puts it right out there.

Why would I want to waste any time reading a letter that was not targeted to me, or did not give me an indication that you really want this opportunity?

Here is where I attempted to get back over the line into the job seekers’ perspective – the conventional job application process can be a confidence, even a soul, killer. Once your hope in a good outcome is dead, efforts seem futile. Making an extra investment of time, allowing yourself to get excited about an opportunity, attempting to make a meaningful connection with a stranger you hope to be your boss, can seem like a great recipe for (further) disappointment. This is why we coach our clients to reset their expectations and execute a proactive campaign method. Otherwise, you are going to get stuck in your own self-fulfilling prophecy loop.

Statistically, you are more apt to have positive results (introductions/interviews/offers) if you invest more time getting closer to opportunities for which you have genuine excitement than to half-heartedly pursue opportunities you are hoping for only because they represent an earning potential you need or want.

3. Many candidates do not have a sense of urgency

I clearly outlined the steps to apply, as well as the qualification process. Many precluded themselves from consideration by not supplying requested documents at all, even upon specific request or instruction; they took a long time to deliver. If I need you to be available 10 hours per week, I would anticipate you would have at least an hour to invest in helping yourself through the qualification process.

Again, I understand that if you had spent time on searching for a job or freelance opportunity-seeking using conventional methods, you are probably reaching a point of resignation. If only those who failed to deliver understood clearly the restoration of faith you will gain in your own ability to make great opportunities happen by landing this opportunity, you might have been able to create the time you needed to pursue this further.

 

Your loss is Syndie’s gain, and the drop-off and disqualifications of all other candidates during the process will prove to be my gain.

Back in the Saddle Again, Aerosmith

i got bored again